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January 31, 2009

Zombies On My Shoulder
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 12:23 PM * 127 comments

Zombies in the graveyard make me fearful,
Zombies ’round the farmhouse make me sigh
Zombies munching mommy make me angry
Zombies in the mall can make me die.
If I had a gun that I could give you
I’d give to you a gun that’s just like mine
If I had a torch that I could light for you
I’d light that torch so you could see it shine.

Zombies in the graveyard make me fearful,
Zombies ’round the farmhouse make me sigh
Zombies munching mommy make me angry
Zombies in the mall can make me die.
If I had a car that I could drive for you
I’d weld on armor and a big plow blade
And if I saw you bitten by a zombie
I’d cut your fucking head off with a spade.

Zombies in the graveyard make me fearful,
Zombies ’round the farmhouse make me sigh
Zombies munching mommy make me angry
Zombies in the mall can make me die.

Zombies almost always make me fearful, mmmmmmm….
Zombies always want to make me die….

Comments on Zombies On My Shoulder:
#1 ::: Bryan ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 12:39 PM:

A tank comes driving out of a war torn landscape, explosions can be heard in the distance. The hatch pops open and a the claymation tank driver puts his head up:

Well Hello folks, its me, Commando Gary.
Hah ha, I guess you know what time of year it is. That's right, ZombiePocalypse!
And pretty soon you'll be getting a visit from everyone's favorite brain-chewer, Zombie Phil Dick.
But did you ever ask yourself where Zombie Phil Dick came from, and how he got his powers?

Commando Gary shines his flashlight upwards in his face to cast an eerie shadow.

Well that's a story worth telling, so go get yourselves a cup of warm cocoa and a baseball bat. And sit in the dark by the door while I tell it.

#2 ::: ADM ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 12:52 PM:

*applauds*

Vampires are coming to be fed
'Cos of the silly invitation that you gave
welcoming them in, oh,
Vampires are going to be fed, on your family

But Van Helsing, you know,
The guy who hunts the vampires
He'll defeat them
With stakes and holy water he'll be there to meet them

Vampires were coming to be fed
'Cos of the silly invitation that you gave,
they're coming from the grave, but
now they're all dusty, not so blood-lusty
Van Helsing won
Stop yer worrying, son.


(sorry. haven't had caffeine yet)

#3 ::: handslive ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:04 PM:

Zombies
Want to nibble on my mind
Rotting, brain devouring zombies
That's what we'll become

Scattered bodies
And the truck we left behind
Promises we made each other
If that's what we become

Can it be that all the zombies hemmed us in?
Or can we make the house and get inside?
If we had the chance to barricade within?
Tell me, would we? Could we?

Zombies are implacable but still
I raise the hatchet and dismember
a writhing arm there on the sill
Overwhelming us together
You know it's now or never
I struggle to remember
What you'll become
What you'll become

#4 ::: Charlie Stross ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:09 PM:

Er ... *applause*, but ... what's the original meant to be?

#5 ::: Jeff Hentosz ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:12 PM:

Charlie: "Sunshine" by John Denver. Far out!

#6 ::: skzb ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:18 PM:

It is a bittersweet tapestry of life, itself.

#7 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:42 PM:

Jim, what did you have for breakfast today?

On the snowbank, red
a floe of blood and brains.
Must be Zombie time again.

#9 ::: ADM ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 01:53 PM:

Linkmeister @8

nice!

#10 ::: Laramie Sasseville ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 02:04 PM:

Desmond robbed a barrow in the unclean place;
Molog was awakened by his fuss.
Molog said to Desmond, "boy I'll eat your face,
and you'll become a zombie just like us!"

Oh my God, oh gosh darn, life goes on - Aaagghh!
Oh my how the life goes on....

#11 ::: D. Potter ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 02:06 PM:

Great. Now I'm hearing that in John Denver's voice. Or should I say, Zombie John Denver's voice.

Thanks.

More brains-- Coffee, I mean. Coffee.

#12 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 02:19 PM:

Almost heaven, Transylvania
East Carpatians,
Cold Prahova river.
I lived long there
Lurking in the trees
Hunting in the mountains
Drifting on the breeze.

Box of earth, be my home
Be the place I belong
Transylvania brought to London,
Box of earth, be my home.

All my powers root themselves there
Superstitious peasants live in terror
Mountain refuge, under moonless sky,
Salty taste of warm blood
Wolf-pack in full cry.

Box of earth, be my home
Be the place I belong
Transylvania brought to London,
Box of earth, be my home.

I hear its voice
'Cross the salty seas it calls me
Scent of earth reminds me of my castle far away
And flying in the dark I get the feeling
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Box of earth, be my home
Be the place I belong
Transylvania brought to London,
Box of earth, be my home.

#13 ::: Lila ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 02:43 PM:

You spill from your coffins
Like a flock of dark ravens
Like a mist in the moonlight,
Like a howl on the wind,
Like a form from the nightmare
Of a sleep-deprived watchman,
You spill from your coffins,
You're hunting again!

Come, let me stake you,
Let me spray you with garlic,
Let me turn you with crosses,
Let me light you on fire!
Let me fin'lly behead you,
Bury you at a crossroads;
After I stake you,
Won't hunt me again!

#14 ::: zathrun in sunnydale ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 02:46 PM:

Isn't it fair?
Aren't I a lich?
Me chasing you on the ground,
Send me your brains.

It'll be like a kiss,
Can you stop with the fear?
I will nibble your head--
Cheeks, tongue and ear,
Send me your brains.
Send me your brains.

Just when I finished smashing a door,
Making an entrance where there wasn't before
Smelling the livemeat scent that is yours,
Sure I'd eat brains,
Your body's not there.

Why do you scream?
There's no one to hear.
I thought I'd said what I want:
Your brains, my dear.
Send me your brains,
Send me your brains.

Ain't life a bitch?
That I'm now back
When you thought you had lost me:
I survived your attack.
Don't you want brains?
You'll want to eat brains
This time next year.

#15 ::: Patrick Connors ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 04:02 PM:

I am at a filk con in Seattle RIGHT NOW. These will be sung - I already perform Abi's Zombies On A Jet Plane locally. Braaains!

There's a songwriting contest at this convention in which the following seven words were drawn at random from a basket full of submitted words and phrases:
diatomaceous
random
meretricious
melon
broccoli
black hole
licky (yeah, not technically a word)

And the idea is to use them in a song, to be presented tomorrow.

I wrote a song about Agatha Heterodyne, my wife wrote one about Adrian Monk. Just to show off, I used the words twice: once in the order shown above, the second time in reverse.

I'll post mine sometime after the performance phase of the event.

#16 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 04:46 PM:

No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit
In di devilish yard down in Arkham.
Oba-obaserving the ypocrites
As we get ready the people we eat,
Good friends we have, good friends we have lost
Along the way.
In this grim future you can't forget the past
So drink your tears I say.

