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August 13, 2008

The Ball of Kirriemuir
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 09:38 PM * 188 comments

Tuvok the Vulcan he was there
Standin’ at the bar,
Sayin’ “This isn’t logical
An’ I’m not in pon farr.”

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Agent Mulder he was there
Suckin’ on a beer
Asking all the passers-by
“Is Alex Krycek here?”
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Agent Scully she was there
Standin’ on her head
Provin’ tae a’ the boys an’ girls
Her hair is really red.
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
The Buffy-bot sure she was there
Lookin’ round the place
A can o’ lube-oil in her hand
An’ lust upon her face.
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Vampire Willow she was there
In her leather vest,
Sayin’ “First I’ll do the lassies
An’ then I’ll do the rest.”
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
An’ when the ball was over
Then everyone expressed
While the ballin’ was exquisite
The slash-fic was the best.
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Creative Commons License
This work by James Macdonald is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Comments on The Ball of Kirriemuir:
#1 ::: Will "scifantasy" Frank ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 09:58 PM:

Jimmy Kirk, oh he was there,
Hanging 'round wi' Spock,
Provin' they were the originals
And provin' they liked--(REDACTED)

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.
#2 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 10:15 PM:

shades of Kc in 1976 and listening to a (now long-deceased) baritone male voice singing the "Balls to your partner (etc.)" song on the other side of the wall from your headboard.

It was actually a better experience than later when a flock of KC SF fans made a group trip to Hutchinson and the Cosmosphere. The motel advertised an adult wrestling video and it sounded like the enormous couple in the room over ours were viewing and practicing slam-f-cking..... it was scary. We thought the ceiling was going to fall in.

#3 ::: Megan Messinger ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 10:25 PM:

I love you, Jim. (That's what he said!) This has been going around in my head since Sunday night's pub sing at the NY renfaire, except our version is (roughly)


Young Luke Skywalker, he was there
Lookin for some nookie
But he had to make do with Leia
Because Han was with the Wookie

Singin, balls to your partner
Your arse against the wall
If you canna write slash on a Saturday night
You canna write slash at all!


And surely our version should be The Ball of Barad-Dûr?

#4 ::: Liza ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 10:30 PM:

Jimmy turned to Sarah, said
"Will ye ball wi' me?
I ken I'm no yer favorite, but
We're someone's OTP."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
#5 ::: paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 10:37 PM:

the other thing that made the Hutch trip memorable was that a) it was so hot that the body parts in the pool felt good and anythng not underwater felt sand-blasted and 2) hotel had an 'honor bar' happy hour, 50¢ a pour. Some guests got f-king drunk despite their own small children being there.

#6 ::: Lila ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 10:48 PM:

Dammit, Jim, I'm a physical therapist assistant, not a filker!

#7 ::: MM ::: (view all by) ::: August 13, 2008, 11:29 PM:

Jack Harkness came into the bar
With his pet trouser mouse.
He shagged them all then asked "Is there
A Doctor in the house?"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#8 ::: Vance Maverick ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:05 AM:

Should that perhaps be "She will nae"?

#9 ::: Stephan Zielinski ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:07 AM:

Father Mulcahy, he was there
Calling Pierce's bet
Sayin’, “This ain't Christ King's timeline
But I'll win by losing yet."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
#10 ::: Nicole TWN ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:17 AM:

Harry Potter took out his wand;
Jack Sparrow said, "It's scary--
I've seen magic, but 'til now,
I didn't believe in fairies."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#11 ::: Evan ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:20 AM:

Harry Potter, he was there
The party to enjoy
And holding tightly in his hand
The wand of young Malfoy

    And it's who'll slash ye this time
    Who'll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo
#12 ::: Madeleine Robins ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:23 AM:

I love this place. Really.

#13 ::: elise ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:31 AM:

Jack from Torchwood spent all night
Confirming what he'd heard:
That he and Al from Deadwood
Had the very same favorite word

And it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo

(Patrick, I still owe you that Torchwood/Deadwood crossover fic!)

#14 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:58 AM:

Se'en o' Nine the Borg was there
Up to naughty tricks
Introducing Janeway
To her younger sister, Six.

An' it's who'll slash ye next time,
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#15 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:37 AM:

Jean-Luc Picard came strolling in
his uniform askew.
He'd been back in the alley,
with Data and Geordie too.

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.


Ryker had a sly, smug grin,
and carried a sex toy.
With Deana and a Klingon,
he'd had Menage a' Troi.

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.


Owen and Ianto made the scene;
Jack just said, "Oh, goodie!"
Watching his two friends get it on
gave Jack a huge Torchwoodie.

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.

#16 ::: Elfwreck ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 03:52 AM:

Sam and Dean were fightin'
a Pennsylvania coven
An' provin' that Philadelphia is
The city of brotherly lovin'

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Captain Sparrow staggered in
A-lookin' for someone to boff
For Captain Jack had been on the rum
and now he was jackin' off.
An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.


#17 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:44 AM:

Book is on his knees again
Right where he belongs
Teaching Zoe lessons
From the Song of Songs.

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

The hall outside the engine room
Echoes with a roar
As Kaylee's motor fires up
Round Wash's dinosaur.

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

Inara smiles, and makes Jayne moan
As her hand draws nearer
To stroke and clench the hardness of
His long and shapely Vera.

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

Mal doesn't leave Serenity
Although he's docked and locked her
He's in his bunk with Simon
Letting him play doctor.

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

#18 ::: Shinydan Howells ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 05:14 AM:

Three Doctors, hiding in the john
From twisted Harkness' tricks
Are proving you can get to Ten
If you add Four and Six

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#19 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 06:47 AM:

The Captain grabbed the Doctor
By his lab coat pale.
"I think I'll get my hammer out
So you can be my nail."

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

The Doctor laughed most horribly.
"If it's woodwork we do
Then let me turn your offer round
And make you be my screw."

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

Bad Horse whinnied at them both
"It's time I made my choice
And whichever one I choose
Had best be friends with Moist."

