Random Plot Generator

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Advice for the Evil Overlord:

Independent midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

Advice for the Starship Captain:

I will not depart the starbase unless my complement of Marines are on board.

Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Overlord's Wicked but Beautiful Daughter):

If you fall in love with the Hero, and want him to return your affection, don't use a drug concocted by a wizened old lady living on the top of a mountain. If the hero is not blind, your natural charms will be sufficient to win him over. If he prefers some tramp of a princess, then he obviously has rotten taste; find someone better.

Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Innocent Bystander):

Evil Overlords' friendly overtures are never sincere. If he is suddenly friendly to you, answer him courteously, then skip town at the first opportunity. If he has always been friendly to you, answer him courteously and feign utter uselessness in his designs.

Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):

I will wear form-fitting clothes rather than flowing gowns: they're just as, if not more, flattering and are less likely to snag on something or catch fire at the moment of triumph or escape.

Murphy's Laws of Combat:

• The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• Every man has a scheme that will not work.
• Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
• Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Evil Overlord Plot Generator © Teresa Nielsen Hayden
Evil Overlord and Murphy's Laws of Combat lists not copyrighted by us.
PHP programming and implementation by Avram Grumer.