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Posted in the current open thread:
I in ur sonnet, doin ur ritin.Speaking of poets, Bruce Cohen, Speaker to Managers, now has his own website. Some sections are still under construction, but he’s put up the Star Trek Cycle and his miscellaneous sonnets—one of which, to bring the circle round, is about Abi.
How do this hapn? I just a kitty.
Main job of catz are just 2B pritty!
(‘Cept with the doggies, then us be fitin.)
Course back in da old days catz was workin
Eatin ur mouses an axin fr milk…
Now giv me treatz or me clawin ur silk!
An bring em here fast, none of ur shirkin.
U humanz r comin under r powr
Uzin ur money to pamper n feed us,
Learnin from websitez how much u need us.
R clvr planz is comin to flower!
Now mousie are safe in his tiny holz
Nless u go catch him. I da boss. LOLz
Addendum: The thread has turned into a game of poetry and pastiches in LOLcat and 1337. This is from Ajay’s LOLcat for the Makers, after Dunbar:
I that in heill wes and gladnesAjay and Jakob have done the Infocom Divine Comedy. Kathryn from Sunnyvale has done the Creation and Fall. Mary Dell, Dan Layman-Kennedy, and Larry Brennan have successively reduced “This is just to say” to shorter and shorter transformations. Dan also gets Prufrock down to two lines. Fragano Ledgister renders a very creditable Chaucer:
Am trublit now with great sicknes
My sicklie stait is no surprise:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.Death sovran is of all the tubez,
Of rich, of poor, of l33t, of n00bz;
No mortal shal escaip his eyis:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ. …
… As sone as youngstre on the net doth loggeMary Dell does Sandburg. Adamsj does Shelley. Julie L. does Blake:
bot thatte hee (or shee) doth make an blogge,
opon the uuiche the bratte doth lightlie write
of matteres simple and of svbjectes trite:
howe one beth lamer, yet another leet,
and howe they never shalle knowe defeat. …
I iz tyg4r burn1nz br1t3Come down and have a look. We’re having a good time.
In yr f0r3stz 0f t3h n1t3
WHUT da m4x l33t h4ndz 0r 3y3z
Fr4m3z0rd mah f33rfl 5mmtryz?In yr sekr1t d33pz n skyz
In yr b4s3 pwnin yr guyz
C4n iz I t3h w4r3z b1n h4xt?
C4n I h4z sum pr0n plzthx?Tyg4r iz l33t burnz0r d00d
1ns1de yr b4s3 34tin yr f00d.
NEkitteh livd in pritteemeowtown
(wit up!ball up!& rubberbandown!)
flowrbulb dedmaus leafdrop sunnipane
kitteh pur he didn’t kitteh rub he did
kittehz dey all (tiny&sm)
kehrd 4 NEkitteh not@all
I be scratchin ur litter & likkn ur viz
warmnap cuddlegleam twinklesleep hiss
litterkittehz gest (but sumz not allz
& furgetz dem laterz as upgrow tall
leafdrop leafbare leaflite leaful)
dat 0kitteh heart him morXmor
wenXnou & treXlef
she lolziz joi she yaoldiz greef
chikkyXbol & boksXscratchz
NEkitteh’s NE b in hr allz
sumkittehz mated wit ur evryk@s
mewd ur purrnz & wiskrd ur leapz
(nap stretch scratch & den) dey
mioud ur nomorz & napt ur dremz
twinklefar hatewet warmpatch facensky
(& only coldbite kn xplainz
how kittenzeez r furgetn 2 remmbr
wit up!ball up! & rubberbandown)
1 day NEkitteh di i ges
(& 0kitteh down 2 lik hiz viz)
bizzy kittehz cvrd dem sidXsid
ltlXltl & wzXwz
allzXallz & depeXdepe
& morXmor & dreemz dey sleep
0kitteh & NEkitteh littrXshowrztim
wskrXspirit & ifXpurr
kittehshes & kittehhes (perr & pirr)
dedmaus leafdrop sunnipane leaflite
sowd in ur reapin & cam in ur went
warmpatch facensky twinklefar hatewet
That, all by itself, refutes the idea that there is any language unsuitable for poetry.
Yeah, Abi, showing us all the dire threat posed by cats worldwide. We are truely under their collective thumb, you know, until there's a bright patch of sunshine on the floor, and then we'll all be saved.
But, yeah Abi!
I, for one, welcome our feline overlords.
By the way, CatWoman was on TV last night.
LOLcat for the Makers
John Dunbar (c. 1500)
I that in heill wes and gladnes
Am trublit now with great sicknes
My sicklie stait is no surprise:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.
Death sovran is of all the tubez,
Of rich, of poor, of l33t, of n00bz;
No mortal shal escaip his eyis:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.
Al flesh is dust; we are but bones;
Baith knight and maid he freely pwns;
Against his glanse brooks no disguyse;
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.
