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March 13, 2003

Michael Portillo/Jeremy Paxman
Posted by Teresa at 10:53 PM *

Fanfiction. A story called Don’t Watch Newsnight, by someone writing as “Darth Ewok”. Sample:

“Oh, come now, Mr. Portillo” — Jeremy shifted slightly, showing off the nipple rings again and allowing the trouser leg to ride higher — “You can’t expect to be let off the hook for this one. Just answer yes or no… did you lie to the British public?”

Michael drew breath raggedly to answer — and choked, as Jeremy calmly picked up his pen and began playing with it, sliding those long fingers languorously along it from base to tip and back.

“I’m waiting, Mr. Portillo….”

Jeremy raised the pen to his mouth and tapped it against his teeth before licking it long and lovingly, secure in the knowledge that all the cameras were turned on the by now flushed and sweating Minister. In the silence that followed, the producer gave the signal to cut back to Jeremy…

“No answer there from a somewhat disturbed and evasive Michael Portillo, then. In other news today……”
Comments on Michael Portillo/Jeremy Paxman:
#1 ::: Andrew Brown ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 04:11 AM:

Fnurgle! Now why don't people write stuff like that about American politicians?

#2 ::: Debra Doyle ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 08:50 AM:

Because if somebody can think of it, you can find it on the net.

#3 ::: Mary Kay ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 12:41 PM:

Aieeeee. I quit reading after the sentence "This is what happens when the only tv you watch is BtVS and CNN."

The mind really truly boggles.


#4 ::: Sue Mason ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 04:47 PM:

Argh, no Mummy, make it stop!

#5 ::: Avedon ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 04:59 PM:

Teresa, I want to thank you for posting that. I just read it to my workmate and we had a good laugh. The thing is, it's exactly like watching Newsnight, and's different when you read it.

#6 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 05:55 PM:

Andrew, will Chirac/Bush do? I found it on a very frustrating webpage,, that lists some startling teamups that can't currently be read because the authors can't find a server willing to host their material.

I'd like to know what possessed someone to write slash about A.J.P. Taylor with Hugh Trevor-Roper, A.J.P. Taylor with Kenneth Clark, and an S/M scene involving Wittgenstein and Popper. Not to mention the one taking place in an alternate universe in which Bush, Blair, Chirac and Saddam are all new girls at a boarding school.

#7 ::: Mary Kay ::: (view all by) ::: March 14, 2003, 09:16 PM:

An S/M scene involved Wittgenstien and Popper. Oh dear. And I was freaked by West Wing slash. I really am conventional aren't ?

Well, sometimes.


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