It’s been a long time since I’ve posted a new entry to this community, and I know the comments on the last one have gotten unworkably long. I’m sorry. You deserve better.

There’s been stuff. There still is stuff. I’ll explain in the comments.

But I’d just like to point out that even with my highly intermittent presence, this community has continued, and continued to be a wonderful thing.

I’ll continue to be back as I can. But it fills me with so much delight to see the egg I hatched, the hatchling I fed, grow wings, spread them, and fly.

This is part of the sequence of Dysfunctional Families discussions. We have a few special rules, specific to the needs and nature of the conversations we have here.

1. If you want to participate but don’t want your posts linked to your contributions to the rest of Making Light, feel free to choose a pseudonym. But please keep it consistent within these threads, because people do care. You can create a separate (view all by) history for your pseudonym by changing your email address. And if you blow it and cross identities, give me a shout and I’ll come along and tidy it up.
2. On a related note, please respect the people’s choice to use a pseudonym, unless they make it clear that they are willing to let the identities bleed over in people’s minds.
3. If you’re not from a dysfunctional background, be aware that your realities and base expectations are not the default in this conversation. In particular, please don’t do the “they’re the only family you have” thing. Black is white, up is down, and your addressee’s mother may very well be their nemesis.
4. Be even more careful, charitable, and gentle than you would elsewhere on Making Light. Try to avoid “helpiness”/”hlepiness” (those comments which look helpful, but don’t take account of the addressee’s situation and agency). Apologize readily and sincerely if you tread on toes, even unintentionally. This kind of conversation only works because people have their defenses down.
5. Never underestimate the value of a good witness. If you want to be supportive but don’t have anything specific to say, people do value knowing that they are heard.

Previous posts (note that comments are closed on them to keep the conversation in one place):

• Have a Dysfunctional Families Day
• Dysfunctional Families Day: Inversion Experience
• Dysfunctional Families Day: No Expectations
• Dysfunctional Families Day: Tangled Emotions
• Dysfunctional Families: You Must Be This Unhappy To Ride
• Dysfunctional Families: Circled Strangers
• Dysfunctional Families: Fish Hooks
• Dysfunctional Families: Everybody lined up for the parade?
• Dysfunctional Families: Sitting and Rising
• Dysfunctional Families: Surviving and Thriving
• Dysfunctional Families: Shooting and Shouting
• Dysfunctional Families: Hope
• Dysfunctional Families: Forgiveness
• Dysfunctional Families: Books on Tape
• Dysfunctional Families: Toolbox
• Dysfunctional Families, the Role-Playing Game
• Dysfunctional Families: Witnessing
• Dysfunctional Families: Boundaries
• Dysfunctional Families: Looking Back, Walking On
• Dysfunctional Families: Think of the Children