He draws al to his dark bucket;
Whoe'er ye be, ye're surely f***kit;
The Walrus wil not sympathise;
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.
Our base are al belong to Death
And have done since our natal breath
(This point I'd like to emphasise):
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ.
Abi: I'm beginning to worry as to quite why I have cats...
ajay: Most excellent. I can see we're in for a treat on this thread.
Eatin ur mouses an axin fr milk…
I don't know of any cat who asks for anything. A cat who demands, yes... Nonetheless, I enjoyed your poem in spite of the gross error in its biological facts.
If I knew 12th century Tuscan, I could go further than
UR IN HEL NOW
LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA :-(
>UR IN HEL NOW
>U SEEZ A LAKE OF BURNIN FIRE
>U HAZ NO HOPE
N
>BEATRIZ IZ NOT THIS WAI
E
>BEATRIZ IZ NOT THIS WAI
S
>O NOES U IS EATIN BY A GRUE
>KTHX BAI
Ajay, the definition of a three-point round of cataplexy is when something is so funny that it makes me fall out of my well-braced chair. It doesn't happen often.
You shoot, you score.
Text-based Divine Comedy. Fantastic. Why has no one thought of this before? Though the later levels of the game could be a little dull.
>You are on the Sphere of the Fixed Stars.
>Several thousand cherubim are here.
>St Bernard of Clairvaux is here.
>Beatrice is here.
CONTEMPLATE GOD'S LOVE
>You contemplate God's love.
>Time passes...
CONTEMPLATE GOD'S LOVE.
>You contemplate God's love.
>Time passes...
>St Bernard of Clairvaux is talking about Faith.
LISTEN TO BERNARD
>He is a saint, you know!
LISTEN TO ST BERNARD
>St Bernard of Clairvaux discusses the nature of Faith for a canto and a half.
>Time passes...
CONTEMPLATE CREATION
>You meditate on the Creation.
>St Bernard of Clairvaux has finished talking.
UP
>You ascend to the Empyrean.
>EMPYREAN
>God is here.
>The Virgin Mary is here
>St Anne is here.
>Beatrice is here.
FEEL BLISS
>You feel bliss.
And so on.
#5, #7, #10: Gosh. IM IN UR THRED SWELIN WIF PRIDE.
Have you seen this one yet? :-)
I is a kitty and I has good fun
I is entertaining everyone
Dint used to be an internet icon
Till my mom got a digital Nikon
abi, as always, is wonderful.
Inspired (if that is the word) by ajay and with profoundest apologies to William Dunbar and, of course, our noble hostess:
I that in heill wes, and gladnes,
am trublit now with grete seikness,
and feblit with infermitee;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
The stait of noob doth never vary,
ne'er sound, ne'er weill, bot alwaies sary;
baith riche and puir of all degre,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
She takis the haxor in the stour,
the Bushite closit in the tower;
hir awfulle strak may no troll flee:
TNH disemvoelleth mee.
Art-magicianis and astrologis,
rhetoris, logicianis, and theologis,
thame helpith no conclusionis slee;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
I se that regulars maun not escape,
for all that they do bow and scrape;
all are cast into deepeth sea,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
Good maistre Gregory Londoun
could nat escape in the afternoon;
and manie mair in this countre;
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
Tis a mattre of grete regret
we see na mair Public Radio Vet;
for all that he lacked curtesye,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
Sen she hath all my brether tane,
she will nat let me post allane;
on forse I maun her next prey be --
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
Sen for the flame remeid is sure,
tis best that we accept the cure.
The mistris proud of all we see,
TNH disemvowelleth mee.
1 (0u|d 1nd173 4 50nn37 5w337,
17 w0u|d n07 83 4 817 0f 7r0u8|3;
7h3 k377|3 w1|| 4|w4y5 801| 4nd 8u88|3,
1'|| 74k3 7h3 w316h7 r16h7 0ff my f337.
()u751d3, p|4n75 w1|7 1n 7h3 6r347 h347
8u7 1 kn0w 1'm n07 5331n6 d0u8|3;
my 834rd 15 6r0wn, 17 15 n07 57u88|3,
4nd 1 4m 0n3 0f 7h3 6r347 |337.
|\/|y v3r53 w1|| f|0w |1k3 (|34n357 (0d3,
1'm 601n6 70 pwn 7h3 un1v3r53
wh1|3 |1v1n6 w17h my m4m 4nd d4d.
()f 53(r37 1|)5 1'v3 607 4 |04d;
y0u 7h1nk y0u'r3 84d, 8u7 1 4m w0r53,
1'm r34||y, 7ru|y, 7074||y 84d.
Fragano @ #16, at some point there's going to need to be the equivalent of a ROT-13 translator to make this all clear to the n00bz.
(Or maybe there already is.)
