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November 3, 2008

Good News / Bad News
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 04:15 PM * 102 comments

The good news is that Disemvoweling is on Time Magazine’s list of the 50 best inventions of 2008 (debuting at the #42 spot).

The great thing about the Internet is that people can say whatever they want on it. Which is also the terrible thing about the Internet, because comments on blogs and in other online forums can be incredibly annoying, not to mention hate-filled and obscene. How can moderators walk the line between unregulated anarchy and oppressive censorship? Some have begun discouraging problem commenters by simply removing the vowels from their posts, a process known as disemvoweling. The offending message is rendered less obnoxious, but it’s still possible for other readers to decipher it — f thy rlly wnt t.

The bad news is that they didn’t credit Disemvoweling to Ms. Teresa Nielsen Hayden, who invented Disemvoweling as a moderation technique at or about 2:53 PM on November the 21st, 2002.

Teresa devised the method in order to deal with persistent troll Philip Shropshire in this thread.

The name “Disemvoweling” was coined by Arthur D. Hlavaty shortly afterward.

In the six years since then Disemvoweling has spread all over the Web as moderators noticed its many advantages.

Comments on Good News / Bad News:
#1 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:43 PM:

Dmn, tht's nnyng. Hw's th syng go?

"Thr s n lmt t th gd y cn d f y dn't cr wh gts th crdt."

(Gnrl Grg C. Mrshll)

#2 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:44 PM:

(Grmbl. Mssd n lttr.)

#3 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:46 PM:

N, 'y' s sf t lv n. (Dng, t's hrd t dsmvwl whl tpng.)

#4 ::: Xopher ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:52 PM:

P J, t ws th lttr t th nd f lbtrss's frst ln, nt th ys.

#5 ::: Skwid ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:54 PM:

Tht s wk sc, ndd. Y wr rbbd, Trs!

#6 ::: Will "scifantasy" Frank ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 04:54 PM:

'm jst gld tht Jm's rgnl pst wsn't tslf dsmvwld. Tht wld hv bn mpssbl t rd.

r, t lst, rlly, rlly, nnyng.

#7 ::: David Dyer-Bennet ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:01 PM:

Shldnt th pstrphs b rmvd s wll, whn thy rprsnt vwls?

#8 ::: Julie ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:01 PM:

Wll, crp. Sh dsrvs crdt.

(Ys, t s dmn hrd t dsmvwl onslf whl tpng, sn't t? f crs, th whl d f dsmvwlng onslf s gggl-ndcng.)

#9 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:05 PM:

Xphr: dng, mssd t. Sd t ws hrd.

#10 ::: Auds ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:07 PM:

OMG this is hilarious, even if I can't read half the comments. But then, that's half the fun! And where was this technique when I was dealing with trolls on my blog, recently?

#11 ::: Auds ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:09 PM:

Sorry for the second comment, but I was just thinking how much the comments with no vowel look like they were written in Welsh. You think it's hard to read, try speaking it! I'm married to someone who is British, but part Welsh as well.

#12 ::: David Dyer-Bennet ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:10 PM:

Auds@10: right here. Since 2002. As was stated in the base article.

#13 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:14 PM:

Dvd Dyr-Bnnt @7
Shldnt th pstrphs b rmvd s wll, whn thy rprsnt vwls?

Spkng prsnll, hvn't tndd t rmv pncttn. Th pr rdr nds vr vlbl hnt t dcd dsmvwlld txt.

d rmv y's whn thy srv s vwls rthr thn cnsnnts. Ths th "20.5* ltr kybrd (* nd smtms y)"

n dy pln t wrt th dfntv bk bt dsmvwllng, n whch wll "rdscvr" th tr rgns f th tchnqe. t wn't b bstsllr nlss ths rgns r lst, thgh.

#14 ::: Mtt ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:15 PM:

Wht crppy thng fr thm t d. Trs shld smck thm wth shvl nd stl thr cks! Snd thm t bd wtht cks! Tht wll tch thm!

#15 ::: Will "scifantasy" Frank ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:16 PM:

b@13: Thn y'r wll n yr wy, n?

#16 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:18 PM:

t wld b fscntng prgrmmng prjct t ttmpt t wrt rmvwllr. Nt tht th dsmvwlld nd th xpsr, bt smpl t s f t cld b dn.