No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit
In the devilish yard down in Arkham.
And then Howie would make the eldritch light,
And it was liches burnin through the night.
Then we would cook brain porridge, yeah,
Of which I'll share with you.
Backward feet my only carriage,
So I've got to push through
But while you're gone I mean,
Every little thing, gonna be dark light,
Every little thing, gonna be dark light,
Every little thing, gonna be dark light,

No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry,
No jumbie, nuh cry.

#17 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:02 PM:

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
My bro's dead
He smells, pew!

#18 ::: Pendrift ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:05 PM:

/delurk

Perhaps sleep is an amusement park
With horror houses filled
And the ghouls and creepy crawlies
in fearmongering are skilled
And if the nightmares ride across
the prairies of your mind
The memory of sleep will be unkind.

Oh sleep to some is like a balm
to some a gaping hole
For some a way of living
For some, losing control
And some say sleep with Valium comes
And some say with a beer
And some say sleep does not exist
And some say "Once a year"

Perhaps sleep is like a garbage dump
With treasures in the dross
Or a graveyard where you stand alone
to contemplate your loss
If you should join the ranks of
the undead forevermore
The memories of sleep you will abhor

(or "adore")

/end delurk

#19 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:19 PM:

I know you stand in line
Until you think you've found the time
To steal my brains from me
And if we go some place to dance
I know that there's a chance
They won't be leaving with me.

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then you go and spoil it all
By saying something creepy
Like “I'll eat you.”

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old thighs
You ate the night before
And though it's just a nosh to you
I like them too
And they're not for a carnivore.

I practice every day to find some cleaver thrusts to stay
Your constant nibbling on me
But then you think you'll wait until the evening gets late
And you're alone with me.

So dark the night
Your growling fills my head
Your claws get red
And then you start to chew
And then you go and end it all
By making good on promising
“I'll eat you.”

#20 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:20 PM:

I wonder whether vampires can come into your house if they were members of a group you sent an e-vite to, for a party? Just how personal does the invitation have to be?

#21 ::: ADM ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:27 PM:

My guess is that e-vites count. Isn't there an episode of BtVS where a blanket invitation creates vampire havoc?

#22 ::: Soon Lee ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 05:51 PM:

Needs more BRRAIINNNSSS!!!

#23 ::: Nathaniel ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 06:04 PM:

Zombies in the basement, chewing on the residents
We're on the pavement, running from the government
Man in the lab coat, wild-eyed, pissed off
Says we mixed a bad batch, formula was just off
Look out kid, it's something we did
God knows how we'll get any funding now
We better make sure we get away from zombies and from g-men
Or we'll be locked behind bars, or maybe just get eaten.

#24 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 06:29 PM:

Serge@17

May I suggest a small emendation?

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
My brother is dead
That's dinner for two!

#25 ::: xeger ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 06:40 PM:

snow falling
like parts from zombies
clear the walk

#26 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 08:15 PM:

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the brains
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for midnight snacks.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so slimy
and so cold.

#27 ::: Bruce Arthurs ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 09:38 PM:

I have to admit I did not recognize Jim's original as a parody of a John Denver song.

When I read the lyrics, though, the voice in my head performing them was... Leonard Cohen.

I think this works well. Frighteningly well.

#28 ::: Jeremy Preacher ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 09:48 PM:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeivnFBeYTY&feature=related

Maddow on... zombies.

#30 ::: Sharon M ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 10:10 PM:

There's a problem in my hometown, they said on the tv.
Zombies are on the highway, and heading straight for me.
I run to my four wheeler, trusty rifle in the rack;
I'm heading for the safe zone, and I'm not looking back.

They're closer than the news said, already on my block.
The neighbors look real funny, and my truck's doors don't lock.
I'm driving on the lawns now, then through the Miller's hedge,
I pull out of the cul-de-sac, but man am I on edge.

It's hard to drive through town now, zombies are everywhere.
Most lurching and some stumbling, grabbing people by their hair,
I can make the safe zone easy, if I take a longer route,
And if I get real lucky maybe I won't have to shoot.

Oh, I can hear them coming, their groaning and their screams.
The shells were on the table, so the rifle's dead to me.
I know it's my own stupid fault that I'm at such a pass,
I forgot half a tank is empty, and now I'm out of gas.


#31 ::: Ab_Normal ::: (view all by) ::: January 31, 2009, 10:47 PM:

delurking to report that I just laughed up a lung... thanks!

#33 ::: Laura from Faraway ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 01:31 AM:

TEVYE: How did this zombie plague get started? I'll tell you: I don't know. But it's a zombipocalyse!

FATHERS:
Passed by the bite of resurrected victims
Feeding on the living, raising up the dead,
Spreading at night from soulless corp’rate labs,
It propagates its gibb’ring moan.
A virus, a virus,
Woke the dead.

MOTHERS:
Radiation from a freakish solar flare; a comet’s tail; a cell phone tower
Glowing gas or atom bombs or neon glare,
(Which maybe caused a virus to mutate).
A radiance, a radiance… woke the dead.

SONS:
They saved the proletariat
By choking their free will.
The bourgeois made equal by their own… consumers.
The Commies, the Commies… woke the dead.

DAUGHTERS:
Daughter: And who did Barzai see
All on the mountaintop? Awakened for a midnight snack,
And never filling…op.
Hungry gods, hungry gods,
woke the dead.

A virus (a radiance...) (the Commies...) (hungry gods...) (a griot...) (Megadeth...) (the guv'mint...)

Woke the dead!

(Your pardon. This sprung into my head unbidden, and I had to get it OUT, even if it meant rudely de-lurking. The tune, it must be noted, is "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof. There are no original ideas, and I must assume it's been done before. Still...)

#34 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 01:50 AM:

He's undead, Jim. You chop off his head and I'll get his brains.

#35 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 01:50 AM:

Laura @ #32, to quote a character in "Ice Station Zebra,"* "If you go through life saying 'Hallo' in this fashion, mate, you'll never want for friends."

*No, I don't know why that stuck in my head. He'd just been found in what was left of the station and one of the rescuers had given him a drink of brandy.

#36 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 01:52 AM:

Hey, Bruce, I just got the Eva Cassidy CD with "Who Knows Where the Time Goes" on it, and I concur with you. It's at least the equal of Judy Collins' version, and perhaps better.

#37 ::: j h woodyatt ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 02:41 AM:

The doors are pummeled by undead flesh
In a lonely plaza shoeless feet
Pad across shards of broken glass
Zombies fill the darkened subways

Fantastic becomes the evening sound
Agents of the Fort pursue
Absconding plague-carriers through
The narrow alleys of suburban towns

Private rites of unmade faith send
The final girl to shaken sleep
All the philosophers keep
A hidden extra bullet

Cyborganic Socrates may
extol the Ancient wisdom
But the muscle-headed gun freaks
Steal the drugs and ammunition

The Presidential suite is warm
While an unimportant analyst
Posts NONE OF US WILL SURVIVE
On the all-hands email group

Unendowed with means or mercy
Little rats with yellow teeth
Seething in the fetid nests
Eye each corpse-littered city

Altogether elsewhere, teeming
Societies of cephalopods
Lay their eggs in flashing colors
Inscrutable and cold


w/ apologies to WHA.