Bravo, Fragano. I can read everything but the third cluser in the third-to-last line.
im in ur fridge
eatin ur plums
sorry
they wuz delish
im in ur izebox
eetin ur plumz
Whoops, I completely missed the Fragano's preceding Lament. Bravo again!
I thought Public Radio Vet showed grace under pressure. How many people could keep their composure while being growled at by that lineup? He's welcome to come back.
Linkmeister #17: There is, if you use Firefox, the leetkey add-on, which is what I used to write the thing. L337 h4x0r 1 4m n07.
TNH #18: That's 'IDs'.
TNH #22: Thanks! I too hope PRV comes back.
We're off and running.
Almost every time we've done a Making Light game, I've thought to myself, "Of course, nobody's going to do _______," and then they do. The other time was when Patrick told me nobody would recognize Tolkien as written by Gerrard Winstanley, and by the time we got home from work that night, two people had identified it.
From OT 84:
i 8 ur plumz, although I now realize that it should have started "o hai!"
With very, very, very deep apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer:
Whanne that Septembre doth the summer ende
vnto the schooles the myriad noobs do wende;
they think nat of the trouble and the frette
that they will cause vpon the Internette.
In daies long past svch swaines wee did nat see
vntille they reched college or vniuersitie,
bot nowe at everich schole compvters waite
instrvmentes alike of childish loue and hate.
As sone as youngstre on the net doth logge
bot thatte hee (or shee) doth make an blogge,
opon the uuiche the bratte doth lightlie write
of matteres simple and of svbjectes trite:
howe one beth lamer, yet another leet,
and howe they never shalle knowe defeat.
Gentillesse and chivalrie do soffre rout
whanne these yonge men and women doe come out;
whilom there was on the Nette true cortesye
bot nowe gode manners doe from the Webbe flee.
UUee elders loke, and we ovre heads doe shake
and uuonder whether twas alle an mistake.
One thing there beth that doth drive us bats,
and thatte is all those swivinge lolcatz!
What interests me is the lack of actual cats attached to the text.
My husband posted this to his LJ a few weeks ago. I think I got about 2/3 of the way through before I realized what he was up to.
What interests me is the lack of actual cats attached to the text.
Which is disappointing as if we had a lot of cat poems, we could make a musical from them. If the costumes were good enough, we wouldn't even have to come up with a plot.
Since I can't rhyme anything this evening:
The cat sits legless
No response when I enter
She is not a dog
I laughed so hard at "INVISIBLE PASTICHE" that I ended up whanging my knee off the side of my desk.
On a related note, LOLWho over at I Has a Tardis.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Is Schrödinger's Cat dead?
That remains up to you.
The talent here leaves me in awe.
I am afraid to write a line
For fear of looking like a fool.
But we all dance to abi’s paw,
Pinning down the slippery rhymes.
The end result is kind of cool.
Fragano @ #23: w00t! I do indeed use Firefox, but I had thus far been unaware I needed that add-on. Thanks.
oh hai! I r fog
I walk on feetz (of catz)
lookin at ur city and stuff
ok goin now
Anyone who hasn't already seen this via Language Log might be interested in checking it out: IM IN UR LOOP UPPING UR VAR!!1
Abi--I have a younger sister of your name, and was just telling her the other day about the other Abi I knew, and how cool persons named Abi are. I am going to have to print this out to show to her--there will be lolz aplenty, even though I don't think she's discovered lolcats yet.
ajay, Speaker To Managers--brilliance as well!
abi, ajay, Jakob
IM IN UR DEBT NOW
LAPPING UP UR POSTS
Abi--I have a younger sister of your name, and was just telling her the other day about the other Abi I knew, and how cool persons named Abi are. I am going to have to print this out to show to her--there will be lolz aplenty, even though I don't think she's discovered lolcats yet.
ajay, Speaker To Managers, everyone else--brilliance as well!
Now I really must go or I'll get no work done this afternoon...
In ML games I'm mired.
I sink in catlike sloth.
I'm going to get fired.
My workstation is wired
To 'nets as if in troth.
In ML games I'm mired.
Those minds I have admired?
They draw me like a moth.
I'm going to get fired.
My lunch break has transpired.
To get to work I'm loth.
In ML games I'm mired.
For sysad I was hired.
I'll make my bosses wroth.
I'm going to get fired.
Of I.T. I'm so tired.
I'm cut from different cloth.
In ML games I'm mired.
I'm going to get fired.
(halp, doublepostz! but the poesy was worth double praise)
i in ur japan
sevent33n sy11ablez iz
rly shrt peomz
Nenya,
For my part, thank you. But I've been far, far outdone on this thread.
As, indeed, I expected to be. And am happy to be.
When I grew up, I was the only Abi or Abigail anywhere. The name has since exploded into popularity, which has not yet ceased to bemuse me.
o hai
I'm in your fic
seducing yr legolas
Hai
Im waibak in time in Arachosia killing ur klopts.
Suzdal R God.