#17 ::: Jonathan Shaw ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:19 PM:

ds @ 11: m, Wls s n Brtn

#18 ::: jdparadise ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:20 PM:

i u ae o ouiae e e o ieooa...

#19 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:20 PM:

Wll @15:
Thn y'r wll n yr wy, n?

Ys, bcs SCRTL wrt fr Tm mgzn, MWHHHHH! S 'm nvlvd n th cvrp.

nd snc n n cn rd dsmvwlld txt, m scrt s sf!

MWHHHHH, sy gn.

#20 ::: Will "scifantasy" Frank ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:22 PM:

b@19: B hnst. Y jst md tht pst s y cld sy "MWHHHHH," ddn't y?

#21 ::: wll shttrl ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:25 PM:

Pafef yi oat oy g pafe jgug gu se s oat pyyq pafe. Zl qfzijyyat opz f szf f Ojqyemat.

#22 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:30 PM:

Wll @20:

B hnst. Y jst md tht pst s y cld sy "MWHHHHH," ddn't y?

Gt t n n.

#23 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:32 PM:

wll shttrl @21:

Nt tht, lthgh dffrnt vws n th sbjct f dsmvwllng r fn, y wll b RT-13'd f y gt rd, r tr t prs (yt gn) th spcfc mttr tht gt y s wrkd p lst tm.

N thrdjckng, pls.

#24 ::: Fragano Ledgister ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:39 PM:

Tm Mgzn s, s sl, d lt nd svrl dllrs shrt.

#25 ::: wll shttrl ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:41 PM:

Qfzijyyat cyf eg-13at se gu aya pafefuc ja!

#26 ::: Paul ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:41 PM:

t's pty tht thy ddn't gv prpr crdt, bt do rmmbr th dys f dr Phllp. Trs's sltn ws lgnt nd ffctv.

#27 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 05:51 PM:

wll shttrl @25:

nd yt dspt ths drdfl cnsrshp tchnq w r hvng ths cnvrstn. Prtt pr cnsrshp, thn.

W hv dscssd - xtnsvl - yr vws, nd y jst gt rdr nd ngrr vr tm. Y knw tht y'r nt prsdng nn hr. Wht, prcsl, r y trng t chv, thn?

Prsnll, lkd rdng yr cmmts whn y wr nt bng rd nd ngr ll th tm. Bt f ll y hv t sy ths dys s tht y fl y hv bn ll-sd (n nthr st, mnths g), thn myb t's tm t mv n.

n shrt, f y cn't b cvl, b bsnt. f y cn nvr b cvl, sty wy. 'll mss y, bt 'll mss th ld y.

#28 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:06 PM:

Th prblm wth thrd lk ths s tht pstrs dn't hv t wrry bt bng dsmvwld nymr. S 'm nt sr wthr t s gd d t g n lk ths fr lng, wth r mdrtrs mssng n f thr mst mprtnt tls.

#29 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:13 PM:

Rphl @28:

Dn't wrr. W stll hv RT-13, bnnng, nd f crs th smpl frc f wrds. f thr wr nl n tl tht kpt th td f ncvlt bck, w wld b lrd lst.

n shrt, dn't lt t spl yr fn.

#30 ::: Jon Meltzer ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:16 PM:

#18: i u ae o ouiae e e o ieooa...

tng tng, wll wll bng bng ...

#31 ::: wll shttrl ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:18 PM:

Ecuy, sefg ijyf e oaaq, ga pafagf. Gu pafe pa yjlf fyap geoyfz gutugf.

#32 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:24 PM:

wll, thr s dffrnc btwn thghts, nd th lck thrf.

#18: Ae ou o e eaa? eau a ou ie ei aioa ae i aoi.

#33 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:27 PM:

Thy cm frst fr th vwls nd ddn't spk p bcs ws nt vwl.

e e ae o e ooa a I i ea u eaue I a o a ooa.

Y?

#34 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:27 PM:

wll shttrl @31:

Dn't y mn:
Frst thy cm fr m vwls...

Bng lttl vrl-drmtc, rn't w? Ths s wht mnt bt mssng th ld y, th slf-dprctng y, wth th sns f hmr.

Rmnd m gn hw ths s cnsrshp, snc w'r hvng ths cnvrstn?

n scnd tht, dn't bthr. Snc y cn't b cvl, g wy. Rll. Jst g wy ntl y r wllng t hv dcnt cnvrstn. t's bg ntrnt; fnd smwhr ls t ply.