#38 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 02:59 AM:

There's a crowd of undead near the K-Mart,
There's a crowd of undead near the K-Mart,
The brains are piled high on the food court's front aisle,
And the body parts lie in a bloody red pile.

Chorus:
Oh how the violence is spreading,
Oh how the deaths are in vain,
I've got a horrible feeling,
Zombies will eat up my brain!

Repeat chorus

All the zombies are standing like statues,
All the zombies are standing like statues,
They'd not turn around if I were to go by,
Were I to stop moving I'd be a brain pie.

Repeat chorus

All the sounds of the dying are horrid,
All the sounds of the dying are horrid,
The breeze carries screams of a horrible sort
as the faces of victims of zombies contort.

Repeat chorus

#39 ::: Andy Brazil ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 03:01 AM:

Across the evening sky, all the vamps are flying
how can they know that it's time to rise?
Beneath the winter dawn, I will still be standing
I have no thought of death

For who knows where the ghouls lurk
who knows where the ghouls lurk

sad deserted town, full of zombies prowling
Ah but then you know, that it's time for brains
But I will still be standin', have no thought of fleein'
I do not cut and run

For who knows where the ghouls lurk
who knows where the ghouls lurk

I am all alone, for my love is eaten
And it won't be long, till I'm eaten too
So come the storms of zombies, and the the vamps at night again
I have no fear of them

For who knows where the ghouls lurk?
And who knows how to kill them?

(Sorry, it had to be done)

#40 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 03:15 AM:

I was standing
All alone against undead outside
You were searching
For a place to hide

Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When they're hungry...axes will keep us alive

Don't you worry
Sometimes you've just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I've found you
There's no more emptiness inside
When they're hungry...shotguns will keep us alive

I would kill for you
Burn a zombie army
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

I was standing
All alone against the undead outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When they're hungry...saws will keep us alive
When they're hungry...bombs will keep us alive
When they're hungry...knives will keep us alive

#41 ::: Michael I ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 07:20 AM:

ADM@20

In the Angel episode "Heartthrob" (Season 3, Episode 1), it is suggested that a flyer for the party that invited "everyone" allowed the vampires to enter.

Gunn (looking at flyer): So much for inviting everyone.

#42 ::: David Hodson ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 08:09 AM:

Ten thousand more zombies coming
We're finally on our own.
We made Indiana but they're
All dead in Ohio.

#43 ::: Sylvia ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 09:08 AM:

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How cadavers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had the chance
I could make those bodies dance
and maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But cemeteries made me shiver
After years as their caregiver
Open graves abounded
Living dead expounded

I can't remember if I cried
when I saw Frankenstein and his bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the zombies arrived...

#44 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 09:43 AM:

Speaking of Unspeakable Horror, how about Sarah Brightman in "I lost my heart to a starship trooper"?

#45 ::: cgeye ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 01:19 PM:

The first song, incidentally, can be roughly sung to "I Love Paris".

And it's scary how many of these songs I can recognize without reference to the originals... unless I was wrong about the Jobim and R/H.

#46 ::: KeithS ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 02:43 PM:

Serge @ 43:

If you ignore the overactive fog machines, stupid amounts of glitter and confetti, the silly harnesses on the men, the banal lyrics, and the intentionally wooden acting, some of the dancing is actually quite good.

To all:

Wow. So much brilliant song and verse. The best I can do is something like:

Violets are blue.
Roses are red.
I'm eating your brains,
because I'm dead.

#47 ::: John D. Berry ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 02:52 PM:

“Zombies ‘round the farmhouse make me sigh”

Ahem. Apostrophe alert: you've got a single open quotation mark instead of a flying comma at the beginning of “round.” If Making Light can't keep this straight, what hope for civilization?

– Type Right

#48 ::: cgeye ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 03:03 PM:

And ain't 'Memories' bad enough?

#49 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 04:04 PM:

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone
Suzanne, the zombie bite put an end to you
I went down to the graveyard, you were lurching along
I just don't know what I should do with you.

I've tried fire and I've tried chains
I've tried starving you, but the moaning never ends
I've had lonely times when you've frightened all my friends
But I always know that you're craving my brains.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me to make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day.
My bite wound is aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way.

I've tried fire and I've tried chains
I've tried feeding you, but the hunger never ends
I've had lonely times since I'm shunned by all my friends
But I always know that you're craving my brains.

Been walking my mind in a fever dream with my back up against the wall
Lord knows when the others come they'll be tearing me to bits
There's no more time for the might have beens, there's no more time at all
The door is breaking in and I'm scared out of my wits.

Oh, I've tried fire and I've tried chains
I've tried holding you, but the biting never ends
I've had lonely times since you've eaten all my friends
But I always knew you'd get me, baby, try to eat my brains
Thought you'd end up eating all my brains
There's just a few more seconds till you get me down, now
Thought I'd save you, thought I'd win with fire and chains, now

#50 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 04:14 PM:

If I only had a brain,
A heart,
Da noive!

#51 ::: Caroline ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 04:35 PM:

Because I couldn't get this earworm out of my head this morning, for some unknown reason:

I was lurchin' (lurchin') down a one way street
I was hopin' (hopin') for some brains to eat
I was waitin' for the few survivors down the line
(They've gone so long)
What can I do?
(Where could they be?) No no no,
Don't know what I'm gonna do,
I've got to be eating you.

You better slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
Don't keep on runnin', don't keep me searchin'.
Slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
So sad if that's the way it's over.

I was lurchin' (lurchin') many days gone by.
I was thinkin' (thinkin') about these hungry nights.
It's social breakdown all around
(They've gone so long)
What can I do?
(Where could they be?) No no no,
Don't know what I'm gonna do,
I've got to be eating you.

You better slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
Don't keep on runnin', don't keep me searchin'.
Slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
So sad if that's the way it's over.

I've been lurkin' (lurkin') on a dead end street
I've been bitin' (bitin') everybody I meet
Insufficient brain-meats everywhere
(They've gone so long)
What can I do?
(Where could they be?) No no no,
Don't know what I'm gonna do,
I've got to be eating you.

You better slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
Don't keep on runnin', don't keep me searchin'.
Slow down, sweet tastin' woman,
So sad if that's the way it's over.

#52 ::: Allan Beatty ::: (view all by) ::: February 01, 2009, 07:44 PM:

Amazing brains, how sweet the feel
That goes right to my head.
I once did work but now do steal;
Was live, but now undead.

#53 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 02:21 AM:

#46: Ahem. Apostrophe alert: you've got a single open quotation mark instead of a flying comma at the beginning of “round.” If Making Light can't keep this straight, what hope for civilization?

Moveable Type did that, not me. It was a straight apostrophe when I put it there; it's still a straight apostrophe right now when I look at it on the "Entries" screen.

#54 ::: Bill ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 03:09 AM:

Ursula in #25, you are a very scary person :-) And there's another filk convention in a month, here in Silicon Valley.

There was a Pogo strip where Pogo started out singing "Moonshine in my tummy makes me rummy", and did the right thing by not filling in the rest, which was left as an easy exercise for the reader.