Im in ur twisty passages
eatin ur plover
plugh
Hai
im in ur doon
h8ting on bene gesserit
Im in ur DRM
eatin ur rights
mousey tastez better
Fragano 51:
hai
im in ur seech
drpwning ur wurmz
Felines, nothing more than felines,
trying to pick up my felines that play
Yarn balls rolling on the floor,
trying to pick up my felines that play
Felines, wo-o-o felines,
Wo-o-o, felines jump outta my arms
I l0v dm litl mouseyz
Mouseyz what I l0v 2 eat
Bite teh litl hedz off
Nibl on teh tinE f33t
Xopher #54:
Hai
Im in ur selamlik
pwning ur padishah
o hai!
i'm in ur n3utr4l zon3
annoyin teh romulanz
pwnx0rin ur shi3ldz
LOLz!
#33 More LOLWho at http://nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com/1312928.html
I'm not writing, but I give you the ultimate cat cartoon.
Im in ur dezrt
feedin ur despr
lol kbye
Pzymdns
Im n yr crypt st4kin yr s1r3
h3 g0tz n0e s0l3z nao 4ft4r t3h butts3cks LOLz
kthxbai
James Dobson Projecting, Tellingly, Onto His Cat
**
I maded you a promise to uphold your house
But I sunked ur bones in quick-destroying limes
And turnt ur flesh to timber for all time
Toppled ur bucket; lold ur boughs
And eated your ecstacy that miaos
Pushed u, sir, to the point where
U bore a little more than u could bear
Not the arch and
Not the corner
Of this noble fabric u has builded
But I made your laundry gilded
And for my second work of grace
I freed u up some counter space
Hid in curtins.
Saw u there.
U bared a little more than I could bare.
K sorry
Sorry
I atone
In dismal sorrow
Wif this cone
Im in ur slushpile
workin on my psychosis
Julie L, I beg to differ. This is the ultimate cat cartoon.
In re:
"I that in heill wes and gladnes
Am trublit now with great sicknes
My sicklie stait is no surprise:
IM IN UR BASE KILIN UR GUYZ."
Timor kitteh conturbat meh! LOL! You rock!
Nancy @66: m4r1L33 iz in yr #61, p01nt0rz @ t00nz.
I iz tyg4r burn1nz br1t3
In yr f0r3stz 0f t3h n1t3
WHUT da m4x l33t h4ndz 0r 3y3z
Fr4m3z0rd mah f33rfl 5mmtryz?
In yr sekr1t d33pz n skyz
In yr b4s3 pwnin yr guyz
C4n iz I t3h w4r3z b1n h4xt?
C4n I h4z sum pr0n plzthx?
Tyg4r iz l33t burnz0r d00d
1ns1de yr b4s3 34tin yr f00d.
*sigh*
I have never had such a good time while simultaneously being made to feel really stupid by so many cool people.
This is way harder than I thought.
This is all I got:
ATEOTD, it wuz drear-age
i wuz thinkin, pwned, an phr33kage
r34din pr0n, an playn warez.
i in ur bed, take ur nappin,
wehn dis haxor getz kekeke'in,
kekeke'in @ my skreenage.
sum trolz wuz eatin lamerz,
IMHO, LOLz.
IIRC, it wuz Decembrage.
N da luzzers wuz pwnage
as i ROTF.
ZOMG, I wantin 2B L8R,
i STFW, WTF? W/E
i searchin 4 d tweedler.
4 d GR8 tweedler haxor,
no alias no RL no more
IM IN UR MEMRY
BEIN ONSTAGE
I've been trying to come up with something better than that all day. I bow to you, Fluorosphere, for you are great.
oh, hai,
We can has heavenz and erz?
Im in ur void, separatin ur darknez
We can has expanz?
We can has bukkits?
Im in ur plaz, gathrin ur lanz
We can has veg?
Im in ur lanz, goodin ur seedz
We can has litez?
Im in ur sky, makin ur daz
We can has prey?
Im in ur lanz, kindin ur live
We can has catz?
Catz has likenez.
Rly ok, thx
We can has rest?
Has rest
oh, hai
We can has detalez?
Im in ur fields, formin ur duzt
We can has edin?
Im in ur faz, makin the rulz
We can has peeps?
Im in ur sleep, takin ur ribz
Invisible clothz
BRB
Rly ok
U can has frutz?
Do not want di
Teh frutz is lava
U can has wizdim?
want frutz
death has a flavor lol
oh, hai, back, wheru?
Visible figleef
OMG rly sori
Invisible legz
Invisible desirz
Visible sweatz
Visible sword
Julie L: Oops!
2 b r no7 2 b
iz qu3s710n
mmm sunb34m
b
In ur l337 jun6|3
5|33p1n6 2nite
TUNA? kthxbai!
Okay, now I'm ashamed of myself. And this is harder than it seems!