#35 ::: jy ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:36 PM:

Stdy n, b. Dn't thnk wll ws bng ntrly srs.

Mst sy tht ths thrd s crtnly mkng m wrk hrd! Smwht wrrd tht f pst t mch hr, th hbt f wrtng wtht vwls wll stck wth m, wth cnsqncs fr my blty t d m jb...

F thngs d gt bnxs hr, prhps stbl pnshmnt cd b rnvwlng! Bat woth duffiront viwols? Thi ibjoctuve wauld bo nat ti miko thi uffindar onriadible, bot ti maku hum rodicelaus...

#36 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:42 PM:

Y knw wht? Fck t.

Wll, y'v mr thn usd p m ptnc, cmng n hr nd pssng ll vr an thrws plsnt nd fnn thrd. f y ct lk trll, nd tlk lk trll, y'r trll. Cngrtltns.

nyn wh wnts t rd wll's whnng cn rt-13 t.

#37 ::: wll shttrl ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:45 PM:

Ecuy, g'f ag qfgapga pafef pe og.

o @34, zgga f ag pyieaff. g'f ay zgga.

w @34, x, x!

#38 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:47 PM:

jy @35:
Wll ws (dn s) bng ntrl srs; ths s nt th frst thrd h's cm nt n rdr t whn bt smthng tht hppnd n BngBng rlr ths yr. t's thrdjckng, pln nd smpl, brngng dspt frm nthr st hr bc h fls tht h cn't gt stsfctn lswhr.

s fr rnvwlng? Th cmmnts, nd th rdnss bhnd thm, dn't nspr m t spnd tht knd f tm n t.

#39 ::: John Houghton ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 06:48 PM:

Y knw, thr ws tm whn Hbrw ddn't vn hv dcrtcls t mrk vwls.

#40 ::: Renatus ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:19 PM:

Hbb hrss r nl fn fr th ppl rdng thm.

Ths thrd s ncrdbl strng. Srrl, vn.

#41 ::: -dsr- ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:36 PM:

ts s n gr l tht ds mf kksk bkkppng s s wrd nd chllng wrds f cnt xpldng. wht f dclrd 'y' vwl nd sm mssplng mssng wrds? ys, thrw tht n n s rngr, ddsm dsnt hlp t ll.

#42 ::: Dena Shunra ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:37 PM:

Jn@39 t stll dsnt, xcpt n ptry nd rlgs txts.

t mks fr hck f chllng whn y trnscrb nms nt r t f t.

#43 ::: Julie ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:41 PM:

nyn ls ntc tht dsmvwlng s #42?

Hmmmm.....

#44 ::: Lin D ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 07:49 PM:

hvnt rd vrythng yt, bt cn't stp lghng!!

YMNK!!

#45 ::: Nenya ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 08:31 PM:

Ww, dsmvwlmnt s sx yrs ld?? Hw tm fls.

(Hmm, s t sr t tp wtht vwls, r tk thm t ftrwrd?)

#46 ::: Paula Lieberman ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 08:48 PM:

Vowels for sale or rent,
Trolls to stomp with cement,
When incivilty,
Starts threat'ning see the glee,
There's a moderator whom we love,
She invented ways to shove
The trolling hordes to laugh at,
Disemvow'lling!

While trolls can clear a room,
Kill a channel like a broom,
They're a vicious threat and menace
'Til disemvow'll'd!

Now every on-online forum is fraught
With censorship or gone to naught,
But with disemvow'lling present,
They're put to shame and heaped with blame--

Vowels for sale or rent,
Trolls to stomp with cement,
When they forfeit vowels,
We all have fun!

#47 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 08:51 PM:

Anyone come up with any good sentences that can be re-emvowelled more than one way?

I was not able to do much better than

Spice, the finial furniture.

#48 ::: Constance ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 08:59 PM:

Dang, that's just -- wrong!

She thought of it and devised and implemented it, did it first, and demonstrated thereby how effective this tactic is.

Love, C.

