Random Plot Generator

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Advice for the Evil Overlord:
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
Before letting crewmembers take leave on a planet, I will ensure that they are welcome and that its government recognizes concepts like Rule of Law, Trial by Jury, Presumption of Innocence, and so forth. I will also check out the local laws so that none of my crew ends up on death row for scratching his nose in public or some other stupid thing.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
The Evil Overlord will not risk his life to save yours. Why risk yours for his?
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Innocent Bystander):
Stay away from all buildings or natural features of the landscape that resemble skulls, fists, fanged mouths, etc.
Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):
If I must enlist the powers of the netherworlds I will first bone up on contract law. My own soul, mind, and/or (especially) body will never be negotiable.

Murphy's Laws of Combat:

Evil Overlord Plot Generator © Teresa Nielsen Hayden
Evil Overlord and Murphy's Laws of Combat lists not copyrighted by us.
PHP programming and implementation by Avram Grumer.