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

#20 ::: Vef ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 08:10 AM:

Mister Garibaldi
Has his weapon set to stun
He's trawling B5's lower decks
For some Man-Minbari fun

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Doctor number ten's arrived
From a distant world
He's showing off his Hamlet
To a horde of hungry girls

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Now Rose is blowing Cybermen
Away with every shot
Martha's down between her legs
And she cares not a jot

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Peter Petrelli he was there
Sucking up some powers
While brother Nate and sister Claire
Have been in the loo for hours

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Mister Linderman announced
"It's all going to plan"
While Hiro thrust his weapon
Into each and every man

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Iron Man and Wolverine
Have cornered Kitty Pryde
She phased through claws and 'pulsor rays
And offered Beast a ride

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

The Borg have turned up in a cube
They're looking for a date
All resistance is futile
You WILL assimilate

#21 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 08:17 AM:

All the girls of Ravenclaw
Agreed the day was weird:
When Harry waved his magic wand
Their knickers disappeared.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#22 ::: Phil Lee ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:08 AM:

Snape o' Potions he was there
Skimming every page
"When I get to the final book
They'll finally be of age!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Agent Cooper he stood there
In a room of red
Admiring how his waist lined
Right up with midget head

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Up to the Wall strode Karla
A-comin' to defect
But Smiley said "Defective?
I found him quite erect!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Judas awoke to find in bed
A randy King of Kings
Jesus just sighed and said "Fangirls
will slash most anything."

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#23 ::: Lis Riba ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:21 AM:

Cap'n Jack is on the deck,
A wicked scheme he's plannin'.
If he's the first to Will and James,
They can also fck with canon.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Dumbledore and Grindelwald
Are sowing wild oats.
And that annoys poor Aberforth,
They always get his goat.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Hagrid likes wild animals,
While Dobby goes for socks.
Minerva's out tomcatting,
And the Giant Squid's with Fawkes.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Slashy smut wreaks havoc
In the hallowed Hogwarts halls.
Trelawney, she prefers to watch
While fondling crystal balls.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
The new OC, it's plain to see,
Is such a Mary Sue.
She'll make the rounds with everyone,
And you, and you, and you.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#24 ::: Ian Osmond ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:30 AM:

Back at MiddleMan HQ
Ida's made a new pal.
"I'm sorry, Dave -- YOU can't do that.
But I sure will," says HAL


An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#25 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:32 AM:

Padme said to Anakin
"We can't ball in this place!"
So Anakin he shrugged and threw
Her skirts o'er her face.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Qui-Gon Jin was so upset
To see what they had done
He went and showed his saber
To his pad'wan Obi-Wan.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Gimli took his battle-axe
And swung with all his might
For he'd be damned if Legolas
Balled more than him that night!

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Eowyn was ready but
Estel he wouldn't stand
She thought that she might have more luck
By dressing as a man.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#26 ::: xeger ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:34 AM:

Hmm... if I didn't know any better, I'd wonder if there's actually two tunes being written to here, just based on scansion...

#27 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:37 AM:

xeger: Given that the song's by everyone's favorite songwriter Anon Trad, it's entirely possible that different people know different tunes.

#28 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:53 AM:

Agent Smith and Neo
Were comparing masculinity
When Morpheus walked in an' said
"Noo let's hae a Trinity."

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#29 ::: alsafi ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:06 AM:

I love this place.

#30 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:32 AM:

The Eschaton was at the ball
to show weak gods don't suck.
It grabbed the Borg and got into
a galactic cluster f*ck.

    An' it's who'll slash ye next time
    Who'll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.

#31 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:33 AM:

O, the ball,
The Ball of Barad-dûr
Where Ring-wraiths an' Balrogs
Were fookin' on the floor


An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#32 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:37 AM:

The dinosaurs came runnin’
At Making Light to stay,
When sodomy they wanted,
Not one could stay away.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#33 ::: Vef ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:44 AM:

Phil @22:
You have ruined John Le Carre for me forever.

Although now I come to think of it, Obi-Wan and Jean-Luc wouldn't make such a bad couple.

#34 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:57 AM:

The sysops saw web traffic rise
to levels near unreal,
Ten million noobs with postings long
all named as "Cowboy Neal".

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#35 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:05 AM:

Nancy Drew stood quite amazed
Amid the smoke and noise
She'd just found out why Frank and Joe
Are called the Hardy Boys.

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#36 ::: Kellie Hazell ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:12 AM:

I was about to send a bill to Phil Lee for a replacement keyboard (#22's Jesus just sighed and said "Fangirls will slash most anything." resulting in the 'board's demise), but this thread is made of so much awesome that I think it best we start a Save the Keyboards fund for others who have suffered a distressing beverage spew over the comments here. Or maybe we should take it to the national level and join with surprised lurkers and readers everywhere by attaching a rider to the soon to be approved Clean LCD Act.

#37 ::: BSD ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:34 AM:

J'onn J'onzz had come to play
An ancient martian trick
Half the men and all the girls
Got f***ed by his green p***k!

Now Luffy would nae be upstaged
(The Pirate King has pride)
So while he Rogered Robin
She stroked their other sides!

Miaka brought Tamahome
Yui brought Nakago
The boys then got together
And gave the girls a show!

Pepper Pots had come alone
Or that was what she thought
She found her boss a-nailin' Rhodes
With both of their suits off!

#38 ::: Darice Moore ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:51 AM:

I should be working... ah, what the hell.

They say the Dark is Risin'
Will admits that with pride
He found out that the Wild Hunt
Was quite the wild ride!

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#39 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:01 PM:

(might one enquire after the original song(s) and tune(s)?)

#40 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:03 PM:

[[durh. nevermind. it's the post title.]]

#41 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:07 PM:

and there's a music file of some sort here.

#42 ::: Columbina ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:21 PM:

Delurking to say that this may be my favorite example of collective ML brilliance ever.

Also, @39:

One possible melody (printed score)

An MP3 I haven't listened to and don't vouch for

#43 ::: Ian Osmond ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:30 PM:

xeger (26) wrote: Hmm... if I didn't know any better, I'd wonder if there's actually two tunes being written to here, just based on scansion...

Or, it's also possible that people are writing verses for the same tune, but at varying levels of skill.

But the most likely situation is that people are writing verses for multiple tunes, with vastly varying skill levels.

#44 ::: Bruce Adelsohn ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:33 PM:

Better MP3 here (Another from the same website as Columbina @42, bt this one is downloadable. And all of approximately 250KB :-)

Racer X drove hard and fast
'Cause it fulfilled his need.
The two-man race he finished last;
He came right after Speed.

The Hastur and The Aldaran
Crossed swords and matrices
The Hastur knew that he had won
When his foe was on his knees

#45 ::: Emma ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 12:42 PM:

Dear G-d in heaven, you people are insane! Wonderfully insane, mind you, but still....