#49 ::: Mz ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:02 PM:

Yy TNH! B Tm!
<sgh>   Th'   prfr t spll t “dsmvwllng” r “dsmvwllmnt”. Jst bcs t lks bttr t m. 'm sre 've sn t splt tht wy rnd hr smtms. h wll.  f lts f s tll Tme, d'y thk thy'd bthr ddng   n pdt/crrctn/crdt/cknwldgmnt?

ntrstng t cntmplt tht mny rly systms f wrtng jst rcrdd th cnsnntl ‘skltn’ f th wrds. Y cn mgn frm rdng ths cmmnts wht grnd fn ths gvs th ppl tryng t dcphr thm, lt ln wrk t wht th lngg snded lk.

Sm crrnt wrtng systms r smlr: rbc nd Hbrw ndct vwls wth mrks bv (nd blw?) th wrds.   thnk thr r thrs (KCML), nd bbrvtns ftn wrk th sm wy. D y thnk flnt rdrs f ths lnggs wld rd dsmvwlld txt rdly? Then there's the issue of Hawaiian …

Mtt #14 - TNH ftn wlds th 2x4 clstck, nd hs mny shrp blds, bth fn nd frt n hr rmry.   dmr th wy sh clls   spd   spd. Sh prbly kps shvls t dl wth sl r mnr n thr prpr wy, rthr thn fr sslt.

Mchl #16 -  'm crtn smn mntned   rmvwllr nrby rcntly. Lk spllchckr, t hd sggstd smthng msng fr n wrd.

#50 ::: Mez ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:21 PM:

Paula (#46), Love it. God Save Teresa! and heaven help the trolls.

#51 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:21 PM:

nw thrd rs wtht vwls
prvkng bth smls nd scwls
thgh th thrd's hrd t rd
thy ll fllwd my ld
nd rfsd t thrw n ll thr twls

#52 ::: Michael ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:23 PM:

Mz: #16: mst hv mssd t. Thts th d, pssbly wth sm hnts bt sntnc strctr t mk ntllgnt gsss.

#53 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:32 PM:

Q'st-c q s pss?

#54 ::: albatross ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:33 PM:

Mchl #52:

Th thrd ws "Tm Ntcs Cmnts". Prhps w shld ct thm sm slck; thy'v nly knwn cmmnts xstd fr fw mnths.

#55 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:36 PM:

C'st rdcl!

#56 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 09:36 PM:

nd fr TM t thnk t ws nvntd n 2008 (r shld tht b 28?) s jst s bd, MH. fthr Klvt ls dsrvs hs crdt ln. ddd dsmvwlng t th ntrnt Tmln wbst (ww, dsmvwlng rls wld b t crl!), gvng pprprt crdt.

#57 ::: Don Fitch ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 11:32 PM:

I'm not about to try to read all these sepukued messages, and so will risk repeating things others may have said.

We will always remember the /f/i/f/t/h/ third of November posting that started this thread, and when the time comes for the OED to add "disemvowel" we should be firm in reminding the Editors of its origin.

If there isn't computer software that will automatically disemvowel a passage of text, as there are to handle Pig-Latin and rot-13 (&cet.), Questions Should Be Asked. (We should not, however, expect software capable of re-emvowelling such eviscerated text. *sigh*)

#58 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 11:38 PM:

ps, "rthr" -- dsmvwld txt s hrdr t prfrd, t.

#59 ::: Wr ::: (view all by) ::: November 03, 2008, 11:59 PM:

Wll, y thnk tht y wll wrt t Tm Mgzn nd sk tht th cknwldg th mssn. t's nly fr.

#60 ::: Lin D ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 12:20 AM:

wrt t Tm Mgzn. Pntd thm hr. f ngh f s wrt, myb thy'll gv prpr crdt. (yh rght)

#61 ::: Pl Dncnsn ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 12:22 AM:

Don @ 57: Questions need not be asked. There are auto-disemvowellers out there in many forms - plug-ins, stand-alone apps and web forms - and even an auto re-emvoweller which finds an awful lot of words to be too uncertain to give you really useful results.

#62 ::: whmp ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 12:36 AM:

A flt r-mvwllr wll b rspnsbl fr a ftr wr.

#63 ::: heresiarch ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 12:51 AM:

thnk t's mrk f rlly grt nvntn, whn th nvntr s frgttn. Ppl jst thnk, wll f crs tht's th wy t's dn! t's th nly snsbl wy t d t.

hp tht smdy, dcds frm nw, smn stmbls crss ths pst nd rlzs tht dsmvwllng ws nvntd by smn, nd ss thr dscvry s n xmpl f th dngrs f prptl cpyrght.