#55 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 05:14 AM:

I read 26 and the logical Leonard Cohen reference is...

Well, I came across an ancient book
Opened it up and I took a look -
You don't know what the writing means, now do you?
It's written in unsettling runes
As carved on Cyclopean tombs
The secret name of the sleeping one
Cthulhu,
It's Cthulhu,
It's Cthulhu,
It's Cthulhu,
It's Cthu-u-lhu.

I didn't act like a sane adult
I took the book and I joined the cult
I acted normal, thinking I could fool you
But the dreams overpowered my fragile mind
Now I wait the extinction of humankind
And the rise of my dark master
Great Cthulhu!
(chorus)

You did your best to beat it back
To shine a light into the black
But you don't believe you've really won, now do you?
Escape is futile, life is brief
Not even death will bring relief
Ph'nglu Wagh'nagl fthagn akh
Cthulhu!
(chorus)

#56 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 09:19 AM:

I don't want to be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for
I don't wanna be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for

I don't want to be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for
I don't wanna be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for

Z-O-M-B! everyones accusing me
Z-O-M-B everyones accusing me

I don't want to be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for
I don't wanna be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for

I don't want to be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for
I don't wanna be hungry no more
I just found some brains that I could go for

Z-O-M-B! everyones accusing me
Z-O-M-B everyones accusing me

Gabba Gabba
We will eat you
We will eat you
One of us
One of us

#57 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 09:28 AM:

There's no stoppin' the zombies from hoppin'
You gotta keep it stompy
For all the hoppin' zombies.

Zombie! Zombie!

I'm gonna go for a whirl with my zombie girl
My feet won't stop
Doin' the Zombie Hop

Zombie! Zombie!

1-2-3-4
Zombies wanna hop some more
4-5-6-7
All good zombies go to heaven

There's no stoppin' the zombies from hoppin'
You gotta keep it stompy
For all the hoppin' zombies.

Zombie! Zombie!

I'm gonna go for a whirl with my zombie girl
My feet won't stop
Doin' the Zombie Hop

Zombie! Zombie!

1-2-3-4
Zombies wanna hop some more
4-5-6-7
All good zombies go to heaven

#58 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 09:28 AM:

Wolf Baginski, Sergeant of the Rain Island Army Union Landing Force, pressed last his five rounds from charger clip to the magazine of his Mouser rifle. "I think that used to be Corporal Red Deer," he remarked.

"Damn," said Alberto. "He owed me five bucks. And I'm on my last clip." He crouched and glanced around the corner of the longhouse. "No sign of anything."

Wolf glanced back at the pier. "They'll come running--well, shambling--when the Thunderbird starts up."

"Yeah, and Helen will break all the rules."

"She knows when to be a bold pilot..."

Alberto looked again, and brought his machine carbine to his shoulder. "Madre de dios! I think it's Charlie."

"Can't be!"

"Hold your fire." said a low voice, around the corner. It was almost a croak. "They got me, but I'm not dead yet." There ws a pause. "Alberto, I can hold them here, for a while."

Alberto and Wolf backed away from the corner, and watched as Charlie set up his Lewis gun. He had a hundred-round pan. Even zombies fall over when you hit them often with 7.92mm.

"Ya know how to use that thing?" Alberto was tring to make a joke out of it, and failing.

"Don't need to read Chinese." Charlie paused. "Promise me they won't get Helen. And do either of you guys have a grenade?"

It was Wolf who answered. "She's with the Thunderbird. Always will be. She's an aviator." After a moment, he took his second-last Mills bomb from his belt, and tossed it to Charlie. Neither said anything as Charlie removed the pin, and tucked it beneath himself, his weight holding the spoon in place. Both knew that Charlie wasn't expecting to stand up alive.

Behind them the Thunderbird began to start engines, one at a time, with slow cranking until the first cylinder fired, puffs of burning fuel vapour spitting from the exhausts. And no pauses. As soon as the first engine was spinning above idle speed somebody hit the starter switch for the next engine. No checks, no warm-up, just get the hell out.

Just get out of hell.

"Fly, you fools!" Charlie pulled the butt tight into his shoulder and started shooting.

Wolf and Alberto looked at each other, and hesitated. It was still Charlie, still shooting the short, controlled, bursts he'd fired twenty years before, on the Somme.

"I owe him money," said Alberto.

Charlie looked back for a moment, and his face already seemed to have changed. "Pay it to my son..."

Wolf and Alberto ran.

The Thunderbird only needed two engines to taxi, and it was a crazy leap from the pier, but Wolf and Alberto made it. Behind them, the shooting stopped. And there was one, rather muffled, explosion.

It wasn't a textbook take-off. It couldn't be, with the pilot's eyes filled with tears. Wolf, peering from the astrogation dome, could see the thunderclouds brewing over the island.

There is a reason for Helen's 'plane to be called the Thunderbird.

Don't ever get her mad at you when she's flying.

#59 ::: Glenn Hauman ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 10:09 AM:

Aaaah! Zombie filkers... wait, I'm being redundant.

#60 ::: ADM ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 10:09 AM:

Dave @#57

Mouser?

#62 ::: Sarah S. ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 10:13 AM:

ZombiePets, ZombiePets!
We're on our way
to munch upon your brains
and wreck your day.
We're not too fresh,
and we're not too smart,
but when we work together
you'll be torn apart.
Go ZombiePets! Yay!

#63 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 10:54 AM:

ADM@#59

It's a Spontoon Island thing.

Same as the famouse firearms designer, John Moses Bruining.

And here's Wolf Baginski with a Starling-Terrapin machine carbine

#64 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 11:30 AM:

Zombie picture Nothing gross...

#65 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 11:46 AM:

Lurchin', ever since I died. Keep lurchin', like a zombie man
Together, in a grunting line, just keep lurchin' on.

Shotguns and axes leave zombies to litter the main street.
Chicago, New York, Detroit, as if on the same street.
Your typical city involved in a typical horror
Go hide out and see what tomorrow brings.

Dallas, the gore is just obscene; houston, turned red like New Orleans;
New York's got the ways and means; but just won't let you be, undead.

Most of the zombies you meet on the streets are in tatters,
Most of the time they're lurchin' 'round looking for brains.
One of these days they know they better get goin
Out of that town to look for uneaten remains.

Lurchin', like the zombie man. once showed me how to eat a hand,
Sometimes their brains ain't worth a dime, if you can't scoop 'em out,

Sometimes I smell brains for a mile,
Other times I just smell bile.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange lurch its been.

What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same
Livin' on brains, liver and lights, and fingers,
All a friend can say is ain't it a shame?

Lurchin', up to buffalo. been thinkin', they'll get you if you're slow
To find brains, you pick a place to go, and just keep lurchin' on.

