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So…. tonight, while clearing the table after supper, Doyle said, “If it weren’t for the cat we could leave the cheese out.”
Alex (our younger son) said, “If it weren’t for the cat, the funeral would have been open casket.”
Doyle said, “If it weren’t for the cat, we would never have known the bishop wears a toupee.”
“If it weren’t for the cat I would have had the whiskey all to myself.”
“If it weren’t for the cat no one would have heard of Schrodinger.”
“If it weren’t for the cat the noise would have had no earthly explanation.”
If it weren't for the cat, the water pitcher would not have just been broken.
For want of a cat, the cheese was left out.
If it weren't for the cat, we wouldn't need to buy mousetraps.
I would have pulled it off, if it hadn't been for these kids and their meddling cat!
If it weren't for the cat, we could sleep with the bedroom door open.
If it weren't for the cat, nobody would come back the very next day.
If it weren’t for the cat, nobody would have given a mouse some cheese.
@4
If it weren't for the cat, I could sleep with the door closed.
If it weren't for the cat, I could sleep.
They're right--it was the cat.
If it weren't for the cat, the violin would be silent.
If it weren't for the cats, I'd be extremely confused about all this fecal matter on the floor.
If it weren't for the cats, I could probably get away with sweeping once a week.
(We really did have to buy mousetraps because of the cat(s). The house was well-enough closed that that was the only way the mice could get in. The cats would get bored and voila! Mouse in the house, loose.)
If it weren't for the cat, the dead horse would go unflogged.
If it weren't for the cat the Age of Miracles would be over.
If it weren't for the cat, we would still be living in Italy.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't have a pierced nipple.
If it weren't for the cats, my scratching posts and catnip mice would be in much better condition.
If it weren't for the cat, there'd be enough room to store the gamelan.
Which wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the cat. Shortbread cookies, gentlegnomes?
If it weren't for the cat, we'd own an alarm clock.
If it weren't for the cat, the butter would be soft.
If it weren't for the deaf white cat, Karen wouldn't live in this neighborhood.
If it weren't for the cat, my father wouldn't have survived infancy. At least, he thought so.
If it weren't for the cat, we wouldn't have had kittens.
There are stories behind each of those, and only the last is obvious....
If it weren't for the cat, I would have posted a reference to the Gamelan before Edmund Schweppe @20 beat me to it.
If it weren't for the cat, Tinkerbell would still be.
If it weren't for the cat, the courier wouldn't have let her sign for it.
If it weren't for the cat, all your base are belong to us.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't be up so early.
If it weren't for the cat, the mice would play the gamelan.
And I wouldn't be up so early if it weren't for the mice playing the gamelan.
Because we haven't got a cat.
When I previewed my last post, and then when I posted it, I got this message:
Got an error: Connection error: Too many connections.
I don't know what it means. I post this for the information of any interested persons, or gnomes.
The same is happening with this message.
If it weren't for the cat, what would become of the grin?
If it weren't for the cats, it would just be raining dogs.
If it weren't for the cat, discipline on pirate ships would be much worse.
If it weren't for the qat, I'd drink an awful lot more coffee.
If it weren't for the cat, I would be able to visit my friends without taking drugs.
If it weren't for the cat, we'd be using "lean burn" petrol engines.
If it weren't for the Cat, we wouldn't have the road down the mountain. (We're not Deere people.)
If it weren't for the cat, the correct poster name would have been used.
If it weren't for the cat, I could not have cheezburger.
If it weren't for the cat, Dibble would be Chief by now.
if it weren't for the Cat the Hat would be empty.
If it weren't for the cat, I would have been a soprano this week.
If it wasn't for the cat, a king-sized bed would provide plenty of sleeping room for two people.*
*but we wouldn't be without her. And we'd prefer it if I was writing "if it wasn't for the cats", even though there was even less room for humans when we were a proper two-humans-two-cats household.
...for posting an incredibly bloated Google images URL.
Would their lownesses care for some double chocolate stout?
If it weren't for the cat there wouldn't be a full glass of water on the kitchen floor
If it weren't for the cat, tykewriter wouldn't have gotten a connection error: Too many connections.