#64 ::: Patrick Connors ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 01:21 AM:

If truly irritated, disemvowel, then arrange in five character groupings (as is traditional in crypto). Like so:

ftrly rrttd dsmvw lthnr rngnf vchrc trgrp
ngsss trdtn lncry ptlks

I'd save that up for an extra special troll. H'mm, I guess I ought to write the Perl script.

#65 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 01:51 AM:

"Wh nt b hpp?" goes to both "Why not be happy?" and "Why not be a hippie?", for a quick example, Erik.

#66 ::: Dave Bell ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 03:25 AM:

Wll smbdy dsmvwl "Whs n frst?"?

#67 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 06:37 AM:

Mrd! C cntn!

#68 ::: Steve Taylor ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 06:43 AM:

Pl Dncnsn at #61 writes:

> and even an auto re-emvoweller which finds an awful lot of words to be too uncertain to give you really useful results.

I do wish it was better at guessing - perhaps the next version of it will be - but just wanted to make sure you knew that clicking on the blue ("uncertain") words brings up a list of possibles. Still not as good as getting it right of course, but somewhat useful.

#69 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 06:47 AM:

Vt jrdh!

#70 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 09:44 AM:

Steve Taylor @68: I do wish it was better at guessing - perhaps the next version of it will be

So Ken MacLeod was wrong when he predicted that if we ever get artificial intelligence, it will come from the fight between spammers and spam filters?

#71 ::: jdparadise ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 11:21 AM:

#33 - brilliant. snort-out-loud-at-work brilliant. thanks!

#72 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 11:45 AM:

#66
sk nd y shll rcv:

