July 4, 2012
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 01:02 AM * 7 comments
Q. What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
A. The Ducklaration of Independence.
Q. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
A. Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer.
Q. What did the American flag say to the British flag?
A. Nothing. It just waved.
Q. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
A. Because his horse was too heavy to carry.
Q. Why did King George think the Declaration of Independence was a joke?
A. It was written in Punsylvania.
Q. Why did George Washington chop down a cherry tree with his hatchet?
A. The chainsaw hadn’t been invented.
Q. Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
A. Yes, between the third and the fifth.
Q. Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
An English friend once told me that they called it "Thanksgiving".
Best 4th of July I ever spent was in England in 1976. Fireworks, a concert on Hampstead Heath, and the British people around me sort of pleased about the whole thing. As one woman said to me when she realized (because I opened my mouth and said something) that I was American, "Well, that worked out rather nicely, didn't it?"
Benedict Arnold, aka the Bad Guy in the whole affair, was an ancestor of my wife who lost a foot in my hometown of Quebec City the decade before. Benny did, not my wife.
Q. Who had feathers, a flat bill, and tried to turn over West Point to the British?
A. Beneduck Arnold.
4
And his father was known for his drinking. (Benny should have a connection to Dysfunctional Family Day.)
Gladly, the cross-eyed bear, has a brother - Hardly, a man...
--Dave, the eighteenth of April after inflation is the fourth of July, right?
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