HAI SAM
IM IN UR HAUS,
IN UR BOX,
WIT UR MAUS,
WIT UR FOX,
ON UR TRAIN,
IN UR CAR,
IN UR RAIN,
IN UR DARK,
EATIN UR GREEN EGGZ AND HAMZ.
Im in ur Xanadu,
eatin ur laudanum.
Oh noes! Doorknock!
|_|r 8453 4m 1 1n
|16h7-5483r1n6 ur d00dz
m3 7h3 f0r(3 15 w17h
L()LY0d4
1m 1n ur (453 |\|16h7m4r3 6r33n
n188|1n6 0n ur 73n74(|35
(h3wy, k7nx841
Doodz, ths txtng ant 4 uz
dnt lol tht aino way.
me hooby ris sardonicus
iz riz n out, kk?
sumcatz txt cz thr noobs & dum
mayB they aino pandit
Bt me try til me hed is num
I still can't understand it.
me@70: OK, I give up. I tried to come up with a stanza where the Raven says Nevermore and got bupkiss. Nothing. Nada. I'm tapped.
Dood, im in ur = ack! hairball!
hai,
Catz sleepin anywhre, 'ny tabls, 'ny chairs.
T0p uv piano, windoe-ledge, in da middul, on de edge,
0pn drawz, emty shooz, ennybody's lap ull do.
Fitted inna cahdbord bx, innda cubbord wit ur froks,
'Nywhre! We's don't care! Catz slep 'nywhre!
kbai - i's sleepin now
#72:
o hai
im jacob
im in ur canaan
begettin ur chosen peeps
o noes! invisible angel!
me@70: OK, I give up. I tried to come up with a stanza where the Raven says Nevermore and got bupkiss.
I MADED YOU A STANZA
BUT I DELETED IT
or
DOOR RAVEN IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE
R LOLcatz could walk
r dcentlee stalk
down Olympus they fell
from ze armz of miz MkngL33t
Tho 10 yrs in al
wr conzumed by teh fall
we cd has missed ur cheezburger
n hax0red less sw33t
was sonst noch? der LOLkatz hackt gern ein Webserver/am Abend im Rechenzentrum/das stkrt die Verdauungskraft/und l33tet die Cheezburger..
R LOLcatz could walk
r dcentlee stalk
down Olympus they fell
from ze armz of miz MkngL33t
Tho 10 yrs in al
wr conzumed by teh fall
we cd has missed ur cheezburger
n hax0red less sw33t
was sonst noch? der LOLkatz hackt gern ein Webserver/am Abend in Rechenzentren/das stkrt die Verdauungskraft/und l33tet die Cheezburger..(repeated to post to pluralise "Rechenzentrum" and fix rhyme scheme)
IM IN UR LAB
IN UR BOX
AM I DED
ONLY KWANTUM THEERIE KNOWZ
I blame the muses here. For the idea I mean; if the stresses or rhymes are off, it's entirely my own fault.
On the Production of Luminosity
All hail the glorious Fluorosphere!
All knowledge is found on this site
Bookbinders, knitters, are found here
And many more are Making Light.
This is a gift economy,
The currency: posts shining bright
We lay them out for all to see
and hope they please at Making Light.
We may be frivolous sometimes,
But never ignore others' plight,
Humane and kindly are our minds
This is the strength of Making Light
We speak round here of matters that
Do challenge those that have great might
And yet we speak here too of CATZ
For we are great at Making Light.
From dinosaurs to sodomy,
Our threads are woven; and the sight
of tapestries produced thusly,
graces the walls of Making Light
A band of poets too is here
Each spurs another to great height
My humble contribution this
To the discourse at Making Light
A final thought: the posts you see
Teresa's pruned, oft through the night
So let us all with comity
produce our best at Making Light
Post scriptum:
A thanks to posters all from me:
You help me check my thoughts are right,
And this is why I'm proud to be
A commentor on Making Light
Lila@69: I have never had such a good time while simultaneously being made to feel really stupid by so many cool people.
I'M IN UR COMMENTZ
AGREEING UR SENTIMENTZ
Natalie@30: Wow! That's really cool. I suppose I should go and post saying so there....
(I got what he was doing right in the prologue, though, since I remembered who Cats was.)
Kathryn from Sunnyvale @ #72: excellent.
hai, i iz in3g0 m0nt0y4
u KOS mai f4th3r
DIAF
I don't think this really works but:
im in ur h31mz d33p
killin ur guyz
uruk hai
Rich man can has girl.
Bngli: i can has dance?
J4N3: k
l12: i can has dance too?
DarC: no u ugly go way
l12: LOLz
Bngli: BRB
MrC0lnz: l12 i can has heart?
l12: no gway
Chrltt: u can has me
MrC0lnz: K BRB
Wikm: IM IN UR TOWN SEDUCIN UR DAUTERS
lyd14: o hai
DarC: i can has heart?
l12: no gway u rude
l12: IM IN UR PEMBERLEY ADMIRIN UR STUFF
DarC: hai
l12: OMG thought u were AFK!!1!
