The most recent 20 comments posted to Making Light by Duncan J Macdonald:

Carrie S. @ 46:

And if I were your Friday night DM, I'd tell you the next time a Lurking Horror drops from the ceiling, "Dang! I knew I forgot to do something!"

I never let my players have SOPs like that. If they couldn't remember to do something, tough casaba mellons.

Back on topic, I met EGG at the Schectady Studio of Bridge and Games back in 1977. He was there as GOH at a week-end D&D tournament, and DM'd a game for us. Nasty, nasty DM. If there was a wayt to interpret the rules/situation that would most harm the players, that's the one he took. Made me try to raise paranoia to a new level (didn't work).

He'll be missed.

Spherical Time at #721
Has this already been done? Probably, but I'll go anyway.

A tall reincarnated orphan farmboy with three wives learns he has magic powers and is destined to fight evil except in the end

That would be Eboreg Wbeqna'f Jurry bs Gvzr.

Ginger @ 47

OK, how about Young officer in space navy gets on bad side of admirals and is sent off to punishment tour, stumbles upon invasion plans, has fight to death against larger ship, and saves the kingdom?

Surely On Basilisk Station. You left out the treecat, though.

What I really want is that camera. 7 plus hours of recording with out changing tapes (obviously a digital hard drive model) or the battery. Plus, it survives that admittedly weak ending.

I'd hit the monster with that thing -- chances are the moster breaks before it does.

What a Wonderful Thread Title!

Visions of Zombies chanting "Braaaaaiiiinnnnssss"!

To All In General:

I've got a Garmin i3 Streetpilot -- obtained for my wife (she's a school bus driver, and goes on field trips, and needed one that could work off of AA batteries, since the busses don't have auxiliary 12 VDC outlets.

Now for the war story -- speaking of combat testing -- which we were. Two years ago I took the family ona driving trip in Europe. Now, I'd been stationed there (in bella Napoli!) and had done some driving around, but nothing like what was scheduled.

Paris to Dijon to Innsbruck to Venice to Rome to Turin to Paris.

Lucy did very well in every situation except Turin (which is where she got her name "Loopy Lucy", 'cause Lucy's got some 'splainin' to do!)

The i3 stores its map data on a micro-SD card. I bought the European version of the map software, and found a 1 GByte micro-SD, and managed to squeeze France, Italy, Germany, and Austria onto that card (just not all at the same time).

We had fun. While we were in Dijon, we had some free time, so we found the Cathedral of Mary Magdalene, and figured we'd go. (How many 8th century chapels are there in the US?) I turned on the i3, and scrolled through the list of Points of Interest -- and found the Cathedral, so away we went.

I'm not sure if my wife ever opened her eyes on the drive up to the top of the hill where the cathedral is located (all good fortifications should command the high ground, yes?) but it is a good thing that the Citroen C8 minivan that we were driving has power-folding outside mirrors. Otherwise, we'd never have gotten up that street.

So, now I have stood on the very steps where Richard the Lionheart stood where the Third Crusade began, and I've got pictures of the Reliquary of Mary Magdalene.

Duncan @ 51

Apologies for the self-referential posting.
A quick Google yielded several sources for recordings of The Twelve Days After Christmas.
This one sounds the best to my jaded ears.

Emma @46

I sang this piece as a member of the "Nautical Notes", the a capella sub-group of the Navy Choristers at the US Naval War College in Newport Rhode Island lo these many moons ago.

The sheet music is available here.

Owlmirror @ 900:

Dear Madam,

I regret that I must be the one to inform you that your complaint has not reached its intended recipient. Indeed, any firther communication from you will be discarded unread. For some obscure reason you think that we are all stipid darfs here at Underworld Typwriters, LLLP.

You, as well as all of our 20**20 happy authors need only read their contracts to realize that they are iron-clad examples of TRVTH, and that we have fulfilled our parts completely. Perhaps if you would apply yourself as dilligently to advertizing your Book, you would have better sells.

Underworld Typewriters, LLLP is a traditional typewriter company, and we expect your abject and grovelling apology immediately and post haste.

Augur Support

Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) @ 768

What, putting it in MS Windows didn't work? Or is it just that the souls so acquired went to a different department, and not to your bottom-line?

We had it built into MS-DOS, and needed to switch to ear-buds when XP arrived. Even our twisted Infernal Engineering Department couldn't make that intergration nightmare work.
All our Divisions (we call them Bolgia) share the same bottom-line. It allows us to underbid our competitors without straining one business unit.

Ah, so you're the vulture capitalist behind Infernal Office.

Sir, you make me blush. I thought that the inclusion of 'Clippit' was especially vile. Thanks.

Is it true that there's One Macro that controls all others?

Why, yes. Would you like a copy? Just prick your finger and sign here ...

Sincerely,

Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Leslie in CA @ 753:

I should have guessed that your entrepreneurial drive would be equal to any challenge.

You have no idea of how -- motivational -- our regular sales meetings can be when the speaker wields a large, flaming whip.