#46 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:04 PM:

Dorothy and Scarecrow,
Flew in from Oz that day,
"What queer folks I meet" she said,
"But, my this party's gay!"

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#47 ::: Summer Storms ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:11 PM:

...

uncontrollable giggling

#48 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:11 PM:

Lucky Jack and Maturin
Had done the dirty bop
But none could afterward recall
Which one had been on top.

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#49 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:32 PM:

I don't know what you're doing, yet I'm doing it anyway.

The Daleks invaded Cylon
Intoning, "Obey us or be slain."
Six said, "The only plungers we defer to
Are the kind with veins."

#50 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 01:48 PM:

Then the Daleks rolled out Davros;
Cylons lined-up to serve their totum.
"We've been shooting lasers all this time
When all we had to show was scrotum"

#51 ::: edward oleander ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 03:06 PM:

Belgarion, O he was there,
A Rivan cutting loose.
He bent Lelldorin over,
and nailed his caboose!

O Belgarath, O he was there,
Looking fit and trim.
For centuries he'd waited,
To taste Polgara's quim.

Ce'Nedra, she got naked,
Tiny, pert and cute.
She winked at Silk, she liked his ilk,
And took it up the 'chute!

O Barak with his sword in hand,
From Cherek he did trudge,
He caught a gleam from Durnik,
And packed his sword in fudge!

And Relg, that old fanatic,
Could not resist the call.
He made it with the Horse Lord,
Up against the wall.

Beldin with his wings of blue,
His hook a smoking white.
Vella peered between his legs,
And damn near died of fright!

An' it's who'll slash ye next time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#52 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 03:48 PM:

Vorkosigan he stood there
His blaster in his hand;
While giant sergeant Taura
Smiled at the rising gland.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Miles will defend the empire
Though short of arm and leg;
We wonder at his purpose
The while he's bedding Greg.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Go shopping with Cordelia,
She can't abide the view
and doesn't like the merchandise
but does like kissing Kou.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#53 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 03:51 PM:

Said Moya to the Falcon,
"That wasn't that much fun.
You made it even shorter than
The bloody Kessel run!"

     An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
     Who’ll slash ye noo?
     The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
     She no will slash ye noo.

#54 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:13 PM:

Elder Cthulhu he was there,
So hoping to get laid,
A mob of zombies shambled by,
And sucked his brains instead.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#55 ::: Summer Storms ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:27 PM:

Abi @ 53: Okay, that did it. My sides ache now!!!!

#56 ::: hagsrus ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:36 PM:

Buck and Steele and Antichrist
In threeway you may find:
"Now this is really Rapture
So we're glad we're Left Behind!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#57 ::: hagsrus ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:41 PM:

Doyle and Bodie joined the throng,
And mightily did strive
To f**k in a Professional way
For the sake of CI5!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#58 ::: rea ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 04:44 PM:

The Fesitival's in orbit now
The gadgets up will pile
The Emperor wants to start a war
But does it Dogger-style

#59 ::: Janice in GA ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 05:16 PM:

The Doctor watched Romana 2
Regenerate at will.
She kept it up until she knew
A Ward would fit the bill!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#60 ::: Jules ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 05:49 PM:

I was originally going to say that you guys owe me a new keyboard. But no, I think, in fact, that you owe me a new brain, 'cos this one's contaminated beyond hope of cleansing now.

#61 ::: annesible ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 06:24 PM:

Tee Hee!! My first time here and the perfect day to finally make it over!

Kirk and Spock blushed to hear
Scotty's lusty moan:
"Ach, ye old school pair ne'er were
the only ones with Bones!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#62 ::: Wirelizard ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 06:54 PM:

The Chesire Cat ate p*ssy,
'Til he was worn quite thin,
It left the ladies satisfied,
And explained the non-vanishing grin.

#63 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 07:33 PM:

Pooh and Piglet went exploring,
Found new uses for a stick.
As they shared their toy with Tigger,
Eeyore muttered, "That's just sick."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#64 ::: Liz B. ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 08:40 PM:

Tomoyo gies her Sakura
A bonny little thong.
"I made it for ye specially --
Come, do the barrie on."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

But Sakura she peenges,
"It gripes me sair, this pell!"
"Then do it off," Tomoyo says.
"I'll smouch your nethers well."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#65 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 08:56 PM:

Gollum said to Slothrop, "You're obsessed and you're descending.
Come explore the tunnels with me,
And you'll understand your ending!"

#66 ::: Singing Wren ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 09:53 PM:

This. Is. Awful. (Which makes it far better than a lot of the slash fics out there.)

Oh, Spike and Angel, they were there
Trying not to fight
"If this goes on for too much more
We both will get a bite!"

  An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
  Who’ll slash ye noo?
  The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
  She no will slash ye noo.

Mad Drusilla stood and stared
At Darla and her son
"Why should I pick one of them
When both are much more fun?"

  An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
  Who’ll slash ye noo?
  The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
  She no will slash ye noo.

Harry Dresden, he was there
with his magic staff
Karin Murphy said to him
"You don't do things by half!"

  An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
  Who’ll slash ye noo?
  The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
  She no will slash ye noo.

#67 ::: Paula Helm Murray ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 10:44 PM:

Mary Aileen, above a lot of others, could you please pass the Brain Wash? I really need a cleaning.

#68 ::: BSD ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:04 PM:

Jack Shaftoe brought an entourage
His vagabondish crew
They pulled a train on Daniel
And on Eliza too!

Lina Inverse came to get
Some dinner and a bangin'
She ate up all the canapes
And then screwed a Gold Dragon!

Zel and Xellos came along
With that flame-haired witch
First Xellos topped and then he made
The one-third golem switch!

#69 ::: JM ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:07 PM:

Buffy and Satsu were there
Scratchin’ their favorite itch
Willow gave them a taste of religion,
For they love to lick a witch!


An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

(the end joke came from a magnificently naughty pagan bumper sticker I saw in Boston--cheers!)

#70 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:17 PM:

Paula Helm Murray (67): Here, have my scrub-brush, too.

#71 ::: Dichroic ::: (view all by) ::: August 14, 2008, 11:58 PM:

I can't resist joining in on this one!

Elijah and Daneel were there,
Their passions caught on fire,
'Til Lije had to stop because
A robot *never* tires!

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Lazarus stood disconsolate,
No slashers took a look:
To write him was no challenge,
For it's all there in the book.