If it weren't for the cat, all we'd have would be sodomy and rum.
If it weren't for the cat Garfield would be a much better comic.
If it weren't for the cat, most of my clothes would actually be a uniform color (rather than tabby-speckled).
If it weren't for the cat, there'd be no "The Cat Came Back" animation short from Canada's National Film Board.
If it weren't for the cat, I could have had an avocado.
If it weren't for the cat, my strings would stay separated.
If it weren't for the cat, a few more of the Nostromo's crew might have made it.
If it weren't for the cat, we wouldn't have toxoplasmosis.
If it weren't for the cats, we'd have to read Neruda ourselves.
Dan murmured, " 'The Old Man and The Sea' would have been published sooner."
If it weren't for the cat, worldwide lap temperatures would be lower, which would mean higher worldwide sperm production, which would mean higher incidence of pregnancy, a larger world population, greater stress on resources... Peak Oil and Peak Food would have been passed by now, and the world would look more like the more speculative of Jean-Claude Van Damme's movies.
Good kitty!
If it weren't for the cat, Fievel wouldn't have gone West.
If it weren't for Cat, Salvo Montalbano wouldn't be able to read a suspect's computer files.
If it weren't for the cat, the actress wouldn't have had anything to say to the bishop.
If it weren't for the cat, my dog wouldn't have danced.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
If it weren't for the cat, "Whatever" would still be known as just a pronoun.
If it weren't for the cat, the baby goats would sleep through the night.
If it weren't for the cat, there'd be no white hairs on my trousers.
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the hamster
that was in
the tank
and which
you were probably
keeping
as a pet
Forgive me
he was delicious
so meaty
and so slow
Michael Pullmann @61: Wasn't that a horse?
If it weren't for the cat, it would only be an astrophe. Which is something entirely different.
If it weren't for the cat, the dog wouldn't have smashed a glass trying to reach her leftover food on the countertop, and I wouldn't have had to go outside in the frost looking for the dustpan and brush.
If it weren't for the cat, she wouldn't have swallowed the dog.
If it weren't for the cat, it would have been for you.
If it weren't for the cat the Bremen Town Musicians would have lacked a second soprano.
If it weren't for the cat, Curiosity wouldn't be standing trial for murder.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't have scars on my arms from pulling her out of the fish tank . . .
If it weren't for the cat, the piano wouldn't play without humans.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't get any calls at all.
If it weren't for the cat, we'd divide by seven, not six.
If it weren't for the cat, all those mice would still be cluttering up Purgatory.
If it weren't for the cat, this messalkge woqwuld be t807yped better.
If it weren't for the cat I wouldn't have tripped.
If it weren't for the cat, 'egory' would be a word.
Teresa: I always wondered why Hell was full of mice. Now I know.
If it weren't for the cat, "Priest of Bastet" would have been a much higher-risk job.
If it weren't for the cat, Europeans would still be using ferrets (who are comparatively stinky) to control rodents.
(Xopher, you may not be getting into the proper spirit for this.)
If it weren't for the cat, we never would have found the third man.
Because for that is what I am mewing.
Allan Beatty (83): HA! I love it.
If it weren't for the cat, we'd live in a dog-eat-dog world, as the philosophical basis for proper behavior would be the Egorical Imperative.
If it weren't for the cat, I would have had cereal for breakfast.
If it weren't for the cat, my mother wouldn't have had to toss a nearly-new set of slip-ons.
It if weren't for the cat, I'd be alone and unhappy instead of paired and happy.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't have to fight for the computer chair.
If it weren't for the cat(1), Unix shell scripts would be far less useful.
If it wasn't for the cat, I wouldn't have a chance to stroke pussy in public.
[insert baffled feline look]
If it weren't for the (newly-moved-in) cat, I'd have a lot more room when I sleep.
If it weren't for the cat, Jim would have had to scratch out a post on his own.
If it weren't for the cat, there wouldn't be mugs of water on my desk and the bathroom windowsill, and the top drawer of my dest wouldn't be permanently open and furnished with a comfortable cushion.
If it weren't for the cats, no-one would have remembered Queen Berúthiel.
If it weren't for the cat, the parakeet would never have learned to meow.