Your concern for my soul is ... warming. I find, however, that my good old Standard Mortal Model does just fine for me. It's what I'm used to, and I really wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm sure you understand.

Oh, yes, I understand. I have had years of practice waiting on Mortals. [Note to Self: Self, investigate undermining the repair depot and parts supply for Standard Mortal Model equipment] In case you should change you mind in future (or that deadline looms too close), I shall keep your contact information in my Rolo-hex.

Sincerely,

Mephistopheles

Come now all, DIDDO is the output of a Underworld Delux Soul-Sipper 2000 when the vict /h/h/h/h user types DITTO.

Sincerely,

Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Mary Frances @ 709:

@693: "automagically"--what a wonderful word!


Alas, I can not claim credit. I first saw the term some years ago, on Usenet, I believe. It does fit marvelously well in certain situations, so I blatantly stole it.

Sorry, but that's what I do.

Do you need a typewriter?

Sincerely,

Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Leslie in CA @ 714:

I suspect there are far more soulless ones up here than you have imagined, especially among those who might sneer at using a Manual.

Thank You for your observation. I shall of course notify the Imps in Accounting that they need to re-perform their survey. Whilst it is not normally in their purview to tread beyond the pale of rote counting, the fact that you hail from California means that the normal methods will not suffice. There are far more soulless in California (especially South of S*nt* Barbara) than our normal statistical methods understand.

But with a sleek little adapter, they could run the deluxe Soul-Powered model off an assortment of their lackeys, who will doubtless already be familiar with similar forms of service.

This is very true. In keeping with more modern technology, however, we have co-ordinated with certain large electronics vendors, and inserted the soul-draining firmware into standard ear-bud ear phones. These souls are then wirelessly transmitted to any properly activated Soul-Powered Underworld typewriter. So, as you can see, we have no need of any external adaptor on the Underworld itself, we merely need to assist the careers of young, gullible wanna-be rock-stars and glamour girls. Honestly, it's as easy as drowning kittens some days.

I just think you're missing a real marketing opportunity, here. With your sister company helping out, you could have the soulless and bloodless flocking to your gates.

I am afraid that you misapprehend, no doubt due to my inability to properly express myself. Without a physical presence and the concomitant ability to touch my clients, I find that words fail me sometimes. Pity. I wil endeavour to explain again -- some time ago, we sponsored one of our junior demons by means of an infusion of venture capital. He has been quite successful in the intervening 25 years, and we have the soulless and bloodless firmly in our grasp. And to think, without the ubitquious word processor, we could never claim so many new clients.

But, back to the task at hand. May I fill in the particulars on your *cough* Contract? Hmmm?
Sincerely,

Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Leslie in CA @ 670:

It seems that the soulless, then, cannot use the (non-adaptor-equipped) Soul-Powered model, and the bloodless and non-virginal(ly accessorized) cannot purchase your products at all.

I should think that would put rather a damper on your sales figures.

Not at all. Those without souls of their own can still employ our Manual models, although typing can becaome a trifle labourious. The bloodless we may have already acquired, and those who cast about for sacrifical virgins are serviced by our sister company, Procurors 'R' Us, and therefore contribute to the bottom-line regardless.

ethan @ 691:

I want an alhazred keyboard! Particularly because I like a keyboard that's not afraid to repeat letters, but mostly because of the sheer unspeakable horror of it.

Of course. Whatever your desire, the keyboard will respond automagically. Just prick your finger and sign here ...

Sincerely,


Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Leslie in CA @ 612


The Soul-Powered version requires no adaptors --it is entirely self-contained. Because of this feature, the Soul-Powered model is quite sought after by the lonely and faint-at-heart.

As for the Signatory to the Scroll, I am afraid that the signee must use their own blood, and furthermore, must be contained of a soul at the time of the signing. That, or have proper collateral, say a virgin just come to womanhood.


Sincerely,


Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Owlmirror @ 606:

Are you asking after the Manual, or the Soul-Powered version? Each has its peculiarities, although each model does lack certain letters, depending on the language chosen. We, after all, have no wish of involuntarily invoking the Forces of Non-Dark, or naming He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.
Prices are negotiable, and each order does come with an authentically bound scroll containing our agreement, to be signed in blood, prior to delivery.

Sincerely,


Mephistopheles
Regional Sales Manager
Underworld Typewriter Company, LLLP

Me @99
Gosh Darn It!

Delete them Expletives!

Linking is not my priemier skill!

Link in 99 should be: The Internet Speculative Fiction Database

#84, 85, 86, 96

The Series: Fxljnl
Book 1: Fgneevttre
Book 2: Erq Yvzvg Serrjnl
Book 3: Cnenqbk Nyyrl

Thanks to: The Internet Speculative Fiction Database

For All, regarding HP Timelines: I'm not flogging something that I've done, but the folks over at The Harry Potter Lexicon have produced a rather detailed timeline, including data from all seven books, the movies to date, plus various interviews and public appearances, and the two accessory books -- Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Timeline here

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