An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#72 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 12:17 AM:

Tony's a Tiger when he wants love
Sex with Rice Crispy Elves? "They're Great!"
But he killed and ate Snap, Crackle, and Pop
And now he masturbates

#73 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 02:14 AM:

The Time Patrol keep coming
over and over again.
The temporal loop will finish,
then back for the refrain.

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.

#74 ::: Andrew Plotkin ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 02:16 AM:

Villanelle told Terza Rima / "I don't care if you frak or frell--" / But nineteen fortnights later she / had a baby terzanelle.

An’ it’s who’ll / ye this time Who’ll / ye noo? The lass who /ed ye last, lad, She no will / ye noo.

#75 ::: vito excalibur ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:46 AM:

Uhura had a list of plans
Regarding ways to get off
Each night she liked to have at least
One new item to Chekov.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#76 ::: Tlönista ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:47 AM:

Oh, oh, I'm in hysterics over here!

#77 ::: Naomi Libicki ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 04:54 AM:

Trillian took her two pet mice
And off to space they went
The mice got off, while Beeblebrox
Was probing Arthur's Dent

They met with Slartibartfast
Who had some lovely fjords
He like terraforming planets
And tinkering with Fords

Fenchurch and Lintilla both
found Random cradle-robbable
Where fangirls are concerned, there's nothing
Infinitely improbable

#78 ::: cali ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 06:23 AM:

Methos and rest of the Horsemen
having a ball they were
a-making a daisy chain pretty
and coming in Duncan's hair...

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#79 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 07:09 AM:

He's Popeye the Sailor Man
He wants someone to taste his glans
Olive said no, but Wimpy's a ho
He's yours for a burger and soda can

#80 ::: Sestra ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 09:18 AM:

The Red Dwarf Crew, they all turned up
A smile on every face
For Kryten's groinal attachment
Had certainly stood the pace!

#81 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 12:40 PM:

Lizzie Bennet she was there
Doing a tumbling stunt
Vaulting Mr. Darcy
And landing on Lady Catherine de Bourg.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#82 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:18 PM:

Billy Pilgrim, listen: he was there
Not struggling against his fate
To go back in time looking
For someone's member to tap his prostate

#83 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:19 PM:

Michael Swanwick he was there
Laying out the lessons:
"First dinosaurs, then sodomy,
then stories, then confessions."

An’ it’s who’ll read ye this time
Who’ll read ye noo?
The lass critiqued ye last, lad,
She'll no critique ye noo.

#84 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:20 PM:

(Note: that's not an incitement to RPS.)

#85 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:27 PM:

Spike the Vampire he was there
His bearing patriarchal:
"Though I'm love's bitch I don't do boys
And I don't bloody sparkle."


An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#86 ::: segre ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:37 PM:

George Cowley donned his Highland kilt
To show his sturdy knees
His ginger tackle all a-throb
And swaying in the breeze.

He got an eyeful of the crowd
And, not the type to haver,
He took his manhood in one hand
And prepared to toss his caber.

#87 ::: ajay ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:41 PM:

Is it too late to point out that it's spelled "Kirriemuir"? ...Probably.

#88 ::: Trip the Space Parasite ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:45 PM:

I can't decide whether to award the Internet of Depravity to Mary Aileen @ #63 or Liz B. @ # 64.

#89 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 01:46 PM:

Connor MacLeod was surely there
And ready for some fun
Sayin' "Line up to the left, my lads,
There won't be only one."

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

---------

#87 Is it too late to point out that it's spelled "Kirriemuir"? ...Probably.

It's spelled lots of ways. But I can change the spelling in the post title if the Flurospherians Assembled would like it.

#90 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 02:16 PM:

Oh, and by the way, just now I was Googling on The Ball of Kirriemuir, and found this entirely surreal page:

Experience Project
Share your experience. Experience yourself.

Check out the results below, and then find more about the ball of kirriemuir here at the world's largest true story and life experience archive...

Matching Experiences

It seems no one has created an experience group with this topic yet. Start one today!

Matching Stories

No one has shared their experience with this topic yet.

#91 ::: y ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 02:34 PM:

Lieutenant Sulu, he was there,
And how he raved and roared!
He frightened all the ladies
Every time he bared his sword.

An' it's etc.

#92 ::: JerolJ ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 02:44 PM:

This is the greatest thread in the history of the Internets. Nay, the history of the world.

#93 ::: Steve C. ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:01 PM:

Ginger was diddling Mary Ann
While Gilligan stood ready
The Skipper stared in disbelief
At the professor in his teddy

#94 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:23 PM:

Trip the Space Parasite (88): Ooooh, I never won an internet before. Or even half of one. [sniff] I'm so proud.

#95 ::: Trip the Space Parasite ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:36 PM:

Mary Aileen @ #94: Just make sure you wash it after you use it!

#96 ::: Summer Storms ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 03:58 PM:

It's the Internet. She may want to wash it as soon as she receives it. After all, we know where it's been.

#97 ::: y ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 04:32 PM:

Aral Vorkosigan, he was there,
And feeling mighty warm:
He'd tackle any lad or lass
Who wore a uniform.

An' it's etc.

#98 ::: y ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 04:49 PM:

Estraven's in kemmer,
And waiting in the tent.
Would you rather male or female?
Ai! What a predicament!

An' it's etc.

#99 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 04:59 PM:

We think we're futuristic
Stylish, up to the mark,
But all our Pornotopia
Was foreseen by Arthur Clarke.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.


#100 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 05:12 PM:

Bob Howard and his roommates,
one eldritch threesome scene,
once it all was over
they washed their laundry clean

And it's etc.

#101 ::: Fuchsia ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 05:25 PM:

The Musketeers, all three were there,
Putting on a show
Demonstrating to D'Artagnan,
The art of fellatio.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Ico and Yorda, they were there,
Beating off a shadow
Until it whispered "We may suck,
But we also always swallow."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Vince Noir, yes he was there
With a veritable harem;
Howard getting down to jazz
And thrusting to the rhythm.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Sarah-Jane arrived with Luke,
And covered up his eyes.
"You're far too young for this!" she said,
But he protests and cries.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Sonic the Hedgehog, he was there
Having many flings;
Tails got very jealous
When he took so many rings!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Treguard of Dunshelm, he was there
With a man named Strider.
Treguard fiddled with his knapsack
And pleaded "enter, stranger."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#102 ::: Tatterbots ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 05:45 PM:

Vetinari said to Carrot,
If you can believe it,
"Put that kingly sword away
Or I swear I'll help you sheathe it!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#103 ::: Tatterbots ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 06:15 PM:

Aziraphale and Crowley cheer
The halt of Armageddon
For Earth has one unique delight
They'd hate to be forgettin'

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

And Famine and Pollution heave
With panting lustful breath
But War just shrugs and saunters off
To try a little Death

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Anathema leaps up at the knock -
The witch is found at last!
But who's - Oh well, it must be said
The Antichrist learns fast

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#104 ::: Tatterbots ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 06:47 PM:

And so I have committed slash for the first time in my life. What a peculiar feeling. I love this thread!