#66 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 03:48 PM:

Callin' out around the world
Are you ready with a brain to eat?
Summer's here and the time is right
For zombies in the streets
There're zombies in Chicago
Down in New Orleans
Up in New York City

All we need is brain-stem, sweet brain-stem
There'll be brain-stem everywhere
They'll be tendons swayin' and spinal chords splayin'
And zombies in the streets

Oh, it doesn't matter who's blood you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on, every guy grab a girl
And feed those zombies around the world
There'll be zombies
Zombies in the street

This is an invitation
Across the nation
A chance the folks for you to eat
There'll be laughin' and singin', phantom-limbs tinglin'
And zombies in the streets

#67 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 04:21 PM:

Mike @ #65, I think Mama Cass might have gotten a kick out of that.

#68 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 04:57 PM:

You said you stand by your man
But when you got bit, you hadn't planned
You said you ate brains and that's a fact
Then you left me, said I was tapped

Well some things you can explain away
But my brain is with me 'til this day-hey-hey

You didn't eat my brain
No, not at all
You didn't eat my brain
No way

All the times
When you were close
Then you turned around, that hurt the most
I dream all my brains come tumbling down
I won't be happy while my skull's still round

So all alone without a zombie to keep at bay
There is only one thing that I can say-hey-hey

You didn't eat my brain
No, not at all
You didn't eat my brain
No way

Sometimes a brai-ai-ai-ain is your for free
Did you try-aye-aye-aye to save your hunger for me

You didn't eat my brain
No, not at all
You didn't eat my brain
No way

Now I got some steak sauce
Spilled it on me today
Ritalin prescription
My diploma on display
Why's it my amygdala you won't chew?
Until you eat it I won't make it through

But you don't understand my point of view
Gaining knowledge is what my brain will do for you-hoo-h0o

You didn't eat my brain
No, not at all
You didn't eat my brain
No way

#69 ::: Tatterbots ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 05:23 PM:

Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie,
Can't you hear the people screaming
In the village square?

Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie,
Can't you hear the people screaming
In the village square?

Zombie, zombie, join the devastation
They'll be praying, but there's no salvation
Dawn will find us tearing all their brains out,
Feasting in the village square!

#70 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 05:43 PM:

I am going to bring the zombie back
If you ain't like it, go on the attack;
None of them can tell me how to ruin the country,
I defy any of you to dictate to me.
I am no dictator, but when I pass an order
Mr Speaker, the matter mus' go no futher.
I have nothing more to say
An' it mus' be done my way.
Come on, come on, come on spellmaking done for the day.
The power is mine, I am the boss,
What I say goes, an' who vex loss.

An I say that zombie will take charge of affairs,
An' who ain't like it, their brains leak out their ears.

Who the hell is you to make a quarrel?
The party's mine, lock, stock, an' barrel.
Who give you the privilege to object?
Open your skulls, shut up an' have respect!
I'm a tower of strength, yes.
I'm powerful but modest...unless
You force me to be evil and ruthless.
So shut up an' don't squawk,
This ain't no skylark,
When I talk undead don't bark
My word is law so watch your ass,
You slip you slide, don't you dare pass.

An I say that zombie will take charge of affairs,
An' who ain't like it, their brains leak out their ears.

#71 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 09:17 PM:

A modern-day monster
Mean mean stride,
Today's Tom Zombie
Mean mean pride.

Though his brain is not the best,
Don't put him down as ignorant.
His hunger, a messy offense,
Stagger out the day's events.
The food court

And what you say about his rotted lips
Is what you say about apocalypse.
Catch the meat, catch the bone
Catch the gristle, catch the clone.

The world is, the world is,
Hate and death are deep,
Maybe as his eyes are gone.

Today's Tom Zombie,
He gets high on you,
And the brain he devours
He gets by on you.

No, his maw is not for rent
To any ghoul or government.
Always hungry, yet discontent,
He knows dying isn't permanent,
But death is.

And what you say about his rotted lips
Is what you say about apocalypse.
Catch the runner, catch the brain,
Catch the purpose, catch the pain.

The world is, the world is,
Hate and death are deep,
Maybe as his eyes are gone.

Exit the monster,
Today's Tom Zombie,
He gets high on you,
And the life force you trade,
He gets right on to the banquet of the day.

#72 ::: Phil Tucker ::: (view all by) ::: February 02, 2009, 11:31 PM:

Got bitten in Baton Rouge, and at first I felt no pain,
And I's could only hope for an end that might be clean.
Bobby jump started a diesel just before the zombies came,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.

I tourniquetted my bite wound with my dirty red bandanna,
I was whimperin' soft while Bobby sang the blues.
With every mile we ran out of time, I was holding Bobby's hand in mine,
We both knew my death would be coming soon.

Infected's just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if your blood ain't clean, now now.
And holding back the fear was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know killing time was good enough for me,
Good enough till I tried to eat my Bobby McGee.

#73 ::: Marilee ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 12:34 AM:

Linkmeister, #35, I think you should get all the Eva CDs! At least Songbird and Live from Blues Alley.

#74 ::: Linkmeister ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 01:28 AM:

Marilee@ #72, I've got Songbird and Imagine so far, and I get more impressed every time I listen. The music world lost a beautiful interpretive voice when she died.

#75 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 08:37 AM:

In the day we sweat it out in the dusk of a receding American dream
At night we hide in mansions too gory imagining suicide machines
Crushed rib cages out on highway 9,
Zombie-infected and steppin' out over the line

Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, its a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young
`cause humans like us, baby we were born to run

[just the zombies sing]

Wendy let me in I wanna be your fiend
I want to consume your dreams and visions
Just let me wrap my hands around your veiny-chords
And sink my teeth in your intestines
Together I could break your trap
Then we'll eat life till we drop, baby well never go back
Will you let me pull your carotid out like a wire
`cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely biter
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if brain is wild, girl I want to know if brain is real

#76 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 09:39 AM:

Imagine there's no living
It's easy if you try
No humans to call us
"Why, zombie, won't you die"
Imagine all the people
Undead for today...

You may say I'm a zombie
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

#77 ::: Michael Roberts ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 10:25 AM:

Mike @75: hee. That one made my day.

#79 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 04:33 PM:

Teen Zombie... Teen Zombie... Teen Zombie...
woo woo


That fateful night,
The car was stalled
We heard the shambling sounds.
We pulled our guns
And we were safe,
Then we ran low on rounds....

(Chorus)
Teen Zombie, do you see me?
Teen Zombie, do you know me?
You are gone, we both agree,
But do you, somehow, still love me?

#80 ::: ers ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 05:51 PM:

Jim @ #78

Please forward that to Stephen King. He sang "Teen Angel" in the Rock Bottom Remainders, and he and Dave Barry destroyed it. The RBRs were/are a pick-up band comprising authors such as Dave Barry, Amy Tan, Matt Groening, Roy Blount Jr., and, for a while, led by Al Kooper (of Blood, Sweat, and Tears)). See Mid-life Confidential for an account of one of their tours.

Thank you all for this thread -- I do horror makeup and this has been an inspiration.