bbtt: Wll Cstll, 'm gng t Nw Yrk wth y. Y knw Bcky Hrrs, th Ynk's mngr, gv m jb s cch fr s lng s y'r n th tm.
Cstll: Lk bbtt, f y'r th cch, y mst knw ll th plyrs.
bbtt: crtnly d.
Cstll: Wll y knw 'v nvr mt th gys. S y'll hv t tll m thr nms, nd thn 'll knw wh's plyng n th tm.
bbtt: h, 'll tll y thr nms, bt y knw t sms t m thy gv ths bll plyrs nw--dys vry pclr nms.
Cstll: Y mn fnny nms?
bbtt: Strng nms, pt nms ... lk Dzzy Dn ...
Cstll: Hs brthr Dffy.
bbtt: Dffy Dn ...
Cstll: nd thr Frnch csn.
bbtt: Frnch?
Cstll: Gf.
bbtt: Gf Dn. Wll,lt's s, w hv n th bgs, Wh's n frst, Wht's n scnd, Dn't Knw s n thrd...
Cstll: Tht's wht wnt t fnd t.
bbtt: sy Wh's n frst, Wht's n scnd, Dn't Knw's n thrd.
Cstll: r y th mngr?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: Y gnn b th cch t?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: nd y dn't knw th fllws' nms?
bbtt: Wll shld.
Cstll: Wll thn wh's n frst?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: mn th fllw's nm.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy n frst.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th frst bsmn.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy plyng...
bbtt: Wh s n frst!
Cstll: 'm skng Y wh's n frst.
bbtt: Tht's th mn's nm.
Cstll: Tht's wh's nm?
bbtt: Ys.
Cstll: Wll g hd nd tll m.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Tht's wh?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, y gtt frst bsmn?
bbtt: Crtnly.
Cstll: Wh's plyng frst?
bbtt: Tht's rght.
Cstll: Whn y py ff th frst bsmn vry mnth, wh gts th mny?
bbtt: vry dllr f t.
Cstll: ll 'm tryng t fnd t s th fllw's nm n frst bs.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy tht gts...
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Wh gts th mny...
bbtt: H ds, vry dllr. Smtms hs wf cms dwn nd cllcts t.
Cstll: Whs wf?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
bbtt: Wht's wrng wth tht?
Cstll: Lk, ll wnn knw s whn y sgn p th frst bsmn, hw ds h sgn hs nm?
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Th gy.
bbtt: Wh.
Cstll: Hw ds h sgn...
bbtt: Tht's hw h sgns t.
Cstll: Wh?
bbtt: Ys.
[PS]
Cstll: ll 'm tryng t fnd t s wht's th gy's nm n frst bs.
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd bs.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst.
Cstll: n bs t tm!
bbtt: Wll, dn't chng th plyrs rnd.
Cstll: 'm nt chngng nbdy!
bbtt: Tk t sy, bddy.
Cstll: 'm nly skng y, wh's th gy n frst bs?
bbtt: Tht's rght.
Cstll: k.
bbtt: ll rght.
[PS]
Cstll: Wht's th gy's nm n frst bs?
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt: H's n thrd, w'r nt tlkng bt hm.
Cstll: Nw hw dd gt n thrd bs?
bbtt: Why y mntnd hs nm.
Cstll: f mntnd th thrd bsmn's nm, wh dd sy s plyng thrd?
bbtt: N. Wh's plyng frst.
Cstll: Wht's n frst?
bbtt: Wht's n scnd.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt: H's n thrd.
Cstll: Thr g, bck n thrd gn!
[PS]
Cstll: Wld y jst sty n thrd bs nd dn't g ff t.
bbtt: ll rght, wht d y wnt t knw?
Cstll: Nw wh's plyng thrd bs?
bbtt: Why d y nsst n pttng Wh n thrd bs?
Cstll: Wht m pttng n thrd.
bbtt: N. Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: Y dn't wnt wh n scnd?
bbtt: Wh s n frst.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr:Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, y gtt tfld?
bbtt: Sr.
Cstll: Th lft fldr's nm?
bbtt: Why.
Cstll: jst thght 'd sk y.
bbtt: Wll, jst thght 'd tll y.
Cstll: Thn tll m wh's plyng lft fld.
bbtt: Wh's plyng frst.
Cstll: 'm nt... sty t f th nfld! wnt t knw wht's th gy's nm n lft fld?
bbtt: N, Wht s n scnd.
Cstll: 'm nt skng y wh's n scnd.
bbtt: Wh's n frst!
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr: Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Th lft fldr's nm?
bbtt: Why.
Cstll: Bcs!
bbtt: h, h's cntrfld.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, Y gtt ptchr n ths tm?
bbtt: Sr.
Cstll: Th ptchr's nm?
bbtt: Tmrrw.
Cstll: Y dn't wnt t tll m tdy?
bbtt: 'm tllng y nw.
Cstll: Thn g hd.
bbtt: Tmrrw!
Cstll: Wht tm?
bbtt: Wht tm wht?
Cstll: Wht tm tmrrw r y gnn tll m wh's ptchng?
bbtt: Nw lstn. Wh s nt ptchng.
Cstll: 'll brk yr rm, y sy wh's n frst! wnt t knw wht's th ptchr's nm?
bbtt: Wht's n scnd.
Cstll: dn't knw.
bbtt & Cstll Tgthr: Thrd bs!
[PS]
Cstll: Gtt ctchr?
bbtt: Crtnly.
Cstll: Th ctchr's nm?
bbtt: Tdy.
Cstll: Tdy, nd tmrrw's ptchng.
bbtt: Nw y'v gt t.
Cstll: ll w gt s cpl f dys n th tm.
[PS]
Cstll: Y knw 'm ctchr t.
bbtt: S thy tll m.
Cstll: gt bhnd th plt t d sm fncy ctchng, Tmrrw's ptchng n my tm nd hvy httr gts p. Nw th hvy httr bnts th bll. Whn h bnts th bll, m, bng gd ctchr, 'm gnn thrw th gy t t frst bs. S pck p th bll nd thrw t t wh?
bbtt: Nw tht's th frst thng y'v sd rght.
Cstll: dn't vn knw wht 'm tlkng bt!
[PS]
bbtt: Tht's ll y hv t d.
Cstll: s t thrw th bll t frst bs.
bbtt: Ys!
Cstll: Nw wh's gt t?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
[PS]
Cstll: Lk, f thrw th bll t frst bs, smbdy's gtt gt t. Nw wh hs t?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Wh?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Ntrlly?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: S pck p th bll nd thrw t t Ntrlly.
bbtt: N y dn't, y thrw th bll t Wh.
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's dffrnt.
Cstll: Tht's wht sd.
bbtt: Y'r nt syng t...
Cstll: thrw th bll t Ntrlly.
bbtt: Y thrw t t Wh.
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Tht's wht sd!
bbtt: Y sk m.
Cstll: thrw th bll t wh?
bbtt: Ntrlly.
Cstll: Nw y sk m.
bbtt: Y thrw th bll t Wh?
Cstll: Ntrlly.
bbtt: Tht's t.
Cstll: Sm s y! Sm s Y! thrw th bll t wh. Whvr t s drps th bll nd th gy rns t scnd. Wh pcks p th bll nd thrws t t Wht. Wht thrws t t Dn't Knw. Dn't Knw thrws t bck t Tmrrw, Trpl ply. nthr gy gts p nd hts lng fly bll t Bcs. Why? dn't knw! H's n thrd nd dn't gv drn!
bbtt: Wht?
Cstll: sd dn't gv drn!
bbtt: h, tht's r shrtstp.