#105 ::: R. M. Koske ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 07:02 PM:

#104, Tatterbots -

Aw, virginity lost. How appropriate!

#106 ::: Singing Wren ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 07:27 PM:

At breakfast this morning, I realized that any dirty song worth its, you know, needs at least one clean verse, just for contrast.

Mr. Monk, he was aghast
When he saw the scene.
It was all too much for him
He had to go and clean.

  An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
  Who’ll slash ye noo?
  The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
  She no will slash ye noo.

#107 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 08:58 PM:

Continuing my perversity (sensitive souls, look away now):

In the garden, Owl and Rabbit
Found a most improper book
With the title Kama Sutra.
"Oh," said Kanga, "I can't look!"

(Like Tatterbots, these are my first-ever slash. And I used to have such a *clean* mind.)

#108 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 09:43 PM:

Tatterbots, #103 is almost frightening.

#109 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 09:48 PM:

This can't be complete until someone has carnal knowledge of the plums in the icebox.

#110 ::: merripestin ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 10:00 PM:

glee. just, glee.

Tired Helena Justina
dabbed ointment on her blisters,
she sometimes wished that Marcus
had rather fewer sisters

Petronius and Falco
were so bored in the Legions
they stayed together in their tent
exploring unknown regions

An’ it’s who’ll &c

In the good old days of VFD
Count Olaf went to sea
and for to ward off scurvy
swallowed something Lemony.

Violet, with her hair tied up
(while concealed in an amphora)
invented a strange new device
for pleasing Isadora

An’ it’s who’ll &c

Herne's sex magic is the best
the Sheriff is a harlot
and with tremendous effort
the gang has turned Will Scarlet.

Nasir's the strong and silent type
though not a few have tried.
You see, when he'd be making noise
his mouth's Much occupied.

An’ it’s who’ll &c

(relurks)

#111 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 11:17 PM:

my plums have
just finished
icing
your box

for which
you were probably
saving
for marriage

Forgive me
while I'm lubricious
I'll leave
and not call

#112 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 11:23 PM:

While poets in the parlor
Were chantin' odes an' lays
The plums were in the icebox
(That's what it's called these days)

An’ it’s wha’ll slash ye next time
Wha’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#113 ::: Liza ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 11:24 PM:

*guffaws*

Mike @ 111, you win an Internets. Slightly used, I do recommend washing it.

#114 ::: edward oleander ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 11:30 PM:

The Grinchley Grinch, Oh he was there
He popped right down the flue
He spent the night explaining life
to little Cindy Who

An' it's who'll...

-----------------
An extra half an Internet to merripestin for 107!

#115 ::: Liza ::: (view all by) ::: August 15, 2008, 11:30 PM:

The Baker and the Bellman
Were having such a lark
While playing with the Beaver
They forgot about the Snark!

And it's...

#116 ::: Callisto ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 05:27 AM:

Hair-boy Blair he was there
Wi' an awffy lot o' blether
Of wolves and beasties in the Glen
And a man named Jim in leather.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#117 ::: Callisto ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 06:01 AM:

Hutch the Blintz he was there
So Starsky sidled close
"Ken this Ken, fer yer arse
I've a yen,
Let's get oot of here."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#118 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 06:52 AM:

Persian Xerxes he was there,
Wearin' his spikes an' garters,
"I'm in the mood for Greek," he said,
"300's good for starters."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#119 ::: AmanitaMuscaria ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 07:23 AM:

Severus Snape stalked into the room
His wicked eyes a'sparking
"Bring me Harry Potter here
My pestle needs some farking"

Dumbledore and Gilderoy
Were doing a soft-shoe shuffle
The old man's beard caught in the zip
Caused Gildy to Huffle puffle

#120 ::: Michael I ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 07:37 AM:

Am reminded of the saying that there's slash fanfic of practically any sort somewhere on the internet.

Although usually not all in the same thread...

#121 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 08:18 AM:

Angel the Vampire wasn't there
He sat back in L.A.
Thanks to a pesky gypsy curse
He had to stay away.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#122 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 10:26 AM:

Angua died before she came,
On Carrot's massive root,
"I'LL FINISH YOU OFF RIGHT QUICK," said Death,
"AND THEN MYSELF, TO BOOT."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#123 ::: insect_hooves ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:07 AM:

Then Mal and Kaylee situate
Like new shoes in a shoebox.
Says he, "Strawberries I done ate,
Not cold plums from the icebox."

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#124 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:11 AM:

Fred and Shaggy soon paired off
Daphne and Velma too
The question that's amang them a'
Is who would Scooby Doo?

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#125 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:31 AM:

Frodo Baggins he was there
Along with Sam Gamgee
flipping coins upon the bar
for turns with sweet Rosie

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#126 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:34 AM:

The tales of hero Biggles
Might not be swift or pacy,
But leave it to brash Ginger
To see why Algy's Lacey.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

We know that Simon Templar
Would never shout or squeal,
But look what he is doing
To poor Claude Eustace Teal!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Pity poor Mrs Hudson
Prepares an amuse-bouche
And yet dear Mr Sherlock
He would not gamahuche.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#127 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:34 AM:

Whoever said that puns were the lowest form of humor hadn't seen this thread.

Sorry Serge ;)=

#128 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:41 AM:

... and, of course, as soon as I post I realize I can tweak it to improve the rhyme:

Frodo Baggins he was there
Along with Sam Gamgee
flipping coins up in the air
for turns with sweet Rosie

#129 ::: Melody ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:49 AM:

Witchiepoo was fetching
In furry coat and muff
But Jimmy, he was bent on making
H. R. Pufnstuf

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#130 ::: edward oleander ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 11:54 AM:

All seven Dwarves, yes they were there,
Along with Dear Snow White.
Apple juice went in her drink,
They rode her through the night!