J4N3: OMG K17y & Wikm BFF
l12: WTF?
lyd14: i can has wikm, k?
Wikm: i can has $$$? LOL
DarC: k
Bngli: hai, back. i can has heart?
J4N3: k lol
DarC: back
l12: thx 4 ur help
DarC: i can has heart?
l12: k lol
Neil,
It works.
Everyone,
Wow. I'm delighted to be so thoroughly outclassed so many times.
And I can't convey how strange it is to see my name over & over again in the Recent Comments section. The background processing section of my brain, which catches on things that the foreground should stop and pay attention to, has a bad case of the hiccups as a result.
LOLz
abi can has me admir31n6n355
me hat3z be sm4rt357 1 in r00m
n3v3r 4m w/ abi h33r
s33krit msg 2 eggzopher: im in ur yah00 ritin u emailz!
Surely it would be:
Im on yr pallid bust of pallas,
quothing yr nevermore?
LOLbeats:
1: OH NOES!!1! Mah bestest minds asplode!
2: Can I has new rebirth of freedom?
One more LOLbeat:
IM IN UR ROADZ BUMMIN UR DHARMA
Jeepers.
Not only most of Western literature as text, but a three-beat villanelle from Mary Dell?
Holy leaping two rhymes throughout, Batman.
OH NOES !! I IS SUDDENLY TRANSFORMD INTO MONSTRUS INSECT !!
[ "Hey, guys, you won't believe the size of the bug I just squished in Gregor's room." ]
OH NOES !! I IS SUDDENLY TRANSFORMD INTO MONSTRUS INSECT !!
[ "Hey, guys, you won't believe the size of the bug I just squished in Gregor's room." ]
Macavity iz Mystery Cat; can has Invisible Paw.
Iz master crimnl, breakin all ur law
Scotland Yard no can has him, Flyin Squad no wai,
4 when they in ur scene of crime, Macavity AFK.
#91: as so many others, this goes well to the tune of "The Ballad of the Green Berets".
Which of course makes me think of:
W1llrd: omfg still in saigon!!!
W1llrd: saigon=teh lam3
W1llrd: am st0nd
W1llrd: BRB
MPGuy: o hai
MPGuy: UOK W1llrd?
W1llrd: I can has missn pls?
W1llrd: im in ur base
W1llrd: eatin ur shrimp
GNRL: Krtz gon nutz!!
GNRL: total phsycko
GNRL: psycho sorry
GNRL: LOL
GNRL: u ownz0r Krtz?
CIADUDE: ownz0r wif xtrm prejudice
W1llrd: k
K1LG0R: charlie ur pwned!!
K1LGOR: am on ur beech
K1LGOR: surfin ur wave
K1LGOR: LOL
CHARLIE: im in ur huey
CHARLIE: im blowin u up!!! ur pwned GI!!!
K1LGOR: o hai i can has napalm?
USAF: k
USAF: visible napalm
K1LGOR: kthx
K1LGOR: mmm smellz
K1LGOR: beer!!! LOL
KRTZ: im in ur jungl
KRTZ: extrminatin ur brutez
KRTZ: W1llrd ur pwned!
KRTZ: ur soldr W1llrd?
Lance: wher ru W1llrd?
Lance: I can has B-52?
KRTZ: teh horror!
KRTZ: teh horror!
im in mi monastery
doin mi job
all nite
writin wurdz
pangurcatz in mi monastery
doin his job
all nite
catchin micez
i can has wizdum
he can has micez
weez gud (practiz!)
uz LOL
I'm enjoying this thread, even though text messaging is mostly a MrE 2ME. (I guess 2B R NO2B is too obvious -- not that I really know how to text that either!)
All this, plus the occasional cat....
I can has peach?
O HAI MERMAIDZ! kbai :(
And a LOLbeat for Howard Peirce:
im in ur heroenn vishun
havn teh buttseks
At strt wuz l33t
& l33t wuz wth catz
& l33t wuz catz lol
Al cheez is canxd; we must say kthnxbye
We ntrn tonite for teh North
N teh morning will see teh serverz wr doomed to ahax0r;
sno down to teh raisedfloor.
we will lol out thurr
Meanwhile on F6, the LOLcode dev team have finished...sorree..has got a PERL interpreter!
> IM IN UR MEADHALL EATIN UR GUYZ
> wh@ h4pn!!
> 5umbdy set up utz t3h 6renz0r!!
> hai I r hiro can I has arm?
> OH NOES :(
> oh hai mom
> 4lL UR C4RLZ 4R3 83l0N9 T0 u2.
> i move zig make ur time.
> PWND :( :( :(
teh ph3ll0wshp ov teh ring
81L80: i can has pRty!!1!
81L80: kthxby
phr0d0: i can has qi8 lif?