If it weren't for the cat, I would have woken up later this morning.
No, I didn't see possible spam. I just didn't catch the header till too late. Sorry.
If it weren't for the cat, the hashtag #morningCATface would not exist.
If it weren't for the cat, my internet would be wireless.
If it weren't for the CAT, the Xerox 860 wouldn't have been the DWP it was.
Here, o Gnomes, I have cookies.
[Fragano, you're getting gnomed for three spaces in a row. Check your name; I think they may be up there somewhere. -- Cario Borisi, Duty Gnome]
If it weren’t for the cat,
There would have been mice,
To have eaten the malt all seasoned with spice
That Jack had prepared—and not in a trice,
For of Belgian-ale brewing--which he thought would be nice,
And laid in the house that Jack built.
If it weren't for the cat, there would be no reason to wonder when it will come back.
If it weren't for the cats, HPL would not have visited Ulthar.
if it weren't for the cat, the cheese would be left out
if it weren't for the cheese being left in, the mice wouldn't go hungry
if it weren't for the mice going hungry, the rats wouldn't have climbed through the walls
if it weren't for the rats in the walls Renfield wouldn't have enough blood
if it weren't for Renfield having enough blood the vampires wouldn't have come to stay
if it weren't for the vampires coming to stay, the cat wouldn't have gone off
if it weren't for the cat having gone off, the cheese would be left in.
If it weren't for the cats, I'd be snuggling with inappropriate bedmates.
If it weren't for the cats, I'd know that the puddle at the door was melted snow ...
If it weren't for the cat, Old Mr. Johnson wouldn't have troubles of his own.
If it weren't for the cat(s), the little Christmas tree might have stayed upright with all the little ornaments still on it.
If it weren't for the cat, I would have slept through the night without getting too warm in bed.
If it weren't for the cat we could touch everything without a glove.
If it weren't for the cat, the owl would have remained a bachelor.
If it weren't for the cat, Fred would win the fight.
If it weren't for the cat, the kettle would have been put on first.
If it weren't for the cat(s) paper bags and cardboard boxes would be recycled.
If it weren't for the cat, what would man do?
If it weren't for the cat, they'd be free by now.
If it weren't for the cat, nobody would know you were a dog. On the Internets.
If it weren't for the cat, John Scalzi would have taped bacon to an armadillo.
TomB @ 117: I am mystified by the prison-break cat :
Why did the cat move with things strapped around its body? My cats have all collapsed when a sock (or similar) is tied loosely around them. They usually manage to stagger if something is just draped over them.
OK, we'll assume that with extensive training, the cat would move with things strapped around it. Having gone to that effort, why didn't they add a top layer of something that looked like cat fur?
janetl @120: Yes. If it weren't for the cat, we would not be mystified.
If it weren't for the cat, a dioptric would not involve mirrors.
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't be king. (But nobody noticed.)
If it weren't for the cat, I'd have fewer scars. (Wrong kind of cat?)
If it weren't for the cat AND the cheese, "She, sir." would never have become a meme.
--Dave, and the course of future comedy would have been very different
If it weren't for the cat, I wouldn't have all these calico and gingham shreds messing up the floor.
If it weren't for the cat, the king would have to look at himself.
If it weren't for the cat, the wheelie-bin would have been empty.
I have to ask: was that due to kitty litter etc. going into the wheelie-bin, or because there was a cat in the bin???
A woman in Coventry was caught on CCTV throwing her neighbour's cat into a wheelie-bin. The story got quite a bit of publicity at the time, probably more so in the UK.
Oh yes, I do remember that one (I'm in the UK). Just failed to catch the reference, for some reason.
(Also, about 30% of what goes into our rubbish bin, as opposed to the recyling or compost bin, is kitty litter/kitty poop).
If it weren't for the cat(s), I wouldn't be digging out my upholstery and slipcovering books.
If it weren't for the cat, we wouldn't be seeing a veterinary oncologist tomorrow (and might not even know such a specialty exists).
Janet Brennan Croft #131: Ouch.
I have to say, though, my cat never did as much damage as my dog has (though the dog is more targeted -- always the bedclothes). And both of them together haven't done as much damage as my rabbit did!
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