#81 ::: Soon Lee ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 06:55 PM:

Risin' up, out of the ground
Slept with worms, got all lonely
Dug myself out, now I'm back on my feet
Just a zombie trying to get by

Those live ones, are fleeing so fast
If they slow down, they’ll be sorry
Keep the chase up for they’re not going to last
They must run just to remain alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the zombie, it's the thrill of the bite
Risin' up to the challenge of our hunger
We will chase down the prey before the criminal wight
Cause he’s watchin' us all in the eye of the zombie

Putrefied, out in the heat
Face falls off, and still hungry
Hunted with shotguns as we take to the street
For we kill with the will to survive

chorus

Risin' up, out of the ground
Ate some guts, got all gory
Had my fill now but I’m not going to stop
A zombie and his will to survive

chorus

The eye of the zombie (repeats out)...

#82 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: February 03, 2009, 11:45 PM:

This thread makes me so happy. Thank you.

Zombie Baby, woo-ooo.
Zombie Baby, woo-ooo.
Zombie Baby is coming,
is coming for your rancid milk...

Okay, I have no idea where that came from.

#83 ::: Kayjayoh ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 12:37 AM:

Time to remind people of "Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead".

How about this one by the Zombeatles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP6nYs9Il7c&feature=related

#84 ::: Sylvia ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 06:56 AM:

We were up until 5:30am playing name that tune with this thread. I blame every single one of you for my hangover.

#85 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 09:28 AM:

There may be panic ahead
But while there's torches and pitchforks
And ghouls and romance
He'll bite your face off, first chance

Before the villagers have fled
Before we group at the top of the hill
And while they still
Can advance
He'll bite your face off, first chance

Soon
Humming a diff'rent tune
Your guts will all be strewn
And then

Don't ask directions, he's dead
So while there's torches and pitchforks
And ghouls and romance
He'll bite your face off, first chance

#86 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 09:47 AM:

Like to tell you 'bout my zombie
You know she comes around
Just 'bout five feet four
Picks up her head from the ground.
You know she comes around here
Just about midnight
Brains make her feel so good
Brains make her feel all right.
And I call her zee... oh... em... bee... eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye...

Zee oh em bee eye ee
Zee oh em bee eye ee
I'm gonna shout it all night
I'm gonna shout so you flee
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

She comes around here
Just about midnight
Brains make her feel so good
I don't wanna say brains make her feel all right.
Comes a-lurchin' down my street
Then she comes up to my house
She groans from brains upon my door
And then she comes to my room,
Yeah an' brains make her feel all right

#87 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 10:27 AM:

65/66
Surely that's Martha and the Zombellas?

#88 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 11:48 AM:

You'll remember me when the sandstorms blow
Among the low mastabas
You'll forget Lord Ra in his shining boat
As we guard the pyramids.
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the low mastabas
Her sarcophagus was their shelter then
Among the pyramids.

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the low mastabas?
You'll forget your time in the living world
As we sleep in pyramids.
See the sandstorms blow wearing down the stones
That make the low mastabas
Feel her cerements as the wrap you round
Inside her pyramid.

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear to you in the days still left
We'll sleep in pyramids
We'll sleep in pyramids.

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the low mastabas
And the time has come now to rise again
Among the pyramids
We will show these men what it means to fear
Those who guard the pyramids
Those who guard the pyramids
Those who guard the pyramids

#89 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 01:59 PM:

If you, from the dead return
I'll set you to burn
I'll look for my blade

I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your aptitude
For tearing body parts
Getting blood on everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And zombie, so did you
So why were you eating her hand?
That's not the way we planned
Did your dying change your mind?
And your taste for blood just grew

Before your teeth sink deep
You know I'm not much food for you
Do you zombies have to linger, er, ah, ah, ha?
Did you have to take my finger?
Did you have to, did you have to
Did you have to take my finger?

Oh, I thought the last I saw of you
I thought that barricade was strong
But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, you could let me by
I'm trying not to die,
Things wouldn't be so confused
If my brain you could recuse
From your culinary pursuit
Can't you find something else to chew?

Before your teeth sink deep
You know I'm not much food for you
Do you zombies have to linger, er, ah, ah, ha?
Did you have to take my finger?
Did you have to, did you have to
Did you have to take my finger?

#91 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 08:57 PM:

There was me, that is Alex, and...

I smot at you all viddy the lubbilub there that's spatting
While my pop-disc gently blubs
I smot at the floor and I viddy it needs sweeping
Still my pop-disc gently blubs
I don't know why nobody govoreeted you how to unfold your lubbilub
I don't know how someone sovieted you
They kupetted and sold you.

I smot at the world and I notice it's turning
While my pop-disc gently blubs
With like every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my pop-disc gently blubs
I don't know how you were zombified
You were petrified too
I don't know how you were converted
No odin alerted you.

I smot at you all viddy the lubbilub there that's spatting
While my pop-disc gently blubs
Smot at you all...
Still my pop-disc gently blubs.

#92 ::: B. Durbin ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 10:05 PM:

#88: Brilliant. I've always heard that lyric in my head with "finger" anyway. Just like that Pink Floyd lyric always end up in my memory as "All in all it's just another kick in the balls."

#93 ::: Mycroft W ::: (view all by) ::: February 04, 2009, 10:50 PM:

This medley brought to you by the letters Z and V, and the numberless hordes.

B is for BRAINS - they're good enough for me...


It's not pleasant being dead -
Having to spend each evening shambling through the leaves
When I remember being friendly, and alive, and intelligent,
and all the human qualities I had


I love brains!
Whether they're slimy or grotty or crusty.
Even if spattered, intact, wet or crunchy.
Oh, I love brains!


ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
I cannot recall if I have ever seen
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
I used to know exactly what I mean
Before I lost my reason, it was clear to me,
but somewhere in the evening, my memory queered on me!
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
If I eat someone who knows exactly what it means -
I'll be the smartest zombie you have ever seen!


Running Chainsaw, you're the one
Chopping zombies - so much fun
Running Chainsaw, I survive because of you
<vrm,vrm,vrm,vrm,vrm>


Eat
Eat some brains
There's enough here
To last all night and day
Don't worry that you're not sane enough
To maim or to kill some more
just Eat
Eat some brains

And, of course:

Cloudy days
dug up just yesterday
found my way, to where the hordes appear
Can you tell me how to get
down to Zombie Sesame Street
(just to Zombie Sesame Street!)

#94 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 02:58 AM:

Another sign of the Zombie Apocalypse: Daily lane closures due to zombies

Riot at
Food court
Sing sad refrains
100 zombies
99 brains
Burma-Shave

#95 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 01:41 PM:

If I return tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must rise from the grave, now,
'cause there's too many brains I've got to eat.
But, if I stayed in the ground, girl,
Death just couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a zombie,
And this hunger you can't change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, it's been a sweet brain.
Though this hunger I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if your brain stayed here with you girl,
Undeath couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a zombie,
And this hunger'll never change.
And this zombie can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't... nnngannnhhh...