6&lf: no
s4m: i can has lvs?
6&lf: k ttyl
4r460rn: o hai
4r460rn: ping 6&lf
6&lf: [AFK]
nz6L: i can has ring?
phr0d0: i is stabid
Rw3n: hai
Lr0nD: i can has council
80r0mr: gndr can has ring?
6&lf: no.
6&lf: ring is teh bad.
Lr0nD: go break ring b4 we get pwned
phr0d0: kbye
P1P&: i in ur m0r14 dropin ur stonz
84lrg: hai 6&lf
6&lf: o hai
phr0d0: DNFTT!
6&lf: bye
G4l4dr3L: o hai
G4l4dr3L: ping 6&lf
6&lf: [AFK]
phr0d0: u want ring?
G4l4dr3L: nthx
G4l4dr3L: u can has prezents
61ml1: i can has hair?
G4l4dr3L: k
phr0d0: kbye
80r0mr: i can has ring?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: bye
s4m: i can come?
phr0d0: k
rx: uruk hai*
80r0mr: i is stabid
80r0mr: \a
80r0mr: bye
MRY: i m pwned!
P1P&: me2
-----
* thx Neil
teh 2 twrz
4r460rn: o hai
30m1r: hai
4r460rn: i can has frendz?
30mir: ded
30mir: u can has hrses
4r460rn: kthxbye
30mir: bye
rk: i can has leg?
P1P&: no
P1p&: bye
MRY: bye
Treebeard: Hello.
MRY: hai
P1P&: hai
Treebeard: What are you doing here?
P1P&: we're in ur forest bein ur frends
Treebeard: What odd creatures you are, to be sure.
Treebeard: Hoom.
MRY: R we frendz?
Treebeard: You are very hasty.
Treebeard: I think we need to talk.
P1P&: k
6&lf: o hai
4r460rn: OMG WTF??!?
61ml1: me2
L36ol45: me3
G&lf: ping Th30dn
Th30dn: [no reply]
Wrmtng: im in ur hall controlin ur king
G&lf: gway
Wrmtng: kbye
G&lf: ping Th30dn
Th30dn: ohai thx
G&lf: ttyl
30wyn: i can has 4r460rn?
4r460rn: no
rx: im in ur h3lmz d33p sloterin ur d00dz
G&lf: ohai
rx: i is stabit
G&lf: ohai
MRY: hai
G1ml1: i can has pipeweed?
P1P&: k
S4R-m4n: ttyl
P1P&: i can has shiny rock?
G&lf: no
G&lf: shiny rock is teh bad.
P1P&: i in ur bedrool steelin ur rox
P1P&: o no shiny rok is teh bad.
G&lf: :rolleyes:
phr0d0: im in ur mountains climin ur rox
60lm: i can has ring? preshz?
s4m: no
s4m: 60lm is teh bad
phr0d0: r we frendz?
60lm: k
s4m: 3l3phants! LOL!
f4r4m1r: ohai
f4r4m1r: i can has ring?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: ring is teh bad
60lm: i can has fish?
f4r4m1r: no
f4r4m1r: ttyl
5h3l0b: I CAN HAS MEAT?
s4m: no
5h3l0b: I IS STABID
s4m: i can has ring
sh4gr4t: i can has hobbit
Sorry, but the third part will be a bit...RL calls.
oh noes! dark!
im in ur old age, cussin
DO NOT WANT!
(Category: villanelle pastiches I won't be completing anytime soon)
I'm not going to even try to write any text, but the soundtrack for this thread can be found here.
118: Where's the traditional opening "W00T!" ?
im on ur dinosawrs
sodomizin
Assorted:
IM IN UR WEELBARRO
EATIN UR CHIKKENS
HEI LOOK A WADDERS!
FROGGEH BE JUMPIN INXORS
MAKIN SWEET SOUND LOLZ
and
"Tatha, tatha-ta, tatha-agaLOLZ" - Buddha Kitteh
...which of course makes me think of the Smokey the Bear Sutra.
b0mb4dl: hai d0l meri d0l ring a d0ng dll0
g0ldbry: hez ma d00d
b0mb4dl: give me ring
phr0d0: ok
ring: pwned
288
o hai, Is a noob
Ur not on Utube?
k, b frienz.
oh noes! demographik trenz.
Can has linkz? cuz
I has a blog!
fillin up LJ
is teh slog.
c0$t3110: ping 1st
$880tt: WTF?
c0$t3110: dat 2nd
$880tt: STFU
c0$t3110: iz 3rd
$880tt: OMGWTFRUTA?
c0$t3110: datz r shrtstp
teh r37urn of teh king
d3n37h0r: ohai
6&lf: hai
MRY: im in ur city pledgin ur oathz
6&lf: :rolleyes:
30wyn: now i can has 4r460rn?
4r460rn: no
30wyn: kbye
30wyn: i can has battle?
