Random Plot Generator

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Advice for the Evil Overlord:
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
Advice for the Hero:
I will never say "This one is mine!" and engage in a one-on-one struggle with the Evil Overlord or any of his henchmen; however, I might say "This one is mine!" and stand back while my comrades, by prior arrangement, pump all available firepower into the now-distracted target.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Overlord's Accountant):
When the Hero and his allies storm the Evil Overlord's castle, hide under the Sturdy Oak Table with the other Sly Advisors until the fighting stops. If the Evil Overlord wins, it's back to business as usual; your sniveling cowardice will only stoke the Evil Overlord's feelings of superiority over you, so you will not be punished. If the Hero wins, thank the Hero for freeing you from the Evil Overlord's mind control, then show him where the Plundered Crown Jewels are kept. When nobody's looking, get the portion of the Evil Overlord's loot that you have earmarked for your retirement fund and retire.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
I will refrain from converting the Captain of the Guard to our side, as it means he will be killed while helping me to escape.
Further Evil (Advice on Ultimate Weapons/Spells):
While it may be tempting to use an Ultimate Weapon or Spell with a rare, almost impossible to exploit, Tiny Flaw to accomplish my goals, if many Penultimate Weapons or Spells with no such flaw can achieve the same effect, I will employ them instead.

Murphy's Laws of Combat:

Evil Overlord Plot Generator © Teresa Nielsen Hayden
Evil Overlord and Murphy's Laws of Combat lists not copyrighted by us.
PHP programming and implementation by Avram Grumer.