#96 ::: dteleki ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 03:28 PM:

You feed all my senses
Like a thigh in the forest
Like a stomach in springtime
Like a sweet juicy brain
Like a corpse in the desert
Like a clotting red bloodbath
You feed all my senses
Come feed me again

Come let me munch you
Let me take your life from you
Let me drown in your bloodstream
As you die in my arms
Let me lie down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me munch you
Come feed me again

#97 ::: Caroline ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 03:55 PM:

Mike @ 94: [breaks beer bottle, plays guitar with bottleneck]

#98 ::: Elizabeth "Archangel Beth" McCoy ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 05:10 PM:

(How can no one have done this one yet?)

In the graveyard, the quiet graveyard,
The zombies sleep toniiiiight...
In the graveyard, the moonlight graveyard,
The zombies rise tonight...

#99 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 11:16 PM:

When you're weary, we won't stall
When tears are in your eyes, we will claw them all
We're on your flank, your escape's cut off
And ghouls rise from the ground
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We'll desecrate your town
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We'll desecrate your town

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
You'll serve as comfort food
We'll take you apart
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We will eat your minds
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We will eat your minds

#100 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 05, 2009, 11:20 PM:

We will purge your town

#101 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 12:10 AM:

Avail on slave to ghouls
Avail and die
We'll on your misery dine
All your dreams are our entree
See how malign
Your demise impends
We're wailing right behind
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We will purge your town
You will cringe at your species slaughtered
We will purge your town

#102 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 09:33 AM:

He went and died and you hung around
And bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

My boyfriend's back and he'll eat your limbs to stubble
(Hey-la-day-la from the dead he's back)
You see him comin' your 'copter better take off on the double
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)
You been spreading lies that I was untrue
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)
Now he's a zombie comin' after you

(Hey-la-day-la from the dead he's back)
(Hey, he knows that you been tryin')
(And he won't be stopped by dyin')

He's been dead for such a long time
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)
Now he'll hack and pull things from you on which he's gonna dine
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)
He's gonna crap your bones like corn
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)
Gonna make you sorry you were ever born
(Hey-la-from the dead he's back)

#103 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 10:44 AM:

Sixty ways to kill a zombie ....

#104 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 10:50 AM:

Elizabeth "Archangel Beth" McCoy #97: (How can no one have done this one yet?)
In the graveyard, the quiet graveyard,[...]

I did, in a previous Open Thread. I probably should have included it by reference earlier on. heh.

#105 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 11:34 AM:

102: "The problem is all inside their heads", she said to me
The answer is easy if you've got your .303,
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to kill a zombie

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
But if you don't get some advice, it looks like you are screwed,
You're stuck inside that shopping mall, for some reason semi-nude
There must be fifty ways to kill a zombie

You just hit 'em with a bat, Mat,
Shoot 'em in the brain, Wayne,
You got to stay alive, Clive,
So listen to me,
Jump into the tank, Frank,
Or cut off the head, Fred,
Make sure you don't miss, Chris,
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
But any moment now you'll just want to eat my brain
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said I don't believe you'll live to see the morning light
And I promise it won't hurt if you go down without a fight
And then she shot me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to kill a zombie

Use an M16, Eileen,
Or a bit of C4, Ifor,
Or an improvised bomb, Tom,
Whatever you got,
You can just try to run, son,
Stop 'em if you can, Duquan,
Keep your head and shoot slow, Joe,
Better dead than not...

#106 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 12:53 PM:

A long, long time ago...
Before you I dismembered
How anticipation made me smile
And I knew I was in a trance
To eat your brain given half a chance
And, maybe, sate my hunger for a while

Bloody hunger made me shiver
With every death that I'd deliver
To your boudoir I had krept
I allowed you no misstep

You saw your heart before you died
A surgeon couldn't if he tried
In you my hands reached deep inside
Before your blood had dried

So bye-bye, ghouls don't stop when they die
I turned your body to a bevy
And I drank your bile dry
And them zombies ambush good old boys not too spry
Singin, what's it take to get you to die?
What's it take to get you to die?

#107 ::: Allan Beatty ::: (view all by) ::: February 06, 2009, 09:01 PM:

Ajay @ 104: Thank you for including a woman's name as at least a start at making it equal opportunity for both genders.

(grumble) That song has been a sore point with me ever since the time, way back when, that I filked the chorus as "Fifty ways to kill your lover," with half and half male and female names. Someone else then did the verses, kept only my chorus with male names, and had it published in a collection with both of us credited (blamed) for the words.

#108 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: February 08, 2009, 09:19 PM:

ajay, I thank you for doing 'Fifty Ways', because I certainly couldn't have done it - I don't know it well enough.

(My mind keeps wanting to do something with 'Simple Gifts', and I really don't want to go there.)

#109 ::: dteleki ::: (view all by) ::: February 11, 2009, 10:20 PM:

'Tis our gift to be simple, 'tis our gift to be undead,
'Tis our gift to slurp the brain out of your head,
And when we sink our teeth into your skull just right,
We'll be in the valley of gourmet delight.

When true apocalypse is gain'd,
To moan and to shamble we shan't be asham'd,
To lurch, lurch, will be our delight,
Till by lurching, lurching, we rule the night.

#110 ::: Jim Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: February 11, 2009, 11:54 PM:

Completing Teen Zombie from #79 above:


I know what sent you running back
When others might withdraw:
The can of fuel stowed in the trunk
To fire up our chain saw.

Teen Zombie, do you see me?
Teen Zombie, do you know me?
You are gone, we both agree,
But do you, somehow, still love me?

Although now half your face is gone
I recognize you fine
The can of gas you're clutching still
Means that you once were mine.

Teen Zombie, do you see me?
Teen Zombie, do you know me?
You are gone, we both agree,
But do you, somehow, still love me?
Teen Zombie, Teen Zombie, go away, please.

#112 ::: Fred ::: (view all by) ::: February 12, 2009, 01:10 AM:

Well, she died at 17,
then returned to the scene,
And the way she looked drove me to despair.
I saw her gnaw on my brother (ooh)
As his screams rent the air.

Well she looked at me, and i, i could see
If she had her way, I'd be a dinner for her.
I fled as she ate mother (whooh)
and father- both the pair.

Well, my gun went "boom,"
When i crossed that tomb,
And i held her hand in mine...

Whoah, I ran through the night,
but I had a sense I might,
before too long, become a meal for her.
But she chowed down on another (whooh)
who didn’t have a prayer.

Well, my heart went "boom,"
As I fled that tomb,
And still held her hand in mine...

Though I ran through the night,
and I gave her a good fight,
before too long, i fell prey to her.
Now i'll have to nosh on another (whooh)
Since i saw her standing there

#113 ::: Fred ::: (view all by) ::: February 12, 2009, 01:37 AM:

Out on the mortuary lawn
You’d run and gasp and scream.
You had a terror of my undead self-
Too cold, too greedy.
How could you leave me,
When I needed to digest you?
I hated you. but I loved you, too.

Footsteps in the night
Told me that you had gone to flight,
Fleeing from my wuthering, wuthering
Wuthering Heights.

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come back and I´m so cold,
let me have one nibble

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come back and I´m so cold,
let me have one nibble

Ooh, I get starving! I get hungry,
lurching after you.
I fall a lot. I crawl a lot,
as I pursue you.
I'm coming back, love,
Sweet Heathcliff, my one dream,
My date for dinner.

