You will believe an alligator can fly....

Oh yeah: and you can have an actual hurricane hit Los Angeles without flooding half the region.

* * *
I just finished watching Sharknado ten minutes ago.

The people who created it obviously loved film making; they wanted to make movies in the worst possible way, and succeeded.

I read that as PiranhaCabernet - wine with a bite to it and a slightly fishy aroma.

Is Sharknado a good movie? Dunno. It got me to write a front-door post, while the brilliant and thoughtful Pacific Rim just got a mention in an open thread.

Sharknado, a movie based on the fact that CGI has become very inexpensive, requires that you forget everything you know about tornadoes, sharks, water, storms, helicopters, driving, breathing, propane, rappelling, school buses, wind, sun, rain, and human nature. On the other hand, the sense of wonder is strong in this one; the constant reaction is "I wonder what blatant stupidity they'll do next!"

Is it Ed-Wood-Enjoyable? No, not really. It's too polished, and has less of the single-point-of-obsession-view quality that Wood's movies had. But is it fun, particularly at home (where you can talk to the screen) with friends (who are also talking to the screen) and where both beer and popcorn are available.

(NOTE: In general, talking to the screen is a mortal sin. But in this case the Pope has granted a plenary indulgence. This is because exclamations like "Nah! Tell me they didn't just ... I don't believe it!" are involuntary.)

This is a good bad movie. As opposed to something like Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters which was just plain bad. How bad was H&G?? So bad that even Pihla Viitala stripped down to bare metal couldn't save it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raining_animals

This movie looks like it was fun all the way around; fun to come up with the concept, fun to write, fun to make, fun to be in, and fun to watch. It makes No Sense Whatever, but neither do roller coasters.

(I am looking forward to Volecano, though. CGI is way inexpensive.)

They seem to make out that Hansel and Gretel is in some sort of alternate world. If it were set in an historical world, one of the film gimmicks cannot have happened before 1922.

It's in some of the same territory as Van Helsing (which is reportedly getting the reboot treatment, less than a decade after the original). Van Helsing is nominally around 1890.

Tell you want, lets make a Frankenstein movie set in 1916, with Herr Doctor Frankenstein a few miles from Verdun, on the German side, of course. And two agents of the Deuxieme Bureau, Madeleine Dupin and Madame L'Espanaye, are inserted behind enemy lines by the French airship Republique.

Doctor Frankenstein has a problem. All the bodies he can get are damaged. But when he can assemble enough, Germany will have an unstoppable army!

Luckily, some of the frankensteinarbeiter turn out to have French components, which are aroused by the sight of Madeleine Dupin in her underwear.

They'll never make a movie like that.

(Nazi zombies were a component of the previous film by H&G:WH's director, BTW. Dead Snow.)

Oh, and to add in the shtick going on, what about "Komodo-Monsoon"? "Python-Light Rain"? "Dragon-Humidity"? ... "Orcas With A 90% Chance Of Cloud-Coverage"?

The wikipeia article lists a couple of reported incidents involving cows, although, admittedly, dead and dismembered cows.

Meanwhile, I allege:

Chollacabra: Sucking Thorns of Death!

Either the volcano unleashes angry, tunnelling, short-sighted mammals.

Or, Seattle is drowned in avocado sauce.

As is undoubtedly obvious, this movie failed my "would I spend an hour of my time to watch it" cut so drastically that I didn't pay attention to anything about it.

You are correct. The only thing that will stop LA drivers is the Ferris wheel stopping in the middle of the road. I speak with the authority of a (soon to be former) native.

Coming soon!
"Munching on Munchkins"

There was a lot of rocking and rolling topside, which didn't fit in with the loose gear just lying around on tables down below (that stuff would be on the deck). And sometimes the fishing boat had a mast and sometimes it didn't. Oh well.

Another thing I learned from this movie: If a young lady wearing a two-piece bathing suit finds herself anywhere near a chest-high movie camera she will be unable to resist the compulsion to run directly at that camera.

Suggested titles for sequel:
Dial M for Mako
CSI*-New York

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* (Crocodile Sharks Infest)

"We represent...the predator guild!"

I laughed at that, too. Talk about texting it in!

There were very many moments I had to blurt out something at the screen, despite my wife trying to concentrate on her new iPad, but one of the worst was: Oh, a couple of the sky sharks fell into a pool. I'll just dump a gallon of gasoline into the pool. Then set the pool on fire, as if I've accomplished something. And then run away as the POOL EXPLODES.

I also hated that the sharks flying around in the tornado, once shot by a handgun, died and FELL OUT OF THE SKY. As if only their fins and their determination kept them up in the air.

That sounds like a dessert of no earthly flavour.

That one is probably true. I think LA drivers wouldn't blink if that happened.

The whole opening scene on the boat had absolutely no connection to the plot at all. We are introduced to three characters who have no further role.

The bit with the bomb stopping the hurricane appeared to be a spoof on McGuiver's DIY approach. But it wasn't the silliest part of the movie. That was the bit where the hero holds a chainsaw out in front off him, dives head first into a shark and then cuts his way out of the *side* of the shark. All of which was silly enough, only he manages to (1) pick the exact shark that swallowed the female lead a few moments earlier and (2) hack his way out without chopping said female lead to pieces with said chainsaw.

The Fantasy Trip (the ’70s-vintage RPG that later evolved into GURPS) had piranhakeets — carnivorous birds that attack in swarms with their saw-toothed beaks.

The scriptwriter obviously was read far too many Grimm fairy tales as a kid.

Completely off-topic, but I keep waiting for some bright soul to work out that these would be a great source of carbon-neutral fertilizer...(well, okay, maybe not after the processing and transport, but you get what I mean). See also: Purina Salmon Chow on the hoof.

nerdycellist @49: ::falls over laughing::

Nangleator @50: I also hated that the sharks flying around in the tornado, once shot by a handgun, died and FELL OUT OF THE SKY.

::shrieks with laughter; terrifies the guinea pigs::

I saw it in Spanish, which I speak poorly, so don't know if the script was a distraction.

That would apply to almost any unwanted and now-dead critter, aka "biomass". In fact, I'd bet that's about what's been happening to any piles of invasive carp that people have already been pulling out of lakes and streams.

The problems, as usual are: (1) the carbon they're made of is from eating stuff we really didn't want eaten in the first place, and (2) The economics of harvesting "surplus" critters are different from those of exterminating invasive vermin. That is, we don't want those carp breeding to densities we can harvest for "cheap" fertilizer, we want them gone, or at least knocked down to levels where they don't cause too much damage. (If there is any such level.)