#73 ::: Clifton Royston ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:26 PM:

"Wh nt b hpp?" goes to both "Why not be happy?" and "Why not be a hippie?"

And "Why not buy a hippo?", a sensible question indeed.

#74 ::: RMKrist/PurpleGirl ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:26 PM:

Gotta fix the home computer... I can't spend the time needed to read this thread at the office. But from first glance it looks quite funny.

Sorry, Teresa, that you didn't get due credit.

#75 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:33 PM:

And "Why not buy a hippo?", a sensible question indeed.

wnt hppptms fr Chrstms
nly hppptms wll d
N crcdls r rhncrss
nly wnt hppptmss

#76 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:35 PM:

Clifton Royston @73 And "Why not buy a hippo?", a sensible question indeed.

Because they're actually not the jolly fat people of the animal kingdom as wich they're usually presented, and are often very fierce and aggressive? Then again, that might make them a nicely deceptive addition to your evil lair:
"One more such thing, and I'll have you thrown to the hippos!"
" The hippos? Ha ha, that's a good one, what are they gonna... ... ...Arrrrrgh!"

#77 ::: Carrie S. ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:45 PM:

I think it's a Stirling book in which a character thinks that the fact that hippos are vegetarians, and will spit you out after biting you in half, is no great consolation.

#78 ::: Caroline ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 02:47 PM:

stll rmmbr th tm snt mnd Mrctt, f Pndgn, lnk t n t-dsmvwllr ftr sh mntnd wshng fr n. ddn't xpct n ml bck. nstd gt rpl tht ftrnn, rdng nl "SWT!"

Pndgn dsn't d t mch, thgh. Th sm t lk plyng trll hck bttr. Dff'rnt strks.

ls lk hw Brck bm's nm lks dsmvwlld. Jhn McCn's s mch lss sll.

Srg #69, j' vt jd drnr. (Hy -- dn't hv t wrry bt gndr n dsmvwlld Frnch!)

#79 ::: Tom Whitmore ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 03:14 PM:

ClftnRystn @73:

T qt Hlr Bllc:

"S tll yr pp whr th yk cn b bght
nd f h s wfll rch
H wll b y th crtr -- r ls h wll nt,
cnnt b pstv whch."

Sbsttt hpp fr yk n th prcdng pm.

#81 ::: wll shttrl ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 03:22 PM:

m srr. f hd knwn ws nt stll bnnd, wld hv bn sr t s m dsmvwlld nm.

N nd t nswr ths. dn't knw f 'll rtrn t ths thrd.

#82 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 04:35 PM:

Fr th rcrd, bt mnt g, th ldst pst n th "vw mst rcnt 4000 psts" pg ws frm ctbr th 14th. wndr wht th dt f th ldst pst thr wll b rnd ths tm tmrrw.

#83 ::: dwndrgn ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 04:55 PM:

Well, my online name (since way back to 1995) has been without vowels. I'm also called the 'fierce vowelless one' in some places. However, I have never been disemvowelled. Sheesh. I feel cheated!

#84 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 05:06 PM:

wrt #81 - d´j` v.

#85 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 05:09 PM:

Dbb @84:

Mgnfcnt, bth th cntnt nd th frm (ccnts! n vwls, bt th ccnts rmn! *nts fr ftr*)

#86 ::: Debbie ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 05:29 PM:

b @85 -- *blshs* Thnks!

#87 ::: will shetterly ::: (view all by) ::: November 04, 2008, 08:01 PM:

Deja vu! That, I confess, was hard--without Abi's help, I never would've gotten it. (It stumped the box at disemvowelment.com, but then I thought about accents.)