The Cat, all dapper in his Hat,
Said, "Hark, I cannot dally.
First I'll do Thing One and Two,
Then froozle little Sally."

Then Mickey with his dog arrived,
they raised a hoot and holler,
Then Mickey cried, "Pluto, my friend,
My turn to wear the collar!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#131 ::: insect_hooves ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 12:28 PM:

Slash and Axel crashed the gig.
"Though we're not works of fiction,
Your name's already Slash," says Axe,
"Prepare for rearward friction!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#132 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 01:17 PM:

Emma Peel and partner showed
but they could not decide
just what to with whom until
she took Steed for a ride.

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
    Who’ll slash ye noo?
    The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
    She no will slash ye noo.

U.N.C.L.E.'s best was there that night,
to give the ball some class.
Yelled Ilya, dressed as Wellington
"Bone Boni in the ass!"

    An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time, usw

#133 ::: coffeedryad ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 01:50 PM:

Annah the tiefling waved her tail
A smile upon her face
A succubus was teaching her
Just how to Fall-from-Grace.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Morte was in attendance too
A skull but not quite dead
The Nameless One was having fun
He was certainly getting head!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Henry the Eighth, free from his wife
Was partying on the floor
For after divorce, as a matter of course
He'd time to do Thomas More.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#134 ::: insect_hooves ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 01:59 PM:

Harkonen Baron Vladimir
With appetites ferocious,
Implored Paul to Muad his Dib,
Distended and attrocious.

But Paul, with vision prescient,
Was speechless with a mouth 'a
His nemesis's unsheathed crys:
The Baron's heir, Feyd-Rautha.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#135 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 03:22 PM:

"Dinosaurs and sodomy!"
cheers BJ wanting more,
but Barney says that all this fun
makes the purple dino sore

   An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
   Who’ll slash ye noo?
   The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
   She no will slash ye noo.

#136 ::: Mark D. ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 04:30 PM:

Spongebob and Patrick were there!
Though feeling rather rotten
They couldn't resist the chance to find
Who's the real Bikini Bottom.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#137 ::: Mark D. ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 04:31 PM:

Another slash cherry burst....

#138 ::: Summer Storms ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 05:29 PM:

Okay, time to give in:

Donald Duck spied Mickey Mouse
His buttons hanging loosely
And said, "I'll keep you entertained,
While Minnie's fucking Goofy!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#139 ::: Julie L. ::: (view all by) ::: August 16, 2008, 08:28 PM:

Boomer and Athena,
Both sharin' Agathon,
Showed how toasters get red-hot
When you turn them on.

Both Starbucks were buckin'
Their very own Apollos
Then Kara groped around inside
A Cylon Raider's hollows.

After adding Three to Six
In search of number Seven,
D'Anna asked Centurions
To send her into heaven.

Admiral Helena Cain shared bodies
With Ro Laren, Ensign,
While Borgs and Cylons came to blows
With Sixes and Seven of Nine.

#140 ::: Ari ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 01:58 PM:

Not what I’d have guessed if you’d asked me what would make me delurk but here goes:

Sunny, Klaus and Violet
were pleasantly surprised
when Olaf’s Very Full Device
stood, no longer disguised.

Bertie Wooster says to Jeaves
how good this feels is scary
and now I finally understand
why you never let me marry.

And answering the implied question back in #17:

Zoe radios back home
says “scrap your rescue plot
a ravishing by reavers
really hits the spot.

#141 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 03:29 PM:

If from a Jedi master
You wish to learn a skill
His desert robes pull open
And judge him by his size, you will.

     An' who'll this time slash ye 'tis,
     Who'll noo ye slash?
     The lass who lad ye last slashed,
     Slash ye noo will she not.

#142 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 04:31 PM:

Something struck, and probably not one of the muses ... well, maybe it was Mike.

Jo the Ranger, she was there,
doing mighty fine,
getting it on with Sarah the House,
having a wonderful time.

#143 ::: Sigrid Brenner ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 05:09 PM:

You`re better than my Nescafe
moaned Klaus to Dorian Red
The Earl of Gloria just licked his lips
and pulled him in their bed.

#144 ::: Tazlet ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 06:39 PM:

Ares did his brother Herc
with an awesome weapon.
It truely was a godly perc
and they're not done manifestin.'

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.


#145 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: August 17, 2008, 11:18 PM:

Martha went down to Henry's Garage
Looking for some fun:
When she got there the cupboard was bare;
Now the guards at his prison have run.

#146 ::: Sarah K ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 12:21 AM:

The Lioness was rampant
With her longsword in her hand
An' she bested all her comers
From Olau to Trebond land

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Lord John Grey was very gay
To hear such friendly chatter
So to a Scottish Prisoner he
Exposed his Private Matter.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Henry Four made Richard Two
From throne to bent-knee fall
But Richard cried, "My lord, you're mine,
An' I am yours, an' all."

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#147 ::: Kallisti ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 01:50 AM:

Wendy went to Peter Pan
She thought he was quite coy
Said she'd make of him a man
Then called all the lost boys

Singin' balls to your partner
Arse against the wall
If you canna write slash on a saturday nacht
Ye canna write slash at all!

(Apparently J. M. Barrie was born in Kirriemuir)

#148 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 05:58 PM:

The Captain turned to Buttercup,
“Below the deck let’s prance”
But she was busy having fun,
With sisters, cousins, aunts.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Nanki Poo told YumYum,
I’m happy to be dead,
Ask Katishaw to tell you,
Her tricks for giving head.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Fredrick said to Mable,
My past I will renounce,
But she and all her sisters,
Upon pirates did pounce.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#149 ::: y ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 07:22 PM:

Aubrey and Maturin,
They never miss a beat;
When it comes to consolation,
Their nutmeg sure is sweet.

An' it's etc.

You may talk o' rears and vices,
And breeches bending o'er,
But under Lucky Aubrey,
The ladies "ply the oar".

An' it's etc.

You know that poor Maturin's
A husband good and true.
He swears he'll swive Diana
Until his Peter's Blue.

An' it's etc.

#150 ::: Mycroft W ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 08:59 PM:

The Walrus and the Carpenter
reclining in the grass
the Oysters they'd been eating were
attached to T*** and A**

an it's Who'll...

#151 ::: werelemur ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 09:05 PM:

Oh Jamie Bond will boff the girls
again and again and again
but he only takes it up the bum
from Alec Trevelyan

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#152 ::: Mycroft W ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 09:08 PM:

And Mary Eileen, I have you to blame for getting me thinking of my childhood rhymes (argh, now I have Munsch going through my head, even though that's my cousins' childhood. And I don't know if I want to see a verse on his stuff or not, now).