Too long you fled in the night.
I’m starving, and I need a bite.
I hear you moan in wuthering, wuthering,
Wuthering Heights,

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come home and I'm so cold,
let me have one nibble.

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come home and I'm so cold,
let me have one nibble.

Ooh! Let me savor,
as I cannot abstain.
Ooh! What a flavor.
As I munch your brain,
Eaten by me- Cathy!

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come home and I´m so cold,
let me have one nibble.
Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come home and I´m so cold,
let me have one nibble.

Heathcliff, it's me, I’m Cathy, I've come home and I'm so cold...

#114 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: February 12, 2009, 10:36 AM:

Richie Valens singing 'La Zomba' (arriba, arriba!)

#115 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: February 13, 2009, 02:15 AM:

All you need is teeth
All you need is teeth, teeth, teeth to eat my brains
Give it a try, it'll be rude
Put it to the test and I'll cut you up with chains
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day
Lurch all around, down to the mall, try to defy the hunger inside
You better be strong to get our brains from us
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day

All I need is gas
All I need is gas, gas, gas to run my saw
I don't want to know anything you done
If you need to feed then stuff someone else in your maw
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day

All we need is death
All we need is death, death, death to stop the spread
Kick 'em around, get quite rude
So you don't make a mistake just make sure they're dead
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day
Zombies on my shoulder
And you know that they get a little bolder every day

#116 ::: Earl Cooley III ::: (view all by) ::: February 14, 2009, 04:38 PM:

In constant hunger all through his days

I am a zombie of constant hunger
I've munched on brains all my days
I bid farewell to ol' Pòdepè
The place where I was kilt and raised.

The place where he was kilt and raised

For six long years I tend to dribble,
a banquet here on earth I've found
For in this world, I'm bound to nibble,
I have no soul to help me now.

He has no soul to help him now

It's fair thee well, my old true bokor
I never expected to see you again.
For I'm cursed to feast on random strangers,
perhaps I'll dine upon your brain

Perhaps he'll dine upon your brain

You can bury me in Fort-Liberté,
For many hours there I may lay.
And you will learn to raise another
while I am spinning in my grave.

While he is spinning in his grave

Maybe your friends think I'm just a zombie
My face you never will see no more
But there is one promise that is given,
I'll meet you on Hell's molten shore

He'll meet you on Hell's molten shore

#117 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: February 25, 2009, 10:12 AM:

Y'know, we haven't played Name That Tune yet.

So I'll go first, with posts 1-15 (regretfully, I don't know a lot of popular music):

The post itself was "Fhafuvar ba zl Fubhyqre" ol Wbua Qraire (as noted by Jeff Hentosz in #5).

1. ???
2. ???
3. ???

7. ???

10. ???

12. abi, Pbhagel Ebnqf (Wbua Qraire)
13. ???
14. zathrun in sunnydale, Fraq va gur Pybjaf (Whql Pbyyvaf)


Wow. I'm not doing too well, am I?

#118 ::: Clifton Royston ::: (view all by) ::: February 25, 2009, 11:41 AM:

Let me give you a hand:

10. Gur Orngyrf, 'Bo Yn Qv, Bo Yn Qn'
13. Is more Wbua Qraire, 'Lbh Svyy Hc Zl Frafrf'
14. Yes, it's 'Fraq Va gur Pybjaf', but it's actually written by Fbaqurvz though I like the Whql Pbyyvaf cover on Whqvgu too.
16. Obo Zneyrl, 'Ab Jbzna Ab Pel'
38. 'Bu Jung N Ornhgvshy Qnl' from Bxynubzn

... and now I should really start getting ready for work.

#119 ::: R.M. Koske ::: (view all by) ::: February 25, 2009, 12:20 PM:

Wow, I'm surprised that I got #3 when it is apparently difficult. Makes me wonder if my answer is wrong. I think it is Gur Jnl Jr Jrer.

#120 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: February 25, 2009, 02:15 PM:

A chunk more, here and there:

23. Fhogreenarna Ubzrfvpx Oyhrf, Obo Qlyna
40. Ybir Jvyy Xrrc Hf Nyvir, gur Rntyrf
43. Nzrevpna Cvr, Wbr ZpYrna
66. Qnapvat va gur Fgerrg, Znegun naq gur Inaqryynf
76. Vzntvar, Wbua Yraaba
79. Grra Natry, Znex Qvaavat

#121 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: February 25, 2009, 02:21 PM:

Let me just do all the ones that I can:

OP (not a challenge because I wrote it: Fhafuvar ba Zl Fubhyqre (Jeff Hentosz got it).

12: Pbhagel Ebnqf (Qraire)
14: Fraq va gur Pybjaf (Fbaqurvz)
17 & 24: Ebfrf ner erq (genq)
25: unvxh (genq)
26: Guvf vf whfg gb fnl (Jvyyvnz Pneybf Jvyyvnzf)
33: Genqvgvba (sebz Svqqyre ba gur Ebbs)
38: Bu Jung n Ornhgvshy Zbeavat (sebz Bxynubma!)
42: Sbhe Qrnq va Buvb (Arvy Lbhat)
43: Nzrevpna Cvr (Qba ZpYrna)
46: Ebfrf ner Erq (genq)
49: Sver naq Enva (Wnzrf Gnlybe)
52: Nznmvat Tenpr 55: Unyyryhwnu (Yrbaneq Pbura)
62: Jbaqre Crgf (GI gurzr fbat)
71: Gbz Fnjlre (Ehfu)
72: Zr & Obool ZpTrr (Wnavf Wbcyva)
76: Obea gb Eha (Fcevatfgrra)
79: I wrote this one and ers got it right after.
81: Rlr bs gur Gvtre
93: Inevbhf Frfnzr Fgerrg fbatf, vapyhqvat Vg'f Abg Rnfl Orvat Terra, Ehoore Qhpxvr, naq gur gurzr fbat.
94: Ohezn-Funir wvatyr
98: Gur Yvba Fyrrcf Gbavtug
102: Zl Oblsevraq'f Onpx
105: Svsgl Jnlf gb Yrnir Lbhe Ybire
106: Nzrevpna Cvr 109: Fvzcyr Tvsgf
110: Same as #79
116: Zna bs Pbafgnag Fbeebj

That leaves lots and lots for other folks to fill in.


#122 ::: GlendaP sees SPAM ::: (view all by) ::: November 14, 2011, 04:06 AM:

.

#123 ::: Singing Wren sees SPAM ::: (view all by) ::: February 23, 2012, 10:33 PM:

Neither zombies nor poetry. Sorry, please try again.

(Or better yet, don't.)

#124 ::: LMM sees apparent spam. ::: (view all by) ::: February 27, 2012, 11:20 PM:

Above. The link's dead, but that's kind of meaningless.

#125 ::: tykewriter sees another spamprobe ::: (view all by) ::: April 05, 2012, 04:24 AM:

It makes her to clutches more information, apparently.

#127 ::: Debbie sees spam ::: (view all by) ::: May 06, 2012, 07:11 AM:

Linkspam.

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