Very sad.
In a competition in F&SF, I wrote an alternate ending to FAHRENHEIT 451, where Guy Montag suggests they write all books on asbestos.
Now I'm starting to wonder if the idea should be taken seriously...
-A.R.Yngve
If women want to give advice to other mothers, it must be because they care. Or could it be... dare I say it... (Dare! Dare!) maternal instinct?
Even us guys feel protective around kids.... or at least we recognize ourselves in kids' behavior, and think: "I'd better tell that dumb kid to stop playing on the railroad track before he nearly kills himself, like I almost did at his age."
:)
-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com
The horror... the horror...
-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com
In related news, Dave Langford reports (at http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Ansible/a211.html ) that the missing pages of Jim Theis' "The Eye of Argon" -- arguably the world's worst fantasy story -- have been found!
The librarian who found the complete manuscript reports that "the long-missing Page 49 begins: `With a sloshing plop the thing fell to the ground, evaporating in a thick scarlet cloud until it reatained its original size.' "
The incomplete "Eye of Argon" can be read here:
http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/eyeargon.html
Enjoy... he he he! Ha, ha, ha! MUA HA HA HAAA... *cough* *hack*
-A.R.Yngve
Here is my *complete* book of writing advice:
"How To Stop Procrastinating
1. Switch off the TV.
2. Disconnect your modem/ADSL.
3. Put on earplugs/loud music.
4. Get to work!
5. Produce at least one page before going to sleep.
6. Repeat.
The End."
I'm not an American, so I'll skirt the pscyhoanalysis of Presidents (been there, done that).
About writers... I can only speak from personal experience. The key to writing success is not to be insanely ambitious only.
1. You must be persistent like the tortoise... crawling toward its goal, one millimeter at a time. (Then, when the goal is close, prepare to run like crazy!)
2. You must be insanely patient.
3. It takes a decade of writing to get good at it - if that.
4. What one editor likes, another one doesn't. Move on. Shrug it off. Don't let them get you down.
5. Do not be arrogant or make haughty demands to publishers...
6. ...but don't sign up with vultures either. (A contract of the type "We grab all rights, forever" isn't worth signing.)
7. Try to have a sense of humor.
8. Remind yourself that J.K.Rowling was rejected by all the major publishers.
9. It may just be the case that you have no talent. But there's only one way to test that.
10. Don't quit your day job.
-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com
In the spirit of current American humor, here is another anecdote:
25 Chechen terrorists sneak across the U.S.-Mexican border, and make their way to a large public school during the night. They break into the school, shoot the guards, throw grenades into the parking-lot and take several hundred teenagers and children hostage.
After attempts at negotiation fail, the Chechens start executing first teachers, then children. Some are beheaded.
Desperate schoolchildren try to escape through the windows. The kids are shot in the back while fleeing, the police storm the buildings but too late: the terrorists, crying "Allah is great!" set off the explosives and kill themselves plus a large number of children.
After the carnage has ended, bereaved Americans start blaming each other, the government, the police, the children, the teachers, the military, the political parties...
And the punchline is: Al-Qaida members think this story is really funny.
-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com
Hi!
I've been called much worse things than "idiot" in my 35-year life, and bigger and meaner people than you have tried to "squash" me, sometimes with their fists.
I live in Norway. Come and visit me sometime!
Sincerely,
-A.R.Yngve
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|---|---|
| 2005 | 6 |
| 2004 | 3 |
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