Apologies to everyone else for it not, technically, being /. I'm not a Yaoi Fangirl, even in filk, I guess.

#153 ::: Mike ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 10:23 PM:

The Devil took his fiddle there
Lookin' for where Johnny'd strayed
He offered to let Johnny take a bow to his behind
And be the instrument on which Johnny played

The Devil wasn't asking Johnny to gamble his soul
But instead to indulge in a sin
Johnny said, "Brace yourself, you son of a bitch
I'm the best there's ever been"

#154 ::: Lea ::: (view all by) ::: August 18, 2008, 10:56 PM:

Sarah K wrote:

Henry Four made Richard Two
From throne to bent-knee fall
But Richard cried, "My lord, you're mine,
An' I am yours, an' all."

...WELL PLAYED.

(now I wonder if you're someone I know from lj.)

#155 ::: Michael Turyn ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2008, 02:45 AM:

Floyd stood fondling his mustache
The image of a dandy
The Sheriff grabbed the barber pole
And made him moan, "Oooh, Andy!"

The younger man from "Seconds"
Collapsed in rowdy laughter
Ploughing of his older self
Said, "Look! be-fore, and aft, hurh"

Mason and a mechanical duck
Gave Dixon d**ks and Chronic
Stuck a feather in his bum
And called it macaronic

The Invisible Man snuck up on Hyde
Angry at his rough chumming
He said, "I can't distend him so,"
"But he'll never see me coming!"

Mike Stearns and wild King Gustav
Besported full times seven
The monarch cried, "I must have died,"
"That Anachron is _Heaven_!"

Harold Roarke explained himself
"I'm a c*cksman for the ages,"
"I'll screw young servants 'til I'm done,"
(It took him forty pages)

Inara said to Kaylee
With a twindle in her eye
"My vibrator is busted,"
"You'll replace it if you're sly"

#156 ::: Emi ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2008, 07:40 PM:

Buttercup with the Spaniard
sheathed a fleshy sword
while Westly showed the giant
what else he had learned abroad

#157 ::: werelemur ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2008, 08:17 PM:

Aragorn and Boromir
were really just good friends!
'Twas why they said they'd always be
together in the end.

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

Although his final legacy
remains to be seen,
I wouldn't slash half as much
if it weren't for Sean Bean!

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

Qui-Gon and Windu were
often seen debating;
one might say that they enjoyed
some mutual Master-baiting!

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

Goran said to Medrit I
hate to make you the man on
the spot but is it really slash
if we're a pair in Canon?

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

#158 ::: OtterB ::: (view all by) ::: August 19, 2008, 08:53 PM:

Kim Kinnison was there
And also pal Worsel
Human lensman on the top
For that's universal

An’ it’s, etc.

#159 ::: Nancy C. Mittens ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 08:49 AM:

Ender Wiggins met the Bugs,
They did not find him friend.
Ender Wiggins blew them up;
He was the Bugger's End.

#160 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 10:04 AM:

Hattie left with Choloe,
They were bored by Ray and Buck,
"Why talk about the Antichrist?
Let's find Nicky and f*ck!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#161 ::: Nineveh_uk ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 11:26 AM:

Lord Peter’s tired of Harriet,
Refusal’s lost attraction,
And nobody’s better than Bunter
At giving satisfaction.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#162 ::: sherrold ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 11:31 AM:

I had the pleasure of actually being at a slashy, if not technically slash, con this weekend (Vividcon -- a con for makers and fans of fannish songvids), and spent sometime in the consuite leading a sing-a-long of these. Sadly, the list was only up to 149 at the time, so we missed werelemur's wonderful updating of the chorus:

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

A wonderful singing time was had by all -- thanks so much for all the silliness!

#163 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 01:14 PM:

Robin Hood and Little John
Cross staves inside the glade
Now you know why Marian
Still is known as "Maid".

     Singin' bugger the scansion
     Screw the rhymes an' all
     If you canna get slashed on Making Light
     Ye dinnae exist at all.

Will then turned full Scarlet
As with a single touch
He turned a weedy stripling
Into mighty Much.

     Singin' bugger the scansion
     Screw the rhymes an' all
     If you canna get slashed on Making Light
     Ye dinnae exist at all.

Alan Dale was offering
A trade with Friar Tuck:
"I'll teach you to play the lute
And you teach me to...pray*"

-----
* yaright

#164 ::: Emily Shore ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 01:16 PM:

Brian Epstein he was there
And rocking to the beat
Said "John and George have gone off with Paul
I'll have to make do with Pete"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#165 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 05:32 PM:

Mary and Laura spent their day,
Playing on the prarie,
While Pa and Mr. Edwards
Judged who was the better fairy

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.


#166 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 08:02 PM:

"We are rough men, we live rough lives"
The Pirate King proclaimed,
But Fredrick's Ruth lined up the men,
And rough-rode them her way.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#167 ::: Lis Riba ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 09:24 PM:

Lupin's getting Sirius,
While Potter's going stag,
Fawning after any dear
Who might give him a shag.

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Tish provokes her Gomez,
exhorts him to molest 'er.
Pugsley does his own Thing,
And Lurch is doing Fester.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.
Last Tuesday, Wednesday Addams
Hooked up with Thursday Next.
Friday Baldwin menaged to prove
They're not the weeker sex.
An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#168 ::: Julie L. ::: (view all by) ::: August 20, 2008, 10:00 PM:

When hunting quail in Texas,
Give Cheney lots of space--
Or else you might get blinded
When Dick shoots at your face.

That wabbit may be wascally
And oft-inclined to mock,
But even when he's dressed in drag,
He'll show you what's up, doc!

Anthy shows Utena
just how her garden grows;
Though "yuri" may mean "lily",
They'd rather stem the rose.

#169 ::: Chris ::: (view all by) ::: August 21, 2008, 02:02 PM:

Young King Caspian, he was there,
But Lucy turned quite pale
When she found him, Ed, and Eustace
Polishing Reepicheep's tail.

An' its…

#170 ::: hagsrus ::: (view all by) ::: August 21, 2008, 04:55 PM:

Daft Wullie said "I'm off tae bed
"Wi'Horace, if ye please.
"I'll never have a kelda
"But crivens! I love cheese!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#171 ::: Chris ::: (view all by) ::: August 22, 2008, 01:29 PM:

This is disturbingly addictive once you get started.

