Having surmised (probably correctly) that “sometime around early afternoon tomorrow, tens of millions of liberals will begin a process of complete and total panic over the possibility of Obama losing,” Spencer Ackerman and Megan Carpentier present a fine compendium of reasons to calm the fuck down. Favorite bit:
MEGAN: It does warm the cockles of my heart that the majority of white people aren’t stupid racists. One more blow to the Southern Strategy, Republimorons. Yeah, we noticed you thinkin’ we’re all racists, it might only have taken 40 years, but many of us are sort of peeved that you think we’re so stupid. Those that aren’t, well, those are the people yelling the n-word at your rallies and the rest of White American would like to disavow them. We’d like to be Peach America, or Light-Brown America, which is a more accurate description of our skin tone, and they can be White America, as in the hoods they’ll likely take up wearing again on November 5th. Actually, maybe we can just tag ‘em with a big white “R” on all their clothes, so we know the Krazy is Komin’ Kwik.
SPENCER: Do Crayola crayons still call the peach-colored crayon “flesh”? If so, THAT ALL ENDS UNDER PRESIDENT OBAMA. [LOL -Ed.]
MEGAN: No, they stopped doing that ages ago. Maybe they can make an special Obama pack, with ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW.John Scalzi, of course, was on this beat days ago.