Brv!

#88 ::: Neil Gaiman ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 11:52 AM:

Frankly, I'm just disappointed that my own contribution to online discourse, disemconsonanting, never took off in the same way.

Still, aa oo o e i i o i, as we say in the disemconsonanting world. Or to put it another way, o e e ue i ou o.


u i.

#89 ::: Raphael ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 02:34 PM:

Myslf @82, t's frm ctbr th 22nd nw.

#90 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 03:21 PM:

Neil @88:

Are you sure you invented it? I recall some prior art*:

O, swear not by the oo, the inconsonated oo,
That monthly changes in its twofold orbs,
Lest that thy love prove likewise aiae.

Or maybe it's the product of too short sleep last night, watching the election from an inconvenient time zone.

----
* Crossthreads for extra points!

#91 ::: Neil Willcox ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 03:56 PM:

Abi @90 Are you sure you invented it? I recall some prior art.

Perhaps Neil is confusing himself with... er... me.

I went into detail 6 months later.

(This thread is giving me a heaache so I'd better stop)

#92 ::: Teresa Nielsen Hayden ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 03:57 PM:

Patrick Connors (64), 'v dn tht t, t trll wh jst wsn't gttng th mssg.

#93 ::: Serge ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 04:22 PM:

Neil Willcox @ 91... This thread is giving me a heaache

What's a heaache?

#94 ::: fidelio ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 04:34 PM:

Don Fitch@57 and everyone else--
Erin McKean might be considered Highly Influential WRT the world of Oxford dictionaries. But I bet she's aware of disemvowelling already.

#95 ::: Bruce Cohen (SpeakerToManagers) ::: (view all by) ::: November 05, 2008, 05:17 PM:

Ptrick Cnnrs @ 64

rthr lk th bscrtn f frst rt-13ng th txt, nd thn dsmvwlling. Lk s:

Cngvpx Pbrf @ 64

V ngur yvxr gr bfphngvb bs svfg bg-13vt gr grkg, nq gr qfzjyyvt. Yvxr fb:

nd thn cn rt-13 gn:

Patick Coes @ 64

I athe like te oscuatio of fist ot-13ig te text, ad te dsmwllig. Like so:

frthr dsmvwllng t tst:

Ptck Cs @ 64

th lk t sct f fst t-13g t txt, d t dsmwlg. Lk s:


disemvowelling.

#96 ::: will shetterly ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 07:03 PM:

I'm trying to reemvowel something, and the folks here are much better at that than I am, so I thought I would ask. With the help of the reemvoweller and the response to the comment in the original thread, I got most of it, I think:

It is sad to acknowledge, but just as Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California and Hawaii are part of the United States, though taken by force thy(?) wr (?), Tibet is part of China and will remain so at least until the centrol government of China is weak again, something that won't be true in our lifetime. Any group that suggests otherwise, and encourages young people to risk their lives to agitate for independence, is doing them a disservice.

But I still haven't figured out why that was considered worthy of disemvowelment. The answer could be in "thy wr". Anyone able to help me out?

#97 ::: Rikibeth ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 07:43 PM:

Will, it looks like "they were" to me.

#98 ::: Mary Aileen ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 07:46 PM:

Will, Rikibeth, that's what I thought, too.

#99 ::: Erik Nelson ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 07:58 PM:

Have people here read The Wonderful O, by James Thurber?

#100 ::: P J Evans ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 08:49 PM:

#99
Yep; my grandparents had a copy, and I should have one, somewhere in one of the boxes.

#101 ::: will shetterly ::: (view all by) ::: November 21, 2008, 09:33 PM:

Rikibeth and Mary Aileen, the construction is a bit odd that way, but English might not be Hamish's native language. I kept trying to make it something about "war," though that's redundant. And I was looking for something offensive there, like "oothy iwura!" and an explanation of how that's Tanzanian for "inept flosser." Still, simplicity works best. Thanks!

#102 ::: abi ::: (view all by) ::: November 22, 2008, 03:16 AM:

It really has to be "they were". Perhaps Hamish* was trying to be mildly poetic without quite knowing how†.

Or perhaps Hamish was briefly Yoda.

-----
* Good Scots name that
† Like the people who scatter "thee" and "thou" randomly in texts, with no understanding of case, in order to sound Shakespearean.

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