Please take choruses as read.

The younger Styric gods were there,
All ten times ten times ten,
And when Ehlana'd done them all
She started round again.

And Tristram Shandy, he was there,
His mouth was rather full;
His Jenny he'd abandoned for
A tale of cock and bull.

And Uncle Toby's battle wound
Was out for all to see.
"I will not say Namur," he cried,
"'Tis plenty more for me"

The Chalet girls will all be there
If they can find a way to,
But won't they be surprised to see
Herr Anserl teaching Plato?

So Len was licking Ruey out,
And Jack was kissing Jem,
And Margot, missing Emerence,
Was making do with Clem.

John Gilpin was a citizen
Of London, brave and true.
He rode a borrowed horse, and then
He rode its owner too.

The Swallows and the Amazons,
The Callums too, were there,
And Susan and her sister
Got their Titties out to share.

And Peggy was up dancing
Like a wild cat in a thong,
While Nancy did her very best
To Swallow Captain John.

And also Port and Starboard,
In bikinis, green and red.
They specialised in threesomes,
And excelled at giving head.

And Alice through the looking glass,
She brought the Jabberwock;
As well as jaws and claws, it has
A throbbing monster cock!

But Alice's white rabbit
Often makes her late, she fears;
It's not because his watch has stopped,
It's those vibrating ears!

#172 ::: Chris ::: (view all by) ::: August 22, 2008, 01:48 PM:

Captains Jack and John were there,
Playing a game of Man On,
But whoever you pair Jack Harkness with,
It isn't slash, it's canon!

Singin' ass to your partner
balls against the wall!
If ye cannae get slashed on Livejournal
ye cannae get slashed at all!

#173 ::: londonbard ::: (view all by) ::: August 22, 2008, 07:01 PM:

Oh Gollum brought his Precious there,
to hear the Elven sing.
And then he buggered half the tribe -
He's always after ring...

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Thomas the engine he was there,
Showing his towering funnel,
the time-table was wrecked when he
Caught Gordon in the tunnel!

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

(another "Slash virginity" gone.)

#174 ::: londonbard ::: (view all by) ::: August 22, 2008, 07:47 PM:

The Fat Controller he was there,
With shock he gave a scream,
But Thomas said, "I'm helping
all my friends to let off steam!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

Oh Rupert Giles was there as well,
Along with Ethan Rayne,
He said, "I usually like to Watch,
but now I'll play the game!"

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#175 ::: londonbard ::: (view all by) ::: August 23, 2008, 05:27 AM:

The Tardis met a Moya
they were much inclined to tup.
It's said that Dr. Who will get
a fortune for the pup!

An' it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

The Loch Ness Monster she was there,
a-chewing on a Warg.
She said, "Just let me finish this,
I'll get it on with Smaug!

(Chorus)

The Pratchett hedgehog he was there,
but rolled into a ball,
He cried, "I tried, but hedgehogs
cannot be buggered at all!"

(Chorus)

Professor Freud was there as well,
the female types to mock.
He said, "Now it's no secret that
I much prefer a cock!"

singing who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#176 ::: Panikos ::: (view all by) ::: August 23, 2008, 03:46 PM:

I may have lost the plot. My poor attempts may crash and burn, but they do say that plunging in is the only way to learn

Desmond he's a sailor
skilled in knots and bows
He likes to lick young charlie
his head down to his toes

Jack was kneeling in the sand
by Boone who was unmoving
Jack took his pillbox in his hand
and squirted something soothing

Jack saw the net a swinging
and who was its last catch
He took the chance and entered
John Lockes wide open hatch

And it's who'll slash ye this time
Who'll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo

#177 ::: Ursula L ::: (view all by) ::: August 23, 2008, 04:03 PM:

Smurfette sat the party out
Let the boys have their fun
Being a girl Smurf is tiring
When you're the only one!

#178 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: August 25, 2008, 09:51 AM:

abi @ 163

If you canna get slashed on Making Light
Ye dinnae exist at all.

Now that's tee shirt worthy, if anything ever was. One gold-plated internet, coming up.

#179 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: September 12, 2008, 12:59 PM:

Annie felt so lonely,
she asked "Oh where is Zak?"
He was with the Caponians,
so she just took the yak.

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#180 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: September 12, 2008, 01:38 PM:

HOW did I completely miss this thread at the time???? I can't imagine. This is great stuff. Now I just have to think up some good slash pairings myself.

#181 ::: londonbard ::: (view all by) ::: September 13, 2008, 09:04 PM:

Oh Nanny Ogg was there as well
a'skyclad in the coven.
She said, now don't tell Esme,
for she's never one for lovin'

singing, who'll slash ye this time ...

#182 ::: londonbard ::: (view all by) ::: September 14, 2008, 05:49 AM:

Oh the plums are in the icebox,
but they're not so cool and nice.
They're made into American Pie,
with lots of extra spice...

(Chorus)

#183 ::: enigel ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2008, 02:18 PM:

Klaus von dem Eberbach was there
Glaring at them all
Dorian stole his heart and made
His Iron Curtain fall

(Chorus)

McKay and Sheppard too were there
Having quite a ball
Don't Ask, or they would have to tell
They weren't there at all

(Chorus)

How Shep and Rodney got it on
Many stories told
Of true love found through sex for which
The aliens were at fault

(Chorus)

#184 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: October 30, 2008, 03:30 PM:

#174, first verse:
is he a switch engine?

#185 ::: Janet Brennan Croft ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:41 AM:

The Waco Kid and Sherrif Bart
Thought Mongo's protest fake;
They hauled him off to Hollywood
And taught 'im the French Mistake!

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#186 ::: James D. Macdonald ::: (view all by) ::: October 03, 2009, 09:06 PM:

Tuck the Turtle he was there
And so was Ming-Ming Duck.
They got up on the table
Just to show how friends can cooperate.

#187 ::: Cally ::: (view all by) ::: October 03, 2009, 10:16 PM:

Lucy Van Pelt held the ball
for Charlie Brown to kick,
But Linus had a better lure:
"Come here and suck my dick!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

#188 ::: Rymenhild ::: (view all by) ::: October 04, 2009, 12:23 AM:

Kareen and Mark went to the Orb
To learn some Betan knowledge;
"Now, this is why," Kareen declared,
"I went away to college!"

And it's...

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