I especially like "what you did to the hay fields."

We didn't have a snowstorm on Memorial Day this year. (Haven't had one of them since the year the traveling sculptor came to town and ran off with the elementary school art teacher.) But I see we have wintery weather across the middle of the country -- Michigan, Wisconsin, Iowa, down into Missouri.

Strange kinda year. It was warmer here today than in north Texas.

I fancy that we'll have another unusual summer, weatherwise. That's heck on farmers. I can't find any pie cherries, and word is that last summer's cherry crop was blighted by the drought or what-not.

That last one made me giggle. All of those fit for rural Wisconsin, too.

Firewire:

goes from the distributor to the sparkplug. If those are working, the problem must be the fuel.

I'm confused. You didn't have a Memorial Day snowstorm yet. Right?

It's the April Fool's Day snowstorm that we already haven't had this year, though we've had impressive ones from time to time.

And there was one year back in the 90's when we had snowflakes in the air in every calendar month.

Memorial Day ... May Day. Pretty much run together in my mind.

Streaming: condition of your nose midwinter

Twitter: doesn't happen in winter, the birds have flown south

Virus: see `streaming'

Ram: That thing that splits the wood

This made me giggle for a different reason: my father's nickname was Ram, and he did in fact enjoy splitting wood.

Not a fan of May, huh Jim? :-)

Reminds me of the time I somehow got it into my head that Ash Wednesday would be followed immediately by Maundy Thursday, Good Friday...well, it IS how the week progresses. Just skipped right over that whole tiresome Lent thing.

Download: dropping the wood prior to stacking it
Upload: stacking the wood
Laptop: cat, child or quilt
Tablet: it was a table, but it was a long winter and we ran out of other wood
Kindle: ...

Power Down - goose feather quilt.
Network - what fishermen do.
Bus - takes the kids to school.
Backup tape - stronger than spit, weaker than nails

FrontPage: where the important news is
Publisher: the person who decides what's on the front page
PageMaker: the person who prints the front page
Photoshop: where you drop off your film
Photoshop Elements: door, counter, walls, etc
Dreamweaver: I believe you can get me through the night

Xopher @10: the first time I ever heard "Ash Wednesday" was on news reports of the 1983 Ash Wednesday bushfires in south-east Australia (which were devastating - over a million acres burnt in one day, and 75 people died). It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise that people weren't actually commemorating the fires every year.

search engine - what you do after the last one seized

I used to use a machete to split logs. Took a while too.

Abi: Tablet was what we took for headaches.

Cell: give someone something in exchange for money
Cellphone: give someone a telephone in exchange for money
Mobile: has wheels
Bar: the place with the booze
Reception: the place with the receptionist
Text: the book you use at school
Voicemail: bass, baritone, or tenor

Slash: What you do before you put the loaf of bread in the oven.
Dot: The waitress at the cafe who hates jokes about Kansas.

Web: What spiders spin

Unix: people that can't handle North Country weather

Abi #18: Bar: What Dan'l Boon cilled.

Cell: Where the cops take you when they stop you for DUI.
Cell Phone: You're allowed to make one to your lawyer after you're arrested.

Click: Those stuck-up kids at school.
Sites: What you look at the deer through on your shotgun.
Drag: How you get the dead deer to the truck.

Screen: What keeps the mosquitoes out of your house.
Router: You want one for your wood shop.
Flatbed Scanner: Someone who looks for trucks.
Pixel: Wasn't Tinkerbell one of those?

Mary Aileen @ #20: Web: What spiders spin

Web site: Where spiders spin
Web crawler: Spider

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Flatbed scanner: someone who inspects trucks. Or their loads.

Internet: fish that have been caught.

phishing: what you can do at the lake in the summer, and at the phrozen lake in the winter.

spam: what you might have to eat if you get snowed in too long.

Smart phone: One that knows not to ring during dinner.

Easter egg: What you color with vinegar dye
Flash: What that man with the trenchcoat did, Officer
json: The guy who runs the hardware store
jsonp: Why the snow back behind the hardware store is yellow

Since Jim already got Windows....

Mac: Bartender

There's an amusing coincidence in reading this immediately after reading Scalzi's "Man leaves internet, is still himself" post.

Meanwhile: Internet: Where you want the fish to be.

ajax: scouring powder
bios: people you give stuff to in exchange for money

Online: you have just caught a fish
Offline: you have no longer caught a fish
Bit bucket: where you keep the bait

Dumb phone: One that always **** rings at the precisely wrong moment.

Clamshell: Natural container of clams.

Mobile phone: The one flying through the window after you've just taken it from your annoying teen.

Thumb drive: What you just did with a hammer.

Boot: What you put on your feet.
Soft Boot: No hobnails.
Hard Boot: What the door-to-door salespest gets in their ASCI.

Expanding to non-tech terms, because this is fun:

Slide rule: Deciding whether the runner was tagged or not.
Paradigm: What a candy bar cost when I was a kid.
Leveraging: How you get the truck up so you can change the tire
Bitcoin: How they used to figure out if it was real gold.

CaseyL (38): You must be younger than I am. When I was a kid, a paradigm would buy two candy bars.

I thought CaseyL meant a pair of candy bars for a dime (which was the case just before my time -- my older sister said there were five-cent and ten-cent candy bars, and the ten-cent ones were too big for her to eat all at once).

Plug 'n' play -- the jukebox they used to have over at the diner.

Mother board: PTA

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In my family the mother board was on the wall next to the fridge.

HelenS (40): OK, that interpretation makes at least as much sense as mine; it would make Casey a little older than I am, not a little younger.

Kilohertz: really bad pain

Iphone: That Russki neighbor who lends a hand in apple-pickin' season.

Thumb Drive: The truck has power steering.
Jump Drive: "Damn! That was a big moose!"
Cat-5: No mice in our house.

Youtube: That pipe under the sink.

Scuzzy Drive: It's been under the bed with the dust bunnies

Infodump: coming along in the truck when we drop off the old mattress
Bill Gates: necessary part of buildin' them fences
Captcha: the leftover tobacco you stashed in your hat