Th30dn: no
30wyn: :-(
P1P&: i can has battle?
Th30dn: no
P1P&: :-(
4r460rn: im in ur dedpathz askin ur help
ded: k
nzgl: we on ur plen besegin ur city
6&lf: ohai
Th30dn: hai
Th30dn: i is stabid
nzgl: i can has victim?
drnhlm: no
nzgl: im an admin
nzgl: /kill drnhlm
30wyn: i wuz sockpuppet
nzgl: i is stabid
4r460rn: im in ur city bein sekritiv
4r460rn: don tell
4r460rn: i can has kngzfoil?
4r460rn: kthxbye
f4r4m1r: ohai
30wyn: hai
f4r4m1r: LOL
30wyn: LOLz
6&lf: im at ur blak get massin my armey
mouth: I HAV CLOTHZ
mouth: LOL
6&lf: :-(
mouth: KBYE
phr0d0: ohai
s4m: ohai
phr0d0: i can have ring?
s4m: k
phr0d0: im in ur wasteland sneakin around
60lm: i can have ring nou?
phr0d0: no
phr0d0: ALL UR MIDL ERTH ARE BELONG TO US
60lm: i can have finger
60lm: i is burnid
44r460rn: im in ur city bein ur king
44r460rn: i can have Rw3n
44r460rn: LOLz
S4R-m4n: im un ur Shire doin my harrowin
phr0d0: ohai
phr0d0: gway
S4R-m4n: kbye
S4R-m4n: i am stabid
s4m: i can have red book
s4m: i can have Bag End
s4m: w00t
phr0d0: kbye
s4m: kthxbye
Hm, didn't quite catch the flavor right. lemme try again
c0$t3110: ping 1st
$880tt: WTF?
c0$t3110: WTF b 2nd
$880tt: IDK
c0$t3110: IDK r 3rd
$880tt: OMGWTFRUTA?
c0$t3110: OMGWTFRUTA r ur shrtstp
Abi #130: Er, I think you've got Merry and Pippin backwards (Merry stays in Rohan, Pippin goes to Gondor).
I've been varying from speechless admiration to laughing-to-the-point-of-collapse.
Bruce Cohen @ 49: Oh. My. God. Brilliant.
(So are all the others, but that one really got to me.)
Fragano@133: abi thus joins the exalted company of those who can't tell Merry and Pippin apart, including (by her own admission) Ursula K. LeGuin.
abi
ROTFLMAO. Of course Treebeard doesn't text! Question: is 1 ringtone enough to rule them all?
Ringtone #3 -> nekk1d skycl4d 3lf l33tz!
Ringtone #7 -> dw4rfs whut B4lr0g kan 33tz
Ringtone #9 -> m0rt4l n00b guiz g3tz k1llz
Ringtone #1 -> h4x0r w1t h1z m4d sk1llz
ROFLin ins1de ur b4s3 txtin 0n yr f0ne
STFU suxx0r n00bage coz j00 4ll b1n pwnd.
Regarding Swift:
IM IN UR SATIRE
EATIN UR KIDZ
ajay, the text-based Divine Comedy has me happy beyond all words.
"Oh, very well, just this once. - H00M! -"
OH HAI
IM IN UR COPA CABANA
MACKIN ON UR LADY
I CAN HAS DIAMOND
O NOES GUN
BRB
OH HAI
O NOES OLD LADY
...
Had to delurk for this. O NOES, IRRESISTIBLE CONTEST!
Someone did a later part:
i haz a muse! Achilles-greek is aggressive
im in ur id - 00dy
hai
im in ur gaul
kiln ur barbs
oh noes! b4d l471n!
Re: 119: the council of Lr0nD needs a slight edit (in bold):
Lr0nD: i can has council
80r0mr: gndr can has ring?
6&lf: stfu n00b
6&lf: ring is teh bad.
Lr0nD: go break ring b4 we get pwned
phr0d0: kbye
Also: this.
[metacomment:
if you're like me, I highly recommend not reading any Emily Dickinson for the duration of this thread. Rly, 2ly, you might find yourself unable to not translate into EmiLOLy. Be like playing with a Langfordian BLIT once too often.]
i haz seen best of mah litter
dun in by macros
dragggin selves thru internets
lookin for cheezburgers
LOL
Kathryn, you undoubtedly did that on purpose. Shame on you! But I shall resist. I shall be strong. I shall not type things like "i iz ded. WTF! Fly! Catchit!" Nor shall I be guilty of pastiches beginnng "o hai, i iz deth. reddy yet?" No. I has willpower. Bukkets of it.
i iz 0
u?
ru 0 2?
wi iz p41r!
n0 r4t r we b4nd
n0t 0 suxx
t41k 2 mch
i iz 0
u?
ru 0 2?
This thread is clearly approching the lolsingularity.
Comments on Abi